The hypocrisy of judging

When I watch television or read the news, I am so often saddened to see just what a judgmental people we have become. Sure, we have always judged one another, but as of late we seem to be seriously more vicious in our attacks.

We judge one another on a wide range of areas, race, gender, orientation, religion, financial status, education, clothing, speech, body-language, etc...

I take a lot of heat from my Christian friends (yes, I still have some, the ones that know its not personal). I am often accused of being anti-Christian, I am not. I tend to ride them tough since they are the dominant religious group in the United States. Riding Muslims hard would work if I lived in Saudi Arabia or some place that is an Islamic state, but in today's America the point would be completely missed by most.

Here is an example of one aspect of where Christianity is failing I think:


I will be the first to admit that I have some serious issues where it comes to the Westboro Baptist Church (frightening that the church's homepage is the "GodHatesFags.com" site). Surprisingly, my biggest issue with them is not their strong dislike of homosexuals or their completely tasteless tactics of protesting, but the use of their children in their protests. Hate is something that has to be taught, Denis Leary put it so well:


What chance do these children have to be anything more than their parents? I do not even want to think about the pain and anguish that one of their children will go through if they grow up and find themselves to be LGBTQ.

What does the Bible say about judging and the law

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One of the most famous quotes from the Christian Bible on this subject is the King James Version of Matthew 7:1; "Judge not, that ye be not judged", but look at what follows it.

7 Do not judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves.

2 For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you.

3 Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that is in your brother’s eye but do not become aware of and consider the beam of timber that is in your own eye?

4 Or how can you say to your brother, Let me get the tiny particle out of your eye, when there is the beam of timber in your own eye?

5 You hypocrite, first get the beam of timber out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the tiny particle out of your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:1-5 (AMP)
My experience is that this is proven true by the realization that what we dislike and hate in others, hence judge as wrong, are nothing but the reflection of what we dislike and hate within ourselves. No, I am not accusing the members of the Westboro Baptist Church of being homosexual (gay men everywhere are breathing a large sigh of relief).

Some say that we dislike and hate what we do not know and that causes fear, but I think that is more a response to our sense of lack in knowledge and experience and most people hate having fear within themselves.

People like the members of Westboro and sadly others who are just looking for justification for their distrust of anything different often use the Law of Moses and the Levitican Code as their weapon of choice.

They almost always pick and choose which parts are valid, the parts that address themselves are overlooked; their favorite foods (bacon, ham, shrimp and lobster), the availability of cheap cool clothing from Walmart (mixed threads), cheaper meats (non-Kosher), touching the skin of dead pigs (football), etc. My personal favorite is that I have yet to meet the Christian man who has the balls to put his wife out during her monthly menses.

It has become the common belief that the Law of Moses is there by God's direct intent, literally the will of God, but Jesus tells us that is not necessarily the case:

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Matthew 19:8 (KJV)
So we know that parts of the law are there by the knowing of Moses, not by God's decree, how do we determine which is which?

The answer is a few chapters away, Jesus not only tells us the basic framework for all the law , but gives us a direct key to its implementation:

35 Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying,

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Matthew 22:35-40 (KJV)
emphasis mine
If you apply the Law through the filter of Love, you will never use it as a tool of destruction against another, how would you honestly bludgeon your brother to death in the name of love?

A Defense of Religion

I happen to be a fan of Bill Maher, I think he is fun and entertaining. I recently re-watched his film "Religulous" and also ran into a short series of interviews with Bill Moyers "on Faith & Reason", as well as a few other items and it started me thinking about the current views of many people regarding organized religion and what many religionists likely view as the new "War on Religion."

About the same time I ran across the following cartoon which really sums up the issues that many non-religious people have with organized religions and their followers:

Let's be honest with ourselves, Religion in many ways has asked for the harsh eye that has been placed on it in recent years. Religion has been used to justify every darkness that lies in the heart and soul of man and the more that one looks into it, the easier it becomes to question if Religion has any validity in the world.

Believers think that they are following the will of God as they see it, as such, they are not usually willing to negotiate their positions.  This is actually fine, believe what you will and act on it in YOUR life, and that is where most religionists lose the game.

Green Stamp Theology

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People often try to spread the truth of their beliefs into the world and try to persuade others to act in accordance with what their religion teaches. There is often a problem with this in that those who are so busy "spreading the word" are not often as diligent in their practice of the word, I call this "Green Stamp Theology."

When I was a kid, my Mom would shop often at certain stores where they would give you "S&H Green Stamps" with each purchase. You would take the stamps and fill the books with them and then go to the redemption center and use them to buy items, an early customer rewards program.

As a theology, it works this way, it doesn't matter what I do as long as I can get   X   number of people to believe the way I do, I can buy my way into the eternity of the chosen. If you ask them, they will nearly always deny this, but this is the outcome of their actions.

Where Religions Lose It

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I recently heard an interesting statement;

Religions are grand, lofty ideals.
Religious followers, now that's something else.

Fortunately, the problem is not the religions, but the followers. OK, I know you are wondering how this works...

We will use Christianity in this example, but it works for any religion.

Jesus taught a philosophy that made sense to him. He understood what he was trying to pass along to his followers and particularly his disciples. From the writings that have come down to us, I would say that John "got it" more than any other, at least from his writings.

Sadly, the many generations that followed have not understood it, but have done their best to keep it alive.  For the most part, they succeeded, the Gospel of John has survived 1800+ years and is still available to read and study today, now as to if the current interpretation of it has anything to do with the original, that may be another issue (thanks a lot Irenaeus).

As time goes on, those who understood the teacher passed on and left those who understood less and less of the original teaching. This is just the way things go, as time goes on, the teaching becomes a tradition and then a dogma. Once it becomes dogma it is etched in stone and any that attempt to reinterpret it are viewed as anathema.

Add to this the insertion of Ego that inevitably comes along, the teaching becomes "The Teaching" and sooner or later it goes from being a presentation of Truth to the "One and Only Truth" with all others being false gods and lies of whatever form evil takes, in Christianity it would be Lucifer, the Devil.

Religion's Saving Grace

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Fortunately, there is a saving grace for religion in general, for those who truly seek it out and sift through all that gets piled on top of it, the original truth that was expressed by the teacher is still there. This core truth is often buried under dogmas and theologies, tradition and canon but to those who would search, they will find Truth.

⁷Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
⁸For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8 (KJV)

Jesus said: "Recognize what is before your face and that which is hidden from the you will be revealed to you. For there is nothing hidden which shall not be made manifest, nor buried which shall not be raised."

Gospel of Thomas saying 5
This is the saving grace of Religion, if Truth is there, it will remain forever.

Time and tradition may pile on many things to the original source but if you will engage your heart and spirit and be willing to be a touch of an archeologist in your studies, you will reveal the Truth underneath. Turn your brain on, it was given to you for a reason. Pray and/or meditate on your studies, inspiration will almost always follow and point you in the right direction.

Religion is not really about "others" out there, but about YOUR relationship to the Creative Source of the Universe. It is your job to grow within that relationship, let others concern themselves with their growth.  Feel free to share knowledge with those that want it but never enforce your thoughts, beliefs or otherwise onto others, there is more than plenty of examples of how quickly that will fail in the world around us and sadly they are collectively called Religion.

Oh no the Devil didn't

I was brought up with the idea that the Devil was out there in a spiritual war with God and that all people were the pawns in this cosmological warfare. Later I learned about how I would spend eternity in either Heaven or Hell based upon how I fared in the above battle. I also became aware that unless I turned into Linda Blair's character in "The Exorcist" that a comedic punchline of my youth was impossible, "the Devil made me do it."

Short of possession, the Devil, or any other spirit, cannot make you do anything, at best they can suggest, lure or tempt. Think about it for a moment, if you are possessed, you are not in control, so how can you be responsible for your actions, the possessor is.

The awkward fact is that we are responsible for our actions because, like it or not, conscious or not, we made the choice to do the act. This choice is why we are "damned" by our actions.

I cannot help but laugh at this idea of being damned, it is so like us to create our gods in our own image. Judgment and punishment are what we would do, so of course our gods have to do likewise.

Salvation comes from our learning of such things so we can make better choices. Grace comes from the simple idea that no matter how lost we get in the "illusion" of this reality, our true selves are unaffected, we remain a part and parcel of God's totality.

So awaken to your choices and by becoming aware, you will do better with each attempt. Just remember when you slip up, be kind to yourself, learn from it and remind yourself, "Oh no the Devil didn't."

Be an original, swim upstream

I find it amazing how we change as we grow up (ewww) and older (ick). Since I wrote my last entry I have been looking back over my life and I have been very surprised at some of the things I used to do that I would not even consider doing now (as a pseudo grown-up).

One of the best dates I ever had came from a ride home. When we arrived at my place, I leaned over and kissed a nearly complete stranger. I don't know why, I wanted to and instead of being terrified of the outcome I just did it, predating Nike's "Just Do It" campaign by 4 years (Spring of 1984 vs July 1^st, 1988). I got a date out of it since the party kissed was so surprised by it they remembered me and later asked me out.

Some would say with age comes wisdom, I say they should stick that back in their butt where it came from and admit it for what it is, conformity.

We often hear about school students, particularly high school, and how far many will go to fit in, to be accepted and the lengths some are driven to by bullying and by being social outcasts.

As humans, we have a natural tendency to want to be accepted, particularly by our peers, but there are often times when the individual must stand up and say "I WILL or WILL NOT do (fill in the blank) because it is right or what I think or believe."

I am realizing as of late just how much strength and courage it takes to be an original, to swim upstream when everyone else is "going with the flow."

Get in the habit of being an original before you get older, it may be difficult now, but it is much harder to reclaim it later when you have created a life out of conformity.

Once you loose you voice it is even harder to find it again as I have recently become aware.

Rocky Horror Memories

I am so amazed with Ryan Murphy's show "Glee." Every time I think he has done something that is going to be impossible to surpass, he surprises me. My first amazement was his "The Power of Madonna" show and then he blew me away with his Lady Gaga "Theatricality" episode. I was watching this weeks episode from last night and good luck topping tonight's.

Now I will admit freely that part of the difficulty Ryan's going to have is he hit a topic close to my heart and just completely full of memories; The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The first time I went to see Rocky Horror, I didn't care for it; the audience was constantly screaming, I couldn't hear half the story or the numbers, people were throwing stuff and what I could make out of it did not make ANY sense to me, I never expected to go back.

(Mom and Dad, you may not want to read this as you are going to learn some things you probably did not know and ignorance may just be bliss...)

Sometime around late 1979 to early 1980 I was hanging out with a group of friends and they decided that they wanted to go and I was not very enthusiastic about it.

At this time in my life I was coming to grasp with just what my differences meant in my world of the time, social outcast (or pariah), what was left of my home life falling apart and my beginning to become aware that "I" had no say in any aspect of my home life and I had tended to start spending as little time at home as possible.

I went to the Varsity Theater at 6610 Delmar Blvd in University City and stood in line with a collection of punks, glams and costumed characters waiting around smoking everything from Marlboros to Jakarta Cloves and a few things that are still not legal in most towns. What should I have expected for a movie that only runs on Friday and Saturday nights starting at midnight?

At the Varsity, Rocky Horror always started with a cartoon I cannot remember, the video intro to Meatloaf's "You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth" followed by "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" and finally Tim Curry's "I Do the Rock." The room would go dark and a giant set of lips would begin to appear on the screen while a cast of live characters would do the "Science Fiction/Double Feature" line dance, kinda a Bob Fosse on a lazy day (I still remember all the steps and motions -- frightening).

Needless to say, by the end of the evening I was hooked. I really got into what was going on and made a collection of new friends and acquaintances that did something no one else in my life had until that time, like and accept me for me, not what they wanted me to be.

As I said, things at home were not going well and the Psychiatrist my family had me going to creeped me out completely so I was not getting any "therapy" there. Rocky Horror became my new therapy. I could go every Friday and Saturday night, let my hair down, be myself, enjoy everything and release the last week's frustration and anxiety.

Very quickly I became friends with and later joined the "cast" as Riff Raff, the Butler/Handyman. I spent time and what little money I had at the time to buy a tailcoat and made a hunchback out of an old military backpack I had which also came in handy for the additional props one takes to Rocky Horror; rice, newspaper, water pistol, lighter, rubber gloves, noise-maker, toilet paper, toast, party hat, bell, cards and hot dogs.

I made such an effort to go EVERY week, I rode my bike about 10 miles each way on many occasions, I even "borrowed" my parents car once in a while to get there. I remember fighting with my parents about going to that "cult" film and trying, in vain, to explain that this was not the Moonies but a regular group of people who return week after week.

I will never forget one night on the way home with a group of friends when I made the fateful decision to be the last person dropped off and we got pulled over for having a headlight out. I had the pleasure of being carted off to the local police station, in full costume and makeup, then transported to Juvenile Detention for being out after curfew and I enjoyed sitting in a holding cell till around 9 or 10 the next morning before my step-mom came to pick me up.

As the years went on, I would continue going to Rocky in cities all over the country and recently decided to finish the last 12 theater viewings to make 1000 shows (I don't count video and DVD viewings, not nearly as much fun). Likely I will finish this off at the Nuart Theatre in West Los Angeles.

For me, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" has been one of those threads that has joined all the periods of my life through the years. I have met people that have amazed me in their variety and joy, all brought together by a film about a cross-dressing mad scientist, his creation and the innocent young couple who stumbles across an intergalactic party, set to fun music that has kept it's joy for 35 years.

So Ryan, I salute you for your comment about why Rocky Horror spoke to me and all those like me:

“It [Rocky Horror] was for outcasts, people on the fringes who had no place left to go but were searching for someplace, anyplace, where they felt like they belonged.”

Will Schuester

Loving an Opposing Inspiration

Earlier today, I ran into someone on Facebook that I had not heard from in ages, Joni Eareckson Tada. Now it turns out that it is really more of a fan-page as she does not actively participate from the look of it.

When I was a kid, I ran across the book "Joni" which touched me in a way that few books ever have. It is the story of a young woman, Joni Eareckson, with everything ahead of her that has a diving accident one summer and ends up a quadriplegic and her coming to grips with that and the skills she found after-wards. I was so impressed with her artwork that I used to own a piece many years ago.

I had the pleasure of meeting her in 1981 during my great Southern California adventure that I have written about in the past.

One of the things that surprised me was the near immediate response that I received from several friends that were shocked that I would "Like" her since she is a signer on the Manhattan Declaration, a call for assorted Christian members to not comply with laws against their religious beliefs in areas like abortion and same-sex marriage. I believe that I had heard about it on the news, but I did not pay it any heed, why should I?

One of the areas that the Christian Right has never understood is that a law saying such things may happen do not require you to partake in them. I have always found it somewhat laughable to listen to people who act as if legalizing same-sex marriage means straight men are going to be required to do so or that Roe v. Wade is going to force women to have abortions.

We seem to have developed a culture in this country where if someone disagrees on any one subject, especially a hot button topic, that we are supposed to shun them and disavow any knowledge, friendship or support. I will not do it.

I have found Joni to be a shining star in my life who made me rethink many things in my life over the years and a pillar of strength when I have had tough times, no matter how bad, I still have functional arms and legs.

One of the pieces of the book I have always remembered was a place where Joni's power-wheelchair tipped over in a parking lot and she scraped her face quite badly. Her reply was something like; "why my face, the only place I can feel?" I have had days like that where it was like why this one thing when it was so important, at least in that moment.

I may not agree with everything she thinks and may even be diametrically opposed in some, but that will never take away from the respect I have for her in so many other areas of her life.

Many of the friends that responded badly felt that I had betrayed them, I would say that I have proven my worthiness as a friend in that I will stand by them when they do something I disagree with, it will take more than one thing to get rid of me.

I would say that it is more Christian to show love and compassion for someone against you on some issue than many self-proclaimed Christians offer to those who differ from them. It is easy to love someone who is always with you, but it takes a bit of work to get beyond some disagreement and still be there for them. I believe Jesus commented on this when he talked about loving ones enemies.

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To Joni,

My heartfelt appreciation for your story, your beautiful artwork and for making a young man feel welcome when the opportunity presented itself nearly 30 years ago.

My prayers and hopes, along with Reiki healing energy, to help you get through this troubling time with your recent diagnosis.

Shanti,

Robert

Wake Up! Interview

Only 2 Questions from Freedom

William Shakespeare wrote "This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." What an amazing idea and such a shame that most of us cannot or will not.

In my practice as a Life Coach one of the first things we delve into usually is "what do YOU want?" I am very often amazed with just how much of what I get back is negative wants, no debt, not my current job, to lose ten pounds.

When I restate the question and ask for what they want, I keep getting the same types of responses. It seems that we, as humans, have become quite adept at defining our world by what is wrong with it, what we want to change about it.

To truly know yourself, little less to use the Law of Attraction (LoA), you have to know what it is you actually want, even if only in generalities to start with. As sad as that might sound, the other half of this query is probably THE most important question in all creation: "Who are YOU?"

As a Life Coach (and often as a Spiritual Teacher) this becomes a place to start working with my clients since they usually want to make change, but without knowing what one actually wants what do you change and into what?

I suspect a lot of the difficulty comes from our ingrained human need to be accepted and we have been acclimated to the idea that anything out of the "norm" will make us into an outcast. We have a natural want to be liked and wanted and most of the decisions we make in this life is about "looking good."

The largest part of my practice truly comes down to helping people become happy in and with their lives. So we have to start with figuring out who and/or what we are and then what it is we want. To know these alone will put you ahead of the vast majority of your fellow residents on this planet.

As much as we want to be liked and accepted, I find that the VAST majority of people, in the long run, are much more attracted to the real you versus the you that you have become to appease others. Those who do not are most often threatened by your strength to be real and their fear of following your example.

It reminds me of something that happened to me several years ago. I had been on General Relief and out of work for a bit. I had a collection of friends and acquaintances that I had been hanging out with pretty regularly. When I found a job and was no longer always available, most of those people parted company and some were extremely nasty about how they went about it.

The issue was not something I had done, I later found out, but the fact that they viewed me as trying to be better than them, not something I had even considered.

Once you get to know who you are and what you want, presuming it means something to you, you are going to want to pursue that person and as that person brings joy into your life you are not going to be willing to create falsehoods to pretend to be something else.

So to finish off the quote we started from, once you are true to who and what you are, you cannot help but be the true with all those in your life. Imagine the simple freedom you can attain by just being who you already are, if you will just let yourself!

The Beginnings of Recovery

11:00

OK, so something is up... The Universe is conspiring something and I find I am looking forward to seeing what.

I woke up and decided to wear my Buddha shirt to my breakfast with K and R. Afterward I had planned to go over to the Grind or Library and do some writing. During breakfast I asked R what he was doing today and what route he was planning to take. On a spur of the moment decision I decided to go to Lake Shrine. I LOVE it here!

SoCal in February and I could actually get away with shorts and a T-shirt but I am dressed a bit more appropriately. Am I slipping into respectability?!?

Something has been weighing on my heart for a while and I have been in such a funk and verging on depression. I think I will spend the day relaxing and meditating to see what it is I am missing.

I have chosen a great spot to start with, I'm on the landing between the windmill and the waterfall (I never noticed it before). One of the swans just scared the daylights out of me... I suddenly had him(?) swim by and start flapping his wings like crazy, really changed the mood suddenly, but he seems to have settled down for now.

Just being here makes me feel better, I am not exactly peaceful within but I can feel the peace without and may be able to take some of it home. I miss peace at hime. Maybe I can find what it is that I am missing there, it has gone from sanctuary to something else but I can still feel its potential to be otherwise.

There is a turtle that keeps swimming by, almost as if he's keeping an eye out for me and making sure I am OK.

Just taking the day here will at least charge my batteries a bit, they are nearly empty. I have been so disconnected and just drifting on the currents of my life. I feel like I have been trying to steer currents to a destination of my choosing but I forgot or lost my rudder... I will remedy that!

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17:50 aka 5:50 PM

I took a short break from Lake Shrine at noon to make a Communicator call for my Landmark Series, it was the shortest call I have done so far, but it seemed pretty good. I went back in and walked around the lake and stopped in the chapel to meditate for a while.

While I was meditating, a gentleman who had been meditating in the front of the room got up to leave and I could not help but giggle a bit. He was wearing a leather motorcycle outfit and trying SO hard to be quiet and not disturb others, but the harder he tried the noisier he was.

I took some nice photos of the area and will put them on Facebook when I get home.

I finally left about 2:00 and while grabbing some lunch, had an amazing conversation with my Dad that lasted almost 90 minutes. It was unlike anything we have had in the past, no judgments on either side, just two people having a conversation about whatever came up. Those who read my blog entries are likely aware of the difficulties I have had in the past with my dad, not today.

I stopped of at 212 Pier, probably one of the COOLEST coffee houses I have ever been to, to type up and finish this entry, I am beginning to think I may have picked up a bit of a sunburn today, I have that radient heat feeling you get with an minor burn. Oh well, if that is the cost of such an amazing day, COOL!!!!

I am feeling better than I have in months, I may just be about ready for my meeting at work on Thursday and the repercussions in 60 days. Viva le Spiritgeek!

Note:
This entry was cross-posted to both the Spiritgeek Blog and the Personal Journal.

The 2 Best and Worst Things for Your Sex Life

If I had known that it was that easy to get your attention, I would have started writing about sex ages ago... ;-)

I have been thinking about sex a fair amount lately. Partially since my dance card has been so empty, but partially because I really haven't found what I'm looking for. Let me explain...

I recently discovered the two greatest things that happen to your sex life (no, it is not a little purple pill or topical ointment).

1. Finding someone on the same "frequency"
   
   For those who have never experienced this, boy are you in for a pleasant surprise...
   
   The physical act of sex is immensely pleasurable and all, but the first time you meet someone that you are able to connect with on a higher level, a compatible vibe, a harmonic spiritual frequency, you'll know when it happens.
   
   In my practice I have had many people who have wondered what I was talking about until they experience it.
   
   It is because this seems to be rarer that I realized that I no longer judge people that get labeled as promiscuous (my favorite quote on this goes like this... Promiscuous is anyone getting laid more than you.).
   
   
2. Finding the above is not just a single individual
   
   As much as I am a romantic at heart and am searching for the one that I wish to share the rest of my life with who feels the same way about me, I eventually realized the was not much point in being a depressed involuntary celibate.
   
   I have been fortunate to meet a few people that I could connect with in this way. Not only have I apparently been very lucky, but it opened my mind to the fact that there may be one soul-mate, but many soul-friends and some of them want it to be friends-with-benefits.

We, as humans, seem to be instinctively aware of something greater than our daily existences and while some are just looking for pleasure in the short term, I have begun to wonder if many people either have not been so fortunate or were once and are trying to recapture the high, kinda like drugs, as much as one may seek to numb the pain, the subsequent highs never quite match the original.

Many of the teachers would likely comment that this was due to looking in the wrong place, hunting pretty faces and nice bodies when what you are actually looking for is a favorable and harmonic soul. This would also explain why so many of us fall in love with someone completely outside what we thought we were looking for.

In the gay community of Los Angeles in general and West Hollywood in particular, the sexual culture seems to be to sift people by sex and if you find someone remotely harmonic, date them after the fact. Fine, but not something I am personally comfortable with for reasons that are about to become clear.

Now the other side of the coin, the two worst things for your sex life:

1. Finding someone on the same "frequency"
   
   
2. Finding the above is not just a single individual

So how can they be both the best and the worst? It is because once you taste something better, the old stuff just doesn't really cut it any more, it pales so much in comparison that it makes the other seem like a waste of time. It ceases to be satisfying. BUMMER!!!!!

Some would say that it is growing up; to which I say, "Do I have to?!?"

It makes me think of the line from the New Testament;

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11 (KJV)
There are times that I would like to tell the Apostle Paul where to stick it...

Politics, Religion and I – pt 1

This blog is not really about politics, but in today's world, with religion and politics becoming more and more intertwined; I spend a lot of time discussing politics with clients, students and practitioners. I am always reminded of the following line:

When religion and politics ride in the same cart, the whirlwind follows.

Rev. Mother Romallo
"Dune" by Frank Herbert

So lets get into it and see what we can make of things...

First of all, I am neither a Republican or a Democrat, I am what George Carlin used to refer to as a free thinker. I find out as much as I can about the issues and/or the candidates and then make my own decisions.

I will listen to the corporate media in this country for their perspective, but I am quite aware of the fact that they tend to slant their presentations and their coverage based upon their own needs, read financial. I have no doubts that the media in America has a vested interest in politics for both access and financial reasons.

The access can be many things, but one that I became aware of in 2001 was from several friends at Disney who said that the ABC News division had been made aware that if they presented stories that were not in the interest or perspective of the Bush administration, they would find access restricted. What does that mean? Two quick examples...

1. Every media outlet, supposedly, has members in the White House Press Core. While the administration would not evict a reporter from a network or outlet, they may never be called upon to ask questions during a press conference or just very late into it.
   


2. We all see those lovely interviews on Sunday morning and other times with the big players in Washington. What does a network do when they can only get 2^nd or 3^rd string interview?

I think the part of this that bothered me the most was that I have always been a firm believer in the concept of a free press and this was a slap in that ideal's face. It became even more frightening to me after September 11, 2001 and the things that happened in Washington and the media afterwards.

The Republican fall from grace

I was raised in a Southern Baptist Republican home. I was taught many things that have stayed with me until this day and in many ways find myself agreeing with many policies of "conservative" politics. Now before you freak out about this, understand that when I speak of "conservative Politics" I am referring to it as it was by Barry Goldwater, the father of conservatism.

This form of conservatism involved the concepts of self-responsibility and government staying outside of the privacy and sanctity of the home. Funny, the neo-conservatives of today would classify Goldwater as a left-leaning liberal by their current stances.

For me, the Republican Party started to fall out of favor during the Reagan/Bush administration. I became quite aware that many of my friends were getting ill with GRID, as AIDS was called at the time, and the administration did not care. The people getting this strange illness were homosexuals, drug addicts and immigrants; people the Ronald Reagan didn't count as part of his America.

I always found it a touch ironic that he later cut the funding for Alzheimer's disease and the same disease would be a substantial player in his own later life and death. There was a joke (?) that went around for a while that went something like: He forgot 100,000 Americans during his presidency and later forgot everyone else as well. A touch crass, but many people still hold strong feelings about the lack of care by the "Compassionate Conservatives" of the time.

During the Clinton Presidency, the Republican Party continued to show its true colors by spending years and millions trying to remove Clinton from office. The looked into and screamed about every appearance of impropriety. Basically they came across, to me at least, as a bunch of spoiled children that were unhappy they did not get their way.

Later, as a nation, we were told that when President Clinton wanted to do something about Osama bin Laden, that there was nothing to it and all he was trying to do was divert attention from the Monica Lewinsky scandal that was going full force at the time, August 1998. Three years later we would find that the target had been valid.

By the time the current administration came into power, sic, I had pretty much lost all respect for the party as a whole, but I also realized that the party has been co opted by two differing factions with completely different goals, one though was more than willing to manipulate the other. These two opposing forces that seem to have united are the Religious Right and the Corporate Elite, for lack of a better name.

The Religious Right has a morality that is based upon its belief structure and the only aspect of it that gets to me is their attempts to encode these beliefs into the law of the land. I support the privilege to live as one chooses, but forcing others to abide by it is just wrong. Sadly, these people tend to believe that morality is about rules and regulations; if this is the case, then lawyers are the most moral individuals out there.

The other group that has seized power in today's Republican Party is the Corporations and "Special Interests." Now I have no problem with business making its voice heard, but it has been a serious mistake to allow Corporate culture all the rights and privileges of the citizenry with none of the responsibilities or moral ethics required of individuals. Corporations only do the right thing when it is profitable to them; this has been mandated by the Supreme Court in some of their decisions.

I think that the Religious Right is in for a rude awakening when they awaken to the fact that they have been used as a voting block and the "Business" side does not share their morality and will dump them as soon as they become a burden or less than profitable.

To be continued...

Time Travel; fun but not very profitable...

Last weekend, I was working on some questions and supplying answers when the following came up:

How can I let go of others’ problems instead of trying to solve them?

---

This is an issue that I have been working of for a while. So far, the best I have been able to accomplish is to become aware of it as it is happening and then I can try to let go of it and begin to regain my peace.The hard part for me is the letting it stay gone, I tend to rehash it after the fact and I can get just as frustrated, if not more so, as I would at the time, time travel can be fun and completely unprofitable.

I find that we all suffer from this to some degree. Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking may not be a big proponents of it, but to a degree, we all do it. When we think about things that have happened to us in the past, imagine or plan things in the future we are practicing time travel in at least one of it's methods.

There is an old expression that says "if you you have one foot in the past and one in the future, you completely miss the present" and the present or now is actually all that we really have. Another expression that I heard on this was "yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, today is the only cash we have."

Learning the lessons of the past is important so that we are not condemned to repeat them as Benjamin Franklin said. Becoming fixated on our past is not healthy for us. Rehashing our past failures or disappointments for the purpose of punishing ourselves is not healthy.

The same goes for the future. We can enjoy an amusement of playing out the future in our heads but thinking that we can plan every detail of the future and expecting it to follow our detailed schema is a fantasy that tends to become painful when it is not realized. As the saying goes, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."

Imagining and fantasy can actually become detrimental to our growth. In the process of fantasizing, we usually tend to tell ourselves how we would like something but define why we are not going to get it or are unworthy of it. For those who are aware of the Law of Attraction, this is a big warning sign to not allow to pass unheeded.

Within reason, all of these time travel experiments can be helpful and fun, but the fact is that if you spend all your time in any of them, you are going to miss the present and it is the present that you change into the future and the past is just a record of how you got to where you are.

Enjoy the now, be the now and live in it. I can guarantee that once you spend the majority of the time thinking about what is, this moment, the past stops being something of sorrow and the future becomes a new landscape that unfolds moment by moment before you.

Mixed Feelings...

It may be a mistake to put this online since many will find it disturbing to read and might question how I could feel this way, but after thinking about it, I wanted to be honest about things.

Many years ago, I was watching Joyce Meyer when she commented that people in the public eye only show their good side. I decided that if I ever was in the position that people wanted to know me, they would know all of me and that includes things like this and these feelings, to only show the nice and pleasant side would make me a hypocrite in the highest manner and I don't want that.

---

I was driving earlier today when I heard about the passing of Jerry Falwell this morning. I must admit that it has really made me pause as I have REALLY disliked this man for over 20 years.

When I first came out to California in 1981 and was in a religious half-way house off Hollywood Blvd, he was one of the many people we were allowed to watch on television, only the local TBN (Trinity Broadcasting) and Dr euGene Scott on whatever station he was on at the time.

I became a fan of Scott when the infamous "Amazing Grace" scandal took place and Falwell was one of the many ministers that blasted Scott for not being able to sing worth a darn. I always got the feeling that Falwell was a stick in the mud and a few years later became convinced that my original opinion had been correct. Around late 1983 to early 1984, the AIDS epidemic was taking hold and Falwell in his usually tactless fashion stood in his pulpit and declared AIDS to be "God's judgement on homosexuality" while claiming it was due to Gay people's flaunting the will of God. Two of my personal favorites that are attributed to him are:

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh's charioteers.

After he said such things, I became part of the collection of people who would request his information and then stuff it full of junk mail or paper shreds and send it back to him so that he would have to pay the postage. It must have worked since not long after, he stopped sending postage paid envelopes.

My first car had a bumper sticker on it that read:
The Moral Majority
is neither
I have been trying to think of something nice to say since I have always felt you should say something kind of the dead and the only thing I can think of is that he died quickly and didn't linger.

As much as I feel for his family and those who will miss him, I find it nearly impossible to find any sorrow for him. The fact is that he made his bed of hatred and will spend some time dealing with the repercussions that will have upon his soul and its karmas. It is apparent to me that I have been infected with his hatred and will have to work on that and make sure that I never fall into the trap of it that he seems to have.

As much as this bothers me to write this, I find it amazing to know that I really have that much animosity towards him. I would never have wished him harm, but that doesn't mean I'm going to miss him in the slightest. I heard a little while ago that former President Jimmy Carter once said of Jerry Falwell that "he could, in a most Christian manner, go to hell." Jimmy Carter is such a kind man that it really tells you what kind of man this must have been to elicit such a comment. The sickening part is that in the name of "political correctness" everyone will be saying such nice things about someone that many despised so heavily.

The saddest part is that this man had the opportunity to lead many souls to God and instead, though I'm sure he would have thought otherwise, he damaged many and I know a few that he and those like him have basically killed with their hatred and closed-mindedness, if there is anything that I am sad about, these lost chances would be it.

A Restoration of Faith...

I just finished breakfast and was thinking about last night. For those who are not familiar, I work for a small car service in Los Angeles as a driver and though we don't do much in the way of "industry" business, we do some directly and via "farm outs" from other companies, going to the Spirit Awards.

Yesterday, I spent the day on one such farm out. I went to one of the Hotels on West Hollywood to pick up someone I had never heard of, a "Suzanne Davis" (not really, but it was something similar, we must protect the innocent). I called up to let them know that I was downstairs and waiting, to which I was told they were running a bit behind and would be down in about 30 minutes. Something about that voice sounded familiar, hmmm.....

About 30 minutes later, a young couple came down and came over to my car, God, they sure looked familiar. I asked, "Ms. Davis?" and she smiled and said "yes" and they got into my car. As they got in, Ms Davis said "Hi, my name is Neve and this is my brother Christian."


We drove to Santa Monica Beach where a collection of large white tents had been set up and I dropped them off and found a parking spot a short distance away. As I got out of the car, I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a few years as well as received an invite to lunch from one of our other drivers at the event.

I'm not going to go into exhaustive details on the day and everything that happened, but after the end of the show and the after party at the Shutters Hotel, we were joined by Alan Cumming and his partner Grant Shaffer. Alan had helped produce and acted in "Sweet Land", which won the Best First Feature award.

When we left the party, we went back to the hotel in West Hollywood so Neve could get something a little warmer to wear. They decided to grab some dinner in the restaurant and Christian came out to move his car, a good idea in West Hollywood with the "Parking Nazis".

While he was out, we chatted for a bit and I just knew that I knew him from somewhere. I mean, he's an actor, so I'm sure I've seen him before but this was something more, either it's on a personal level or something he was in that I truly loved. I had felt familiar since I picked them up and it was REALLY starting to get under my skin and bug me.

I called a friend and asked her to help me since she had a computer handy with an Internet connection. It didn't take long for me to feel like a complete ass. It turns out that Christian was in one of my favorite gay films of all time, "Trick".

It's the story of a young musical theatre writer who meets a gogo-boy and spends the rest of the night looking for a place to trick (catch a quickie). Needless to say, they don't have an easy time of it, between bitchy drag queens, broken hearted piano bar singers and a best friend who is completely clueless and self absorbed (played beautifully by Tori Spelling). Definitely worth seeing in my personal opinion.

I really wish I had gotten an opportunity to tell Christian just how much that film has meant to me over the years and that it will always hold a special place in my heart.

As a driver in Los Angeles, you meet a lot of people, some rich and famous and some just regular people who need to get somewhere. Most are decent people who couldn't care less. Of those who are famous or quite wealthy, they tend to be a bit wrapped up in their own little worlds and a bit dismissive of those they perceive to be their inferiors, like anyone not worth what they are or outside their circle of "special People". It's not just actors in this town, but it kind of like high school with all it's little cliques and such.

The funny thing is it kind of reminds me of when I lived in Long Beach many years ago. A friend and I would go to this club full of snotty, ego-centric pretty boys who wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire in the parking lot. The funny part was that when we would go to the bath-house and I would run into the same little stinkers who would practically drag me into their rooms to make out, fun if slightly bewildering, it was the early 80's.

When I have found myself past the guard gates, people assume that you belong there and accept you as an equal. If they only knew...

This was not an issue of any kind for me yesterday with the Campbells and Mr. Cumming and his partner, they were all so very nice and pleasant and made me feel glad to be spending the evening with them. If I were to try to describe the situation from a movie, I would guess that "54" would have the right scene, in the New Jersey coffee house on Christmas day, watch it and see what I mean.

After seeing so much of the vile and nasty behavior that many people do toward each other in the name of greed, selfishness and ego, it was an amazing breath of fresh air to spend an evening with such nice, real and authentic people that it truly helped to restore my faith that under all our silly nastiness as people, we can still be civil human beings and some of the best can still be famous at the same time.

Connectedness and Why I do this...

I am amazingly tired today for some reason. I got plenty of sleep and thought it was pretty sound, I didn't wake up or anything, but today, I am completely wiped, so I will make this pretty short and sweet. It was meant to be a thought anyhow.

Yesterday, I was driving to LAX and say a bumper-sticker that made me think... It said, "Remember you are unique, just like everyone else". Just slightly profound.

The main thing that I wanted to make a note of was something I was thinking about after watching something this morning. I finally found a copy of "Joan of Arcadia Season 2" and have started watching them.

I'm just on episode 5, where the school is having elections for Student Body President, etal. Joan starts helping the geeky guy that fired her in first season from the Yearbook staff. He is running and you know that a guy who has a 40+ page "Mission Statement" is doomed to failure when up against the Drama Club princess and the most popular as well as hottest jock in school.

Someone in the "hot jock" camp finds out that geek-boy's father is in prison and makes sure that everyone is aware of it, so Joan decides to go after a little dirt of her own and while following him around school, catches him with the biggest drug dealer in school. But the two are not together for the sale of illicit substances, it turns out, but to have a private moment together and a quick kiss, they are a couple? Joan and her friend manage to catch this kiss on a cellphone much to the terror of the guys.

The plan goes through a few permutations on how to disseminate this tidbit of information, but at the last moment, Joan realizes it would be wrong and refuses to use the information.

Later that evening, Joan and her mother are talking about things and this all comes out to which Joan comments on how every time she thought about the guy, all she saw was his fear and terror and how it made her remember that on some level we are all connected and wonder why it is so difficult to remember this fact.

We call ourselves Christians (to be Christ-like), Muslim (one who submits) and a whole host of other traditions, religions and beliefs. With all these paths and ways of reaching God, why do we forget the goal so often and show the deepest sides of our spiritual depravity, it's no wonder that Christians are of the belief that mankind is inherently evil and no good can be found within him.

I've commented on it before, but once again I will state that all the religions have a common belief in the idea that everyone is an eternal spiritual entity that is only inhabiting this physical form for a short time and continues on after death in one way or another. Shame we can't remember this simple fact and make it our starting point, just imagine how our view of the world would change and how we relate to each other.

I have spent the majority of the last few years trying to shift my perspective from the common source, focused on "me" as the center of the universe, to one of relating to EVERYTHING from a view of spirit that is just visiting and have watched the world make some wondrous changes around me. I am nowhere near being able to stay in that state of mind all the time, but it gets longer every time I stumble.

How would your life change if you viewed everything in your life from the perspective of your soul's entertaining drama and not as the reality we take it to be? When we change this view, the world changes with you and you find that what was SOOO difficult earlier looks more like what it says in the Bible about the time coming when people will see the Devil for what he truly is and ask "is it one such as this that caused the kingdoms to tremble?"

Judeo/Christian Paradigms: Karma vs Salvation pt 1

As a Southern Baptist during my youth, I was taught that the Bible was the un-erring word of God and I must accept all that it has to say as literal truth. I always found that to be a bit problematic, though until many years later, I didn't know why.

One of the things that always bothered me as a youngster was the name "Jesus Christ". The problem for me was the word Christ as part of Jesus' name. Christ (Christos) is the Greek word for the Hebrew word Messiah and both actually mean "the Anointed One." So saying "Jesus Christ" is the same as saying "Jesus the Anointed One", in other words, it is a title, not a proper name.

So what does this have to do with interpretation of the Old and New Testaments?

The Old testament is made up of several sections which in Hebrew are referred to as the "Tanakh" which is an anagram for:

• Torah - Instruction
• Nevi'im - The Prophets
• Kh'tuvim - The Writings

The Torah consists of the first 5 books in the Christian Old Testament; Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. In Genesis, which basically means"the beginnings", we have the story of the creation of the planet and all life, including humans, the fall of man and then we basically start the following of the line that would eventually meet Abraham and grow into the nation of Israel.

(As far as the two creations go, that's a piece unto itself, so we are not really going to get into it here but save it for a future entry.) We are going to catch up with the story in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve are having a happy existence where the "serpent" comes to temp "The woman" (she's not named Eve till after they are expelled from the garden) into going against the will of God, or so it is usually stated. Now what God had actually said was:

And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Genesis 2:16-17 (KJV)

This was said to Adam before Eve was even created, so she must have gotten it second-hand from Adam which might explain her misstatements during the "temptation". After Eve's creation and a mention of the idea of marriage, defined as two becoming as one, the second chapter ends with a very important statement:

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:25 (KJV)

If this has you snickering about the fact they were naked, you might find the Beavis & Butt-Head website more to your liking (but I digress). Most people don't think about this little blurb here and the later reference but Moses [the traditional author] makes a point of inserting these statements in the story and I am sure they are there for a reason.

Chapter 3 starts with the serpent "tempting" Eve. I always wondered where she got the added "instruction" that to touch the fruit was dangerous. Was "touching" forbidden by God or was Adam trying to be helpful and add to what God said with , I'm sure, the best of intentions.

Immediately after they have both eaten, we have the following:

And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

Genesis 3:7 (KJV)

So, what we have is Moses making a point of telling us that they were naked and unashamed immediately before succumbing to temptation and knowing of their nakedness immediately afterwards and were ashamed enough that they made aprons for themselves. Why?

Genesis, the Beginning, tells us something very important here. The apparent answer is that in eating of the "Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil" caused them to become body conscious and loose sight of their true selves and natures as spiritual beings. Some would say they lost their innocence and mean that they now knew evil, but if you look at the other definitions for innocence, you get the following from the "The American Heritage® Dictionary":

• Freedom from guile, cunning, or deceit; simplicity or artlessness.
• Lack of worldliness or sophistication; naiveté.
• Lack of knowledge or understanding; ignorance.

What would you call it when one goes from a state of spiritual purity, inhabiting a physical form but not being overrun by it and going to the opposite end of the spectrum where one forgets their spiritual nature and is completely deluded by the physical world, I would actually view it as entering into innocence in a way, since they were now naive and ignorant of their true state.

So, what about God's statement that when they eat of the tree, that day, they would surely die? The serpent rebuffs it and says:

For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

Genesis 3:5 (KJV)

Now for as much as we usually make it out that the serpent misled Eve, other than the bit about being like "gods" which is in question (though God seems to think so in Genesis 3:22), the fact is that their eyes were opened, they did know good and evil. Obviously they did not die in the usual sense so if God was correct, then some other death must be the subject. With this, I find the death of their awareness of their true natures to be what died and as we will get into in a moment, the becoming attached to the body and the transitory things of creation causing death to the physical body.

This is really interesting in that the first thing they became was completely bodily conscious to the exclusion of their previous awareness of their natures to the extent that shame sets in immediately to cover themselves. They were so absorbed in this mental state that when God comes to the garden to visit, they hide themselves. When they admit this new understanding to God, the question is immediately asked, "Who told thee that thou wast naked?"

We follow this with Adam blaming his "helpmate" who passes the blame on to the serpent who gets cursed.

It is now that the beginning of the paradigm that is continued throughout the Tanakh and brought into the law of Moses, that of the world of Karma, Maya, the definition of what the world of "body consciousness" and attachment are:

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

Genesis 3:16-19 (KJV)

(I have to wonder how many children Eve had previously had while living in the garden since it sounds as if she had experienced it previously "I will greatly multiply", but that might be for another time.)

It is here that we start with life becoming defined as the function of the labours of mankind, the beginning of Karma in that the actions cause reaction and the labours produce their rewards. This is the paradigm that we see throughout the Old Testament. From this point until the New Testament we are about history of Israel and the "penalty" of action and, since we are now separated from God, the beginnings of the idea that sacrifice must be performed.

We are going to stop here, except for a couple of quick things...

And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever: Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

Genesis 3:22-24 (KJV)

Now God had said earlier that to eat of the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil" would cause death, and it seems that here we have God making sure that it would happen by keeping Adam from the "tree of life" for fear that he would become immortal which was not a good idea for physically fixated beings.

Buddha would find this of interest since he would agree with the basic premise here. His "Four Noble Truths" address this in a most direct and succinct manner:

1. Life is Suffering:
   Physical existence is made up of temporary, created items that come and go: impermanence.
2. Suffering comes from Attachment:
   It is our tendency to want to hold onto the pleasant and avoid the unpleasant that creates the pain in our existences.
3. Suffering can be Conquered:
   This condition of suffering need not be forever and can be defeated.
4. The Eight-Fold Path:
   A collection of tools and premises to use to break the cycle.

Genesis has prepared the groundwork for the First and Second Truths of the Buddha. As for the Third Truth, this is a promise that it need not stay that way forever. In the Old Testament, we start with the idea that our "fallen" state may be corrected via the concept of the sacrifice, the usage of others to "pay" for our wrongdoings.

We will continue from here and go into this paradigm of sacrifice and the ultimate sacrifice as presented in the New Testament with Jesus in part 2.

Tired and Aural

It's been a LONG day, I was up at 4:15 this morning and I have one more run tonight at 7 PM going from Beverly Hills to Torrance. I was going to go home and grab a nap, but instead, I am in West Hollywood doing some Christmas gift shopping, getting a hair cut (not sure what I'm going to do with the other 103,491).

I am sitting in a Starbucks, killing a little time and basically bored out of my mind. Can't really think of anything to do, so I thought I might just see what came out in a random typing experience. I've got iTunes playing a random selection of songs and it went from "People Who Died" to "Twilight Zone/Twilight Tone". It's a varied collection of about 130 or so songs out of a collection of 1177, at least I managed to salvage them off my iBook before the hard drive died, thank God for back-ups.

Sitting in West Hollywood and basically ignoring everything around me (that's how it looks to those around at least) is kind of an interesting experiment in human watching. I'm sitting near where they put the drinks after they are ready, so I get to see just about everyone and hear what, if anything, they say. I've been here about an hour or so, not one conversation has caught my interest. What do I expect on an overcast, intermittently rainy day in December?

I stopped at the Bodhi Tree and stumbled across a book for my collection, Sybil Leek's "Tomorrow's Headline Today" which is on Mundane (predictive) Astrology. I have been a fan of Ms. Leek for many years since I read her most famous book "Diary of a Witch". Little by little, I'm collecting all of her published works, she has written so much in such a forward way that it's not that different from getting the collected works of, say, Paramahansa Yogananda (though I suppose his students wouldn't appreciate the comparison, not my problem...).

On days like today, when I'm a touch out of sorts with time on my hands, I find an excellent time to people watch, but it's just too cold to sit outside and since we are off daylight savings time, it's dark already. I'm exploring a technique that I learned in High School in looking at Auras. I've been doing this most of the day and most of them have been fairly sickly looking. Sad!

I finished writing the previous entry "By Their Fruits" earlier at a Starbucks in Santa Monica and started looking there. On top of being tired, I'm having one of those days when my personal barriers are slipping away, or are down a bit to say the least.

I have some friends who want me to say I am psychic, not likely, as I don't think of my gifts as such, empathic and "touched" maybe, but to me, psychic is someone who is able to be always on if they so choose. I just know things when I have need of them. When I was young, it got me into a lot of trouble as saying something I shouldn't know freaked people out. I learned that differences were not welcome and I spent a long time learning to close those things away. Now I am having to work VERY hard to reclaim this parts of my life.

I gave some friends tarot readings a while back and while I doubt myself so much, I was told that I was right on target. They were happy, I was left feeling buzzed and wondering why I can't believe what everyone else seems to be aware of. We have such a difficult time believing those things about us of a positive nature and yet we can believe the "bad" things instantaneously, I wonder if as a planet we are practicing a form of psychic abuse...

Back to what I was saying earlier, I was depressed by the general "ick" of most of the people I watched earlier. When my barriers drop, it means I feel for them like a mother hen who knows her chicks are going to be on dinner plates eventually, but still wants the best for them anyhow. A questionable metaphor? Maybe, but until people start to wake up a bit, it's about the way the majority of people make me feel sometimes. Not that I'm pessimistic about them or superior to them, just saddened that they are adrift on the sea of life and without a rudder it would seem. This would bum me out completely if it were not for the fact that I know we are all learning at our own paces and most of us are living out the choices we made before we came into this life. Still hurts to watch it sometimes...

On a lighter note, this isn't actually meant to be as depressing as it sounds. I can always go into my "space" and experience the reality of what's going on in creation and know that if God finds it worthwhile, I might just need to look a bit deeper and see that as well.

Searching for the "silver lining" on everything is one of the first things one can do to change their perspective of the world they live in. If we view it as a bummer and get depressed by it, we will attract more of the like into our lives, but if we can find the alternative, we raise that vibration to a place where we attract "happier" experiences, even if it's just in how we look at things.

I remember several years ago, when I was on some nasty medications for about a year. Life was miserable in ways that I will spare you the details of, but after a few months of it, I started to get real down because of the appearances of my life. I happened to stumble upon a class where one of the people speaking was talking about God in the form of Krishna and was saying that when we feel like absolute crap, thank God. Needless to say, at the time I thought he was nuts and completely full of it. When I actually sat down one particularly tough day and said "God, I don't know what I did to deserve this condition, but by your mercy, I am only having to deal with this much of it instead of what I probably deserve." After a while, when I went from BS'ing myself about it and actually meant it, I actually ended up feeling better than I had in weeks, if not months.

Like I have written before, it's perspective and what we attract by what we focus on. Try it sometime.

Pride and Gay Pride pt 2 [Essay]

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that there are basically 3 types of homosexuals:

1. Biological
2. Selective
3. Psychological
   

Biological homosexuals came into the world the way that they are. Be it God or genetics, they were decided from day one what they would grow into.

Selective homosexuals are people who have honestly chosen to be Gay. I know many women who have followed this path after horrid relations with men where they were raped, molested, abused, etc. I have met very few men that seem to fall into this category.

Psychological homosexuals are living in a mistaken state. People in this state usually grew up being called such things as "mamma's boy," "queer," "girlie boy" and such and after a time, they began to believe it, hence they never find true happiness since they are accidentally living a lie. These are the people who programs like Exodus, amongst others, get their claimed successes. Though, like the founders of Exodus, some of their success has not lasted due to the fact the an unhappy person can make himself do nearly anything for a while, just like gay men who marry women and later come out.

I think I am from the first category, biological.

I always sensed that I was different, but didn't know exactly how until I was about six or seven years old. About that time, a group of friends and I were playing in a local park when we came across a box of Playboys. Being young boys, we immediately took them off to someplace to inspect the booty, a tree house.

I saw the pictures of the naked women and thought most of them were quite pretty, but that was all. My friends were completely enamored and it was obvious that they found it much more interesting than I did. I really did read the jokes page and part of some interview and maybe a bit of Xaviera Hollander's column, I remember the lipstick in the shape of a penis as well as the title "The Happy Hooker".

I didn't think that much about it at the time, as it wasn't the first time that I had reacted to something differently than my friends.

A few months later, we were in the same park and we found another box of magazines, only this time, there were some Hustler and other more graphic magazines than Playboy.

I was looking through a Hustler and saw a spread of a couple all done up in silver lamé in various poses and it was the first time I ever saw a naked man with an erection. Immediately, I knew what my friends had been going on about the last time we had found these and after hearing the word "faggot" thrown around, I knew it would be most prudent to keep this to myself. Peer pressure and cultural prejudices had already been planted within and were bearing fruit (pun intended).

Now is going to come a confession that I never would have expected to make, the man in the photo spread was Ron Jeremy. Now I have nothing against the man and in fact have heard that he is a totally cool dude and amazingly real, but he has NEVER been my type in any way shape or form, but he was my introduction to men en rampant.

I remember my early crushes on boys from school and I nearly failed gym a few times because I was terrified of showering after class for fear of sprouting wood. I have known many girls and women in my life, but I have never found myself sexually attracted to one.

When I was about 14 or 15, after my mother died and my dad remarried, I had a few issues with what was going on, so we entered family counseling, but I was the only one that went on a regular basis. The psychologist one day asked me if I was gay, or a homosexual. I said "No!" You see at this time, the only images of gay men I had other than kid insults were sick old men in Chicago who molested little boys and then, after killing them, buried under the house. I couldn't kill anyone, so there was no way I could be a homosexual. So when he followed the first question with an inquiry as to if I knew what a homosexual was, I had the same answer. He explained it to me and I realized that was the word that described me; as well as faggot and queer.

At one time I thought I might think I was gay since I had never slept with a woman. So, I made the decision that if the opportunity presented itself and she was someone I could care about, I'd try it. Well, it did and so did I and well (my female friends: please don't be offended or upset with me) but I could have more fun with a bowl of warm Jell-O. It was what it was, but it was quite obvious to both of us that while I could function, I wasn't going to be happy about it, even though in that moment in time, I wanted to be.

I can't help but laugh when people call it a choice. While it might be for a small minority, for most of us, we spend a fair amount of our lives kicking and screaming against this piece of self-discovery. Why would anyone "choose" to be a social pariah? I had someone tell me (actually, I've heard this on many occasions) that homosexuals are in the business of recruiting people since we cannot breed on our own as if we were a dying race, slated for extinction. Strange, even when people have had to live amazingly closeted lives and barely acknowledged it to themselves, they came across others of like orientation.

We are VERY familiar with the pains of trying to live being what we are not. We would have to be amazingly hateful people to convince others via recruitment to live a life that isn't what they were intended to be by their maker. Sure, there are some people who are selfish enough to try that, but contrary to the idea that I was taught, that mankind is inherently evil due to original sin, I see too much evidence that is not truly the case.

On September 11th, 2001 the world watched a small group of people do amazingly terrible acts in the name of God as they saw him. From the majority of the world's view this was an incredibly selfish and misguided act that would be expected from the original sin, man is evil crowd. If man truly was that way, then there would have been no heroes out of firemen and police, amongst others, to try and save anyone or thing other than their own skin. You have to be truly good at the core of your essence and being to do that kind of a job, little less after watching the aftermath. Sure, man has a tendency to be amazingly selfish in the day-to-day living of his life, but I think that is truly a learned behavior than his true nature. People consistently show their inherent goodness when it really counts. Maybe, it's time that we learned to make it the core of our day-to-day life as well...

I sometimes wonder why there is so much animosity from straight men toward gay. Maybe I am just simple-minded, but I always assumed that the problem was rooted in the nature of humans to judge, fear and hate that which they do not understand.

I remember a few years ago during the early years of the Clinton administration when he was addressing the issue of gays in the military, we won't get into what I think of the outcome ("Don't Ask, Don't Tell"). I was listening to some radio talk show and I have no idea who was being interviewed, but when asked why straight men seem to hate gay men so much, the person being interviewed said "Straight men are afraid that gay men will do to straight men what straight men have been doing to women for thousands of years." I loved that.

Earlier this evening, I was thinking about it and I had an interesting thought. It occurred to me that in nearly every culture that has such strong religious taboos are very much patriarchal societies that control property, power and inheritance through the men. Women may own some property, but the men are the ones endowed with the ability to control it. Cultural taboos and religious morality laws usually have some justifiable reason behind them and I was thinking that the union of 2 men would result in the creation of a very powerful business interest in an early culture. With 2 power yielding individuals, both able to make binding arrangements and work together collectively, you would definitely have a force to be reckoned with and that in time could quite easily become taboo for all the wrong reasons.

It's worth thinking about.

I think of it this way: most of us 'noids are so bad at loving anything other than ourselves (and some barely do that) that who are we to judge how others love. I tell people that when mankind in general learns to truly love everyone and everything, then and only then might God grant us the privilege to judge what forms it may take. Until then, we're making fools of ourselves, showing just how far from God we have become.

Pride and Gay Pride pt 1 [Essay]

Yesterday was the Christopher Street West (a.k.a. The West Hollywood Gay Pride) Parade and Festival. As usual, I went to the parade but skipped the festival itself this year. For those who have never been, it's a blast and definitely worth checking out at least once.

I could go into it's history and how it came to be, but if you are interested, they seem to do a pretty good job of recalling all that on their site.

Also as usual, I started my day with stumbling across the fundies (as I so nicely call them) a group of people who like to say they are there to love me by pounding home the idea that I am going to Hell for being gay. Well, as to that, I figure if God didn't want me to be gay, he shouldn't have made me that way. Just as heterosexuals never chose to be straight, I never chose to be gay either.

As is usual, they had the normal selection of Bible verses to quote from, though 2 come from Leviticus, they feel its fine to eat shellfish and their wives let them leave the house wearing cottons and wools and when was the last time ANY of them declared their wives unclean during her monthly visitor little less after childbirth. But though they have little to no interest in following the vast majority of rules and regulations of the book of Leviticus, they have absolutely no problem judging the guests and participants of the festival with them. People like that give Christians a bad name in my book and I find it such a shame that the majority of Christians don't do something about them.

I see the majority of these same people here every year and would have thought they might have had enough experience at the parades to at least ask some questions of the ideas and assumptions they made very clear in the conversations.

The first gentleman (I use that term loosely) would make some jack-ass statement and paint himself into a corner and instead of re-trying, he just got louder and louder. The second was more polite and we at least discussed the differences in our positions and made an effort at civility, if not courtesy. The third was as bad as the first except instead of getting loud, he would start throwing insults and really vile assumptions.

He would say that being gay meant that I was a drunkard and a lascivious sex pervert. I may have an occasional glass of wine with dinner and once in a while have a cocktail when I go out with friends, but I very rarely get plastered or even a bit tipsy, so drunkard is taking it a bit far. As far as being a sex pervert, I've been celibate (mainly) for the last 7 years. I have always been a bit old-fashioned in my dating in that I actually like knowing someone before I go to bed with them. Albeit, in West Hollywood, that makes dating a bit difficult but I don't spend much time there.

A friend had gone to the festivities with me and thought I was crazy for wasting my time in such a futile pursuit. I told him that I wasn't actually expecting any of them to become gay tolerant, little less friendly, but that you do it for the one single individual that later might actually look into the things I had said and have his heart, if not his mind, opened a bit more. Hence, why I get called a Spiritual Johnny Appleseed.

So what is being Gay? It's about being the person God made me and if that means being attracted to and loving those of the same gender as myself, so be it. For myself, Gay Pride is being just that and celebrating the diversity of God's creation by not letting simple and hateful people force me to be ashamed of something that I have little to no control over (I've decided to do a part 2 of this entry that will go into my personal history a bit on finding out about my being Gay).

To many people, being Gay is about going to bars and getting laid every day. That's a community activity that happens to most people when they come out of the closet. When you become aware that others are the same as you, that you are not a freak of nature and all alone, people have a tendency to over-compensate for the perceived loss of the experiences that most people get during adolescence. Though a hedonistic lifestyle has become a common and well publicized aspect of Gay life, these are nearly as prevalent in the heterosexual community, not a great idea for a central focus to a life beyond the crotch.

Though I am sure that many disagree with me, as far as I've been able to determine, the morality of nearly all activities is in the why, not the what. If I sleep with someone because I want to use them as a life-sized, 98.6 degree, breathing sex toy, I demean both them and myself. On the other hand, if I sleep with someone because I wish to share myself body and soul with them and they likewise with me, that's a beautiful thing and should be celebrated, not berated.