Should Religion be Abolished?

A friend of mine posted an article on his Facebook page earlier about how the self-proclaimed caliphate Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, is beheading Christian children.

Sadly the article's source was from a "Don't Tread On Me" website, so I am not sure just how accurate the "Christian" part is as these groups often marginalize the facts to make it more offensive to their audience. Groups like ISIS are usually nondiscriminatory in which infidels, anyone who doesn't believe the same way they do, they assault and kill.

Another friend who has become quite anti-religious due to behaviors like these and others in the name of the local "god" has often asked if maybe we should abolish religion in general as it seems to be the cause of so many of these atrocities in the world today.

I say no, not because I support any of the hateful and despicable things that man is capable of doing to his fellow man, but for two basic reasons:

1. The Truth of religious text and practices is still there, even when people manipulate and destroy the original intent for their own selfish and manipulative reasons.
   
   
2. The problem is not Religion, it is just the tool that is being used to justify and validate the evil in the hearts of these people. Take religion away and they will just find some other way to make such atrocities "OK" in their minds.

Survival of the original "Truth"/Message

Śhruti (श्रुति), the Sanskrit name for Scripture or Holy Texts, seems to hold on to its core Truths even when people and organizations attempt to change it for their own purposes; we find it in many traditions. 

I have spoken with several Imams that are sickened and disgusted with how the Quran and the Sunnah/Hadith are manipulated by many of their brothers to become this current cesspool of hatred and violence we have seen through much of the Middle East in recent years. Yes, the documents allow for fighting and such, but have you looked at the Old Testament and some of the things that it calls for and justifies? But these are things that I find have more to do with the cultural contexts of the places and times for which they were written and never actually intended to be the laws for eternity.

The Jewish Torah has laws and rules that are designed to explain a moral life from the perspective of the tail end of the Bronze Age, about 3500 years ago, from an Egyptian/Nomadic point of view. The Christian New Testament does the same thing from the time and culture of the Roman Empire and the Quran, and particularly the Sunnah and hadith, are the Arabian culture of the Seventh century.

On a personal observation, I have always found the Abrahamic traditions to be interesting in that they all find it necessary to deify some aspect of their founder or the founder's principles and the following prophet/teacher tends to decry the deification.

Tradition	Deified Aspect
Judaism	The Law of Moses
Christianity	The Founder/Teacher
Islam	The Culture of the Prophet

No matter how much manipulation has been done, the core Truth of the documents is still there and can be gleaned by careful study and contemplation thereof.

Religion is not the problem

If I thought for just a moment that the destruction of all the world's religious documents and the disbanding of the practices would solve the world's problems for even as little as five minutes, I would jump on the bandwagon and lead the burning parties myself. The hard reality is that it would be a waste of time and energy on all fronts.

Religion is not the cause of the problem, it is the scapegoat used to justify and proselytize one man's judgment and hatred for another while attempting to authorize it by calling it the "will of God."

If there were a way to remove religion from the equation completely, you would find no change, other than the validation used. Knowing most of man, I would suspect that gender, orientation, cultural ancestry, financial status or any number of silly ways we humans find to break ourselves up into "Us'" and "Them's".

By using Religion, the manipulators convince us that "God is on OUR side" so it is not only justified, but the right thing to do. The operative word above is "manipulators"; they are not concerned with anything but their own goals and objectives and the means are only the theater by which they project them upon the masses. If you took the "God" out of the equation, do you honestly think those who want power or control would not find another way to acquire it?

The hypocrisy of judging

When I watch television or read the news, I am so often saddened to see just what a judgmental people we have become. Sure, we have always judged one another, but as of late we seem to be seriously more vicious in our attacks.

We judge one another on a wide range of areas, race, gender, orientation, religion, financial status, education, clothing, speech, body-language, etc...

I take a lot of heat from my Christian friends (yes, I still have some, the ones that know its not personal). I am often accused of being anti-Christian, I am not. I tend to ride them tough since they are the dominant religious group in the United States. Riding Muslims hard would work if I lived in Saudi Arabia or some place that is an Islamic state, but in today's America the point would be completely missed by most.

Here is an example of one aspect of where Christianity is failing I think:


I will be the first to admit that I have some serious issues where it comes to the Westboro Baptist Church (frightening that the church's homepage is the "GodHatesFags.com" site). Surprisingly, my biggest issue with them is not their strong dislike of homosexuals or their completely tasteless tactics of protesting, but the use of their children in their protests. Hate is something that has to be taught, Denis Leary put it so well:


What chance do these children have to be anything more than their parents? I do not even want to think about the pain and anguish that one of their children will go through if they grow up and find themselves to be LGBTQ.

What does the Bible say about judging and the law

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One of the most famous quotes from the Christian Bible on this subject is the King James Version of Matthew 7:1; "Judge not, that ye be not judged", but look at what follows it.

7 Do not judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves.

2 For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you.

3 Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that is in your brother’s eye but do not become aware of and consider the beam of timber that is in your own eye?

4 Or how can you say to your brother, Let me get the tiny particle out of your eye, when there is the beam of timber in your own eye?

5 You hypocrite, first get the beam of timber out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the tiny particle out of your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:1-5 (AMP)
My experience is that this is proven true by the realization that what we dislike and hate in others, hence judge as wrong, are nothing but the reflection of what we dislike and hate within ourselves. No, I am not accusing the members of the Westboro Baptist Church of being homosexual (gay men everywhere are breathing a large sigh of relief).

Some say that we dislike and hate what we do not know and that causes fear, but I think that is more a response to our sense of lack in knowledge and experience and most people hate having fear within themselves.

People like the members of Westboro and sadly others who are just looking for justification for their distrust of anything different often use the Law of Moses and the Levitican Code as their weapon of choice.

They almost always pick and choose which parts are valid, the parts that address themselves are overlooked; their favorite foods (bacon, ham, shrimp and lobster), the availability of cheap cool clothing from Walmart (mixed threads), cheaper meats (non-Kosher), touching the skin of dead pigs (football), etc. My personal favorite is that I have yet to meet the Christian man who has the balls to put his wife out during her monthly menses.

It has become the common belief that the Law of Moses is there by God's direct intent, literally the will of God, but Jesus tells us that is not necessarily the case:

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Matthew 19:8 (KJV)
So we know that parts of the law are there by the knowing of Moses, not by God's decree, how do we determine which is which?

The answer is a few chapters away, Jesus not only tells us the basic framework for all the law , but gives us a direct key to its implementation:

35 Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying,

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Matthew 22:35-40 (KJV)
emphasis mine
If you apply the Law through the filter of Love, you will never use it as a tool of destruction against another, how would you honestly bludgeon your brother to death in the name of love?

Science vs. Religion

There has recently been a resurgence of the argument between those of a Religious bent and those who are more Secularist.  When I was a kid it was purely a Science vs. Religion argument of Evolution vs Creationism, in recent years, the moderate religionists have re-framed the argument as Evolution vs Intelligent Design.

As far as I can tell, Intelligent Design is basically Creationism expressed in such a way as not to refer to a specific religious character, the God of Abraham, Jesus and Mohammed.

This is hardly a new concept in the ongoing battle of Science vs Religion.  In the Christian world, this has been going on since the Second Century with Tertullian vs. Origen.  At some point it was decided; that which could be seen or studied would be in the realm of Science and that which could not would be the realm of Spirit and by default the Church.

As science developed from the 18th century onwards, various views developed which aimed to reconcile science with the Abrahamic creation narrative.

Wikipedia: Creationism
We could go on and on with the history of the observed conflicting with the beliefs in many cultures and religions throughout history, not really what I want to do, but Wikipedia offers a good place to start here.

A Different Perspective

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I look at this "battle" and cannot help but giggle since I see the need for one or the other to be right and the other to be wrong to be nothing more than an expression of the Ego.  What if there was a way for both to be right?

When I read Moses' creation story in Genesis I am truly impressed with just how close his history is with what Science says in the Theory of Evolution, not bad for someone who lived 3200 years ago.

Science and Religion are not really in conflict, because in fact their true subjects of study are completely different and not at odds.

Science is the study of how the Universe is put together, the laws that apparently underline those structures and how they interact with one another.  Science is the realm of actual history, what actually physically happened and how it occurred.  If you want to insert the concept of God into Science, it only would be "How he did it."

Religion is actually the study of why.  Why would a Benevolent Deity go to all this trouble, what is the point?  The historical questions that often get written about for these explanations most often are based on tribal mythology and allegorical explanation, not fact.  Now many Religionists are going to take offense at this, I have attacked the inerrancy or the infallibility of their Scripture.

So to me, and those like me, Science explores how this amazing thing we call reality is structured and put together, Religion explains the why and seeks to help me to re-engage with that higher part of myself called Spirit.

Oh no the Devil didn't

I was brought up with the idea that the Devil was out there in a spiritual war with God and that all people were the pawns in this cosmological warfare. Later I learned about how I would spend eternity in either Heaven or Hell based upon how I fared in the above battle. I also became aware that unless I turned into Linda Blair's character in "The Exorcist" that a comedic punchline of my youth was impossible, "the Devil made me do it."

Short of possession, the Devil, or any other spirit, cannot make you do anything, at best they can suggest, lure or tempt. Think about it for a moment, if you are possessed, you are not in control, so how can you be responsible for your actions, the possessor is.

The awkward fact is that we are responsible for our actions because, like it or not, conscious or not, we made the choice to do the act. This choice is why we are "damned" by our actions.

I cannot help but laugh at this idea of being damned, it is so like us to create our gods in our own image. Judgment and punishment are what we would do, so of course our gods have to do likewise.

Salvation comes from our learning of such things so we can make better choices. Grace comes from the simple idea that no matter how lost we get in the "illusion" of this reality, our true selves are unaffected, we remain a part and parcel of God's totality.

So awaken to your choices and by becoming aware, you will do better with each attempt. Just remember when you slip up, be kind to yourself, learn from it and remind yourself, "Oh no the Devil didn't."

To respect an adversary...

There are times when we really are given a glimpse into the world around us, as well as within ourselves, and get the chance to look at what it is that we respect and expect of ourselves, even when it takes you into strange places.

I recently heard about Barbara Walters' "10 Most Fascinating People of 2009" special which showed one of those apparent cultural inequalities that pop up on occasion. We hear about them, the glass ceiling for women in business, racial inequalities and similar issues, but Barbara really threw one in the face of her viewing audience.

On her special, she had an interview with Lady Gaga where there was a picture of her kissing another woman, no big issue, Madonna and Britney Spears kissed, Jessica Biel has and have you heard of Ellen DeGeneres?

I was later saddened when she interviewed Adam Lambert as the tone was completely different. Sure, at the AMAs he groped a female performer and kissed a male musician, but I've seen girls get groped and I've seen guys get kissed, why does it become raunchy and lewd when two guys kiss? They didn't seem to have a problem as far back as the 80s when we saw two guys kiss on Dynasty. Shame on you Barbara for not being even-handed in your presentation.

Sadly, not only did it really show me one of these cultural inequalities and decrease my level of respect for Barbara Walters, but it got me thinking about why I was losing that respect and exactly what I respect in others as well as myself. The big one that hit me was conviction and that's when I thought of "him".

There is a gentleman that I truly despise, for both what he says and how he says it, but I cannot help but respect him for his conviction to what he believes. The person at the center of this mental and moral dilemma is Pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church, most infamously known for his GodHatesFags.com website and his church's protests at the funerals of Matthew Shepard and military dead.

I took a look at the GHF site for the first time in a long while and am glad to see that they apparently hired a web designer and modernized the site. It's about time...

So let's get into the guts of my issues with Pastor Phelps.

1. I completely disagree with his position on Homosexuality and I won't get into the particulars of my thoughts on his and many other interpretations of the Bible (I have gone through this in the last 2½ years on the blog so you can find it).
   
   I will say this, I am not a Jew and according to the Apostle Paul there is no requirement for me to be bound by the Law of Moses to follow Jesus.


2. Pastor Phelps believes in a theology called Absolute Predestination which states that there are those who come into the world, destined from birth to find salvation and the rest of us are outright ineligible.
   
   It is easily used to separate the "chosen" from the rest, I believe in a God that would at least make salvation available to all his creation.


3. I don't know if it is still on the site or not, but there used to be the following statement which tore through my heart and soul.

   God doesn't hate you because you are Gay,
   you're Gay because God hates you.

   I once sent them a question asking if Absolute Predestination was true and I'm already damned by God, since he made me gay, why deny me any semblance of happiness before my God ordained eternity in Hell begins?
   

As much as I might think he does the term Christianity a severe disservice and is a fountain of hate, I cannot help but respect his tenacity to stand up and be ridiculed (deserved or not) for what he believes.

There is a line from "The American President" that is so very appropriate for this discussion...

America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight.

It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours.

You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free".

It is like the Indian Upanishads say about people and religions; there are 400,000 types of people all at different levels of spiritual evolution, no one religion will ever speak to all of them. This is why I always teach that no matter what form of religion or spiritual practice, as well as none that you might have, respect the differences you find around you as all learn at their own pace.

A true spiritual practice is about personal growth! Like it or not, ALL people are on their path of return to the source and will learn in their own time and pace. If you find yourself as a High School student, you don't hate the 3^rd grader for not knowing Shakespeare, you help him learn from where he is. Be that sign post for all around you.

WTF and Y?

I get asked many things by people, I seem to attract the questions. That's cool, I actually like it, usually.

One of the questions I get asked a lot, particularly by people that actually read what I write here and in other places, is just what kind of f'n trip am I on?

I have previously mentioned how one of my early teachers, Joyce Meyer, made mention to the fact that people in the public eye tend to show just the "good" side of their personalities. It is this "show" of their goodness and the repression of everything else that makes them look like hypocrites when the "dark side" is exposed. Like the Apostle John says;

And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.

John 3:19-20 (KJV)
There have been many thing that have occurred in my life and actions that I have taken that I am not necessarily proud of, but I am not ashamed of any of them. Lessons come in all sizes and packages and the only thing I would be ashamed of would be to have learned nothing from them.

That's the past and simply put, there's not a whole hell of a lot that I can really do about it. I could try to hide things, but unless they are unknown to any and all living beings, there's always the chance that they may come out eventually, so why not beat them and just be straightforward about them all?

As far as some of the day-to-day stuff that I write about and some of the more outlandish things, they are all part of who and what I am. I am a human, I have wants and some things I tend to think of as needs, I feel love and pain, joy and sorrow and, God forbid, I am a healthy male who makes use of those "evil" parts down south.

I get such a kick out of those self-proclaimed purists who think to be spiritual that you have to give up all the joys and pleasures of the physical world. It's like I tell my spiritually vegetarian friends, "God gave me k9s to rip into meat and I like to on occasion." The same thing with sex, God gave me a dick and what sometimes feels like an overabundance of testosterone and I'm going to make use of it when appropriate (OK, and sometimes when it may not be...).

...where Life and Spirit become One!™

The tag-line on my page really is the essence of what I teach and how I live. Integrating Spirit into one's daily life isn't about depriving yourself, but in learning about the Truth of who and what you are.

Some people need to become ascetic in their path, at least for a while, so they can develop an understanding that they have been mistaken about things, but it's like the (slightly updated) adage about meditation; "Anyone can meditate in the quiet of a temple, but when you can do it during the half-time at the Super Bowl, then you know you can meditate."

Some of the less than traditional things I write and talk about are to express this idea, and to be honest, sometimes it's just to elicit a response, I like to yank people's chains to get their attention sometimes. It can be amazing to see what people do when you come at them from a 90° angle.

Like I have written so many times, Life was meant to be an entertainment for the Soul, not a trap or prison. As one finds Spirit and begins to integrate the two back into a single whole, that which is illusion and unnecessary will fall away on it's own.

For an example of what I am referring to check out an earlier blog entry called "The 2 Best and Worst Things for Your Sex Life" which gives an excellent example of what I'm talking/writing about.

Someone once wrote that when one finds their relationship to God and the whole of creation, things like the 10 Commandments become self evident. Why would one want to steal from another when they realize that they are really stealing from themselves, the whole collection goes from "Thou Shalts and Shalt Nots" to "no duhs" that seem obvious.

Good Days that Hurt...

For the most part, I love life.

Life is such a wonderful gift from God, if you believe in He/She/It/Is, and for those that don't it's an amazing trick of entropy that I could spend several eternities thanking random chance since it is obvious that I won that lottery. (We'll talk about California Lotto later)

But there are days, strangely, they are the days that I truly become convinced that there has to be something behind it, something greater and apparently far wiser than I could ever hope to be behind it all.

Is it God? Is it a super-intelligent being that actually knows the purpose for all that is happening and is either taking one hell of a crap-shoot with creation or has the great hope that since it came from perfection that it must eventually (that can be an awfully long time) return to the source from which it came, perfection.

In the Sanatana-dharma, or as most westerners call it: Hinduism, there is a story of Mother Maya. Mother Maya is the manifestation of creation and she loves her children, us. She feels for us because she knows the pain that she must inflict upon her children so that they may learn and eventually grow beyond her. As with all parents, that is her hope, that her children should surpass her.

The interesting part of days like this for me is that though my heart aches to see the pain that we create for ourselves and for others. I weep to feel the hardness of the hearts of men and I sometimes wonder if I wish to continue on my path towards whatever it is I and everyone else truly is.

There is an old adage that says "ignorance is bliss" and I can agree with that at times, the bliss of sleep is something I sometimes wish for, if only for a moment. But then I awaken to the fact that unless I wish to condemn myself to that sleep of illusion and lies, I have to be willing to awaken and go through the pain.

The pain is an illusion as much as everything else, it's an illusion we create by denying the truth of who and what we are. Because part of our awakening is to become intimately aware that we are all part of the whole, without any part, no matter how small, the whole is not whole, how could it be.

So today my heart is open, my soul is free and I feel the pain that my fellow students are going through. As much as I want to shake them awake, I know that I can only help those who want to be awakened, many are not ready or willing, to them I will wish peace and joy in whatever measure they can handle.

So today is a good day and strangely, it is a day that is likely to hurt, but it is in the depth of that pain, that compassion for my friends, family and the rest of creation, that I know that I have Spirit and that I am getting closer to truly being in Spirit at every moment.

Miscellaneous Thoughts for Today...

I recently took a "normal" job, whatever that may actually be, I think of it as a place that pays me on a regular basis for some function that they have need of. I am still in training on the job and am feeling pretty good about it, but the one part of it that is going to take a while to get used to is getting up so early.

As an independent contractor, I could get up whenever I wanted, usually around 7 and take my time getting myself together. With the hours that I am doing during training and likely to continue doing on a regular basis, I could sleep as late as 6, but that leaves me little time for the more important aspects of my morning, meditation.

That's actually what this entry is going to be about I think.


I really enjoy the time I get to meditate and have really enjoyed sharing that time with my roomie, but that is a touch difficult since the roomie doesn't have to get up and I would never ask her to.

Lately, my meditations have been very interesting, not so much for what has been happening, but for what has not.

I tend to start my meditations with a creation of some sacred space and then do a breath channeling through my chakras. It helps me to relax and to place myself into an alternate state of mind.

One of the things that I have noticed about myself is that I get to a certain point and because of previous experiences, I try to "force" myself into a certain state. I'm not real sure how to describe it, but I get to a point where I feel as if I am leaving the body through the crown chakra and from there I can go anywhere.

I guess the part that has been interesting to me has been the recent experiences where I get to the threshold of "stepping out" and basically get stuck. I have found that meditation is a lot like my life in that it works best when I just let it happen and don't attempt to force things.

When I just relax and let my meditation happen, I get deeper than when I do otherwise. I know this is a pretty "duh" statement for many people and to be honest, it is for me as well. But we all sometimes get so far from where we started that it is sometimes helpful to remember those early lessons and see what other interesting and new insights we can glean from them.

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The image above is one that I use to remind me of the images and colors of the chakras. The base or root chakra is associated with the color red and so forth through the colors and chakras till you reach the third eye which is purple. The crown merges all the colors together for a brilliant white.

Beyond those basics of chakra work, the image also incorporates the traditional lotus designs as well as the Sanskrit characters for more advanced students. I am trying to find an old graphic editing program I had that will allow me to slow the rate of the animation changes.

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I recently had a discussion with someone and the ideas of meditation vs prayer came up. Those who know me know that I don't use the term "prayer" very often. The reason is that when I was young, prayer always seemed like a negotiation with God for what we felt was some blessing that we deserved.

Now days I usually phrase it more along the lines of "prayer is when I talk to God or my Higher Power, meditation is when I shut up and listen for the response."

After years of study of teachers and saints from religions spanning time and this planet, I can tell you that the teachers all tell us that the answers are not outside of ourselves, but within. This is because we are all small sparks of the Creator and can not be separated from that Source.

As the "Course in Miracles" puts so eloquently, God does not judge the minutia of our day-to-day lives but only that which is deserving of judgment, the mistake that we fell into of believing that we were separate from Him and could fall. Everything else is just that delusion playing itself out.

The law of Karma and Newton's Second Law of Motion state, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. All these "sins" we worry so much about are nothing because they only exist in a state of illusion, they are not real. Only that which is real matters and you would be amazed at how much is not real. Like that book titled, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: it's all small stuff," when we put things into perspective we can let go of that load we carry around in the name of guilt.

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OK, I will quit rattling about and go get some sleep. I have a busy day at work and I have more than enough here for you to think about.

Goodnight.

What are we and Why?

There is an old question that I got asked in philosophy class that is reasonably close to a koan from the world of Zen, "Can God make a stone so large that He cannot move it?"

What if this is the wrong question? What if the right question is, "Can God create a puzzle and/or riddle that is so complex that, as of yet, He has not solved?" And if that is not enough heresy for one day, I would add, "What if we, people as well as creation, are the attempt to solve that puzzle/riddle?"

Generally, I tend to think of the relationship between God and His creation in less than philosophical Gordian knots, along the lines of, as explained so eloquently by Neale Donald Walsch, God knew Himself to be the totality of all that was, is and ever would be, but the knowing of something and experiencing it are completely different. Creation is the attempt of God to turn datum into experience.

Now, to some, this is absolute heresy, I tend to feel sorry for these people since they usually have a view of the relationship of man and God as being nearly diametrically opposed. The view of separation between creator and created seems to manifest in forms of societies that end up bullish and uncaring in their assumed relationship to the creator as "the chosen."

Why is it that we cannot look beyond our little egos (OK, not so little in many cases)? If we take this view of God as a diamond and all the differing ideas about God are just different facets of the same stone, we are left with all our descriptions of God being like the story of the blind men who start fighting over what an elephant is since they all have experienced different pieces and not the whole.

Imagine the joy that would come from the acknowledgement that not only is our view and belief right, but also the plethora of views from the Haitian Vodoun Mambos and Houngans, to the Islamic Imams, through the Hindu Brahmans, to the Buddhist Lamas and Arhats to the Christian Popes and assorted ministers and preachers, wouldn't that just be amazing to experience?

Note:
Thanks to J. Michael Straczynski for reminding me of this with Dr. Franklin in Babylon 5.

"Who Are You?" and "What Do You Want?"

There have been a few posts as of late where I have been whining a bit about my life and certain things within it. I got a good smacking today from Richard Bach. I am just finishing re-reading his "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" when I came to pages 110 and 130 which say the following as excerpts from the "Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul"

Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there.
What you choose to do with them is up to you.

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In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom.
It is not always an easy sacrifice.

There is a person with whom I currently do business that has truly become completely toxic for me. I really needed this slap in the face to remind me that I am the creator of my reality and if I want it to change, that's up to me to decide as well as put into action and whining about it is a complete waste of time and energy.

A few years ago, J. Michael Straczynski created a 5 year epic television series called "Babylon 5" that I have been a fan of since the original pilot was shown on TV. Personally, I found the idea of a series that had a long term story in mind from its inception to be a great one.

One of the ongoing story arcs involved two of the ancient races called the Vorlons and the Shadows. The Vorlons seemed to be about a strongly spiritual path and they appeared as beings of light when we finally get to see one without their encounter suits (though someone really needs to tell them that even Krystle Carrington wouldn't wear that much shoulder padding during the early 80's). The Shadows on the other hand were not as pleasant and the conflict between the two races was basically our religious idea of the battle between good and evil. As many of our religions would agree with, the Vorlons are always asking "Who are you?" while the Shadows ask "What do you want?"

As simple as these questions appear to be, they are actually quite profound in their scope and complexity. Depending on how you view and relate to them, they could be as simple as "I am Robert and I want a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich." My life has NEVER been that straightforward and I suspect it would be pretty boring if it were.

As to the Vorlon's question of "Who are You?" I would answer:

• I am an eternal spiritual entity that is currently referenced as Robert and am currently manifesting in this world to learn from and help those around me as a part and parcel of the totality that many refer to as God.

As to the Shadow's question of "What do you want?":

• I want many things depending on how the question is meant:
  
  1. I want to spend my life doing what brings me joy and that seems to be passing on what knowledge I have while learning from others both directly and indirectly.
  2. I want to be the joyful entity that God keeps dropping me glimpses of.
  3. As far as what I want from this world, since I am inclined to believe that it is all an illusion of perception, the majority of "things" that those around me think will give them joy I find to be entertaining but not a "want." The only thing in this world that I would say that I honestly want would be to have someone to share it all with. Someone to share my life with, have companionship and love.

Money and fame are tools that can be interesting diversions, but they can also be a major pain in the backside. I grew up in an middle-class family that was fairly miserable, especially where money was concerned. I have had friends who had more cash than God would know what to do with and yet they were always so busy acquiring more that they usually didn't seem to be very happy. I can honestly say that the happiest times of my life have usually been when I either had nothing or was barely squeaking by. Not that money unto itself is bad, but their are so many more important things to pursue and enjoy in life. Personally, I'll take happiness and joy over wealth any day.

"The Secret" and "What God Wants" from me...

A friend of mine, whose opinions I have found to be quite worthy of my respect, was telling me about how much she really enjoyed reading the book for "The Secret". I had previously been told by others that it was basically a written version of the film and that there was not much more to it, hence I was not planning to purchase it. She was right and I am so glad to have listened.

I could go through several parts of the book and discuss how wonderfully it expands upon the the themes of the film and in some places goes into things that didn't make it in, beyond a cursory mention. One that really spoke (read yelled, screamed and made a general nuisance of itself) was the final chapter.

On many occasions, I have tried to find the will of God for my life. In the Southern Baptist world we are told that God has a plan and it is our job to fulfill whatever role He put us here for. Now this works really well as a philosophy for people who don't wish to take any particular responsibility for their lives and pass it all off on God. Now don't get me wrong, I understand completely why the majority of peoples would prefer to be at the whim of a distant and all powerful deity, but when I look around me and see what that mindset has created in the majority of mankind, I just find it questionable at best and obviously misguided at most. The first section of Neale Donald Walsch's book "What God Wants" goes into this with amazing clarity and brutal honesty.

I have never found a difficulty in asking God if something is right or wrong, guidance has never been lacking when I'm willing to hear it. But when I have asked what it is that God wishes of me, there has always been a distinct silence. I have been known to become a bit annoyed and sometimes testy with God over this lack of communication. If He has some wish for me, I would think it only polite to make me aware of it... How can I be help responsible on the day of Judgment if He won't speak up, especially when asked?

My parents and the common logic is that we are to race on this treadmill of sleep, work and television with the weekly visits on Sunday and Wednesday to Church to give my soul it's injection of Salvation. Now I am the first to admit that maybe I am just pig-headed about this, but I cannot imagine a more depressing. You might as well pull out the gun and blow my head off, talk about a hellish existence.

Others say that I should lock myself into an ascetic community or cloister of monks and like-minded individuals. Now maybe I am just a touch cynical, but somehow I suspect that is more for their satisfaction than mine. I have thought about it and would be open to it. My biggest stumbling block to date on this score has to do with where the previous is so far to one extreme of the spectrum, most ascetic communities are just as extreme on the other. Like the Buddha, I seek a balanced path down the center, the path between all extremes.

While there are many variants to the above paths, about the only true alternative is the "Follow you Bliss" path. Misery may satisfy the "original sin" crowd, but I just can't get my heart to believe in a deity that has nothing but spite for his creation and wishes them to live in eternal dread and toil.

Some say that to follow your bliss is to seek a hedonistic lifestyle, thinking only of oneself and taking little interest in the repercussions of those actions. Taken in a selfish way, it can be a slippery slope but through inspiration and perseverance we can keep our perspectives and hearts clear and true.

The simple fact is that all ideas, philosophies and theologies taken one way can bring true joy and just as easily taken the other direction tends to bring pain and suffering in the long run. St. Francis showed a path of simplicity and poverty and yet many found such things to be the source of pride and vanity in their personal experiences. This is also shown in some of the ascetic paths in the Indian traditions. We tend to feel raised by "our" sacrifices "for" God, how our ego's love to stroke themselves.

So what does God want from you? Listen to your heart and find the answer, if you truly listen it cannot be missed.

What does God want from me? The things that make me happiest are finishing pieces like this and sharing with others the joy I get from a view of life on this planet that I once thought was only allowed for greater people than I would ever be. My friends have giggled at me at times when I talk about my teeth humming. When I am "in the groove" I get the sensation that my teeth are humming along and a warmth runs up and down my spine and eventually explodes out from the sack of skin that I think of as "me".

Do I ever doubt myself and this whole thing? Of course I do at times and that is when I ask for guidance all the more fervently. We tend, in Western Christianity, to deify Jesus and put him completely outside our frame of reference, but as the Gospels tell us, even he doubted himself at times and the things he was called to do. We all have our moments where we are in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Since I know someone will ask, no, I have no delusions of such things, but use it as an example that if even the greatest of us can have doubts about what we are doing, then the least of us can't really be condemned as long as we are listening to that voice of inspiration that brought us here in the first place.

The Primer pt 1

To understand some of the view and expressions made here, I guess it would be helpful to give an introduction to a variant world view and express some basic ideas that I don't really want to have to explain every time that I use them (I probably will to some degree, but here is the best place to find the bare-bones basics of the view expressed here).

This is a general summary only, details will be given in later pieces that I have to sit down and write. Most of the examples used here are Christian unless otherwise stated. Not that I have anything against Christianity, but I live in a nation that claims to be a Christian one. Since that is the majority of my audience, I'll address them in particular. My friends of other religions though, find me just as pointed at them when we discuss them. Remember, all the paths lead to the same destination, God and Truth.

Table of Contents

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Religious Foundation
God and Man
What is Sin?
Scripture References

Religious Foundation

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I seem to get accused of being a Secular Humanist by many religious adherents (particularly by more fundamentalist individuals) but as I understand the term, it is definitely not an accurate term for myself in that as a "Secularist" I would deny the existence of God or a Higher Power as well as anything supernatural, which is completely incorrect. I guess you could say that I might be a Religious Humanist in that I do believe in God and that which is beyond the physical (super/supra natural) but have become disillusioned by traditional "organized" religions.

There is truth in ALL scripture and religions and to exclude any one of them would be a mistake. The problem comes from the codifying of theologies and dogmas that exclude anything outside of their positions. For example, I was brought up a Southern Baptist (Christian) and those beliefs do not accept the Pentecostal (Christian) idea of "Speaking in Tongues" though the Pentecostals find it to be a "Gift of the Spirit". If found "Speaking in Tongues" in my house, I would have likely found myself in the office of either an exorcist (or the Southern Baptist equivalent) or a psychiatrist's office. Imagine what the response would be if I found Nirvana or found spiritual bliss through the Hari-Krishna Maha-Mantram...

When you get past the inserted egos of the followers and later teachers, strip out the cultural contexts and actually look at the subject of what teachers like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna and many others were teaching, you find they are all talking about the same things from different perspectives or angles. Jesus and Krishna are so similar in many of their teachings, that I wouldn't be surprised to find Jesus had read the Bhagavad-gita (Jesus did grow up near major trading routes coming to and from India). Buddha doesn't worry about teaching about afterlives and heavens or hells, he just concerns himself with finding our true natures and experiencing life from that place.

Now with the above stated, do I deny the "deity" of Jesus or Krishna (some of the followers of Vishnu believe Krishna to be the incarnation of God's highest self) or were they just good to great men and teachers? That question is a lot more difficult to answer because of how we use language. To Christians, Jesus is the human incarnation (they don't call it that) of one aspect of the triune of God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). In the way most Christians would mean the previous question, my answer would be "No" in that I don't see Jesus and his teachings as out of the grasp of the day to day person. Mainly because I see all people as part of God, just some are more aware of it than others, hence Jesus. So, from my perspective, the answers are Yes (because we all are aspects of deity) and Yes (since they spent their lives passing on knowledge).

I have several friends who have coined the term "Hindu-Buddhi-Christ" to describe my personal path as I see amazing harmony in their namesakes: Hinduism (Sanatana Dharma), Buddhism and Christianity. My personal view of my religious path could be called jnana-yoga after the idea of searching for knowledge.

God and Man

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We are told by our elders that God is omnipotent and omnipresent. If this is correct, then the idea of separation that prevails through the majority of our religions, that God is outside our experience and reach, cannot be accurate and the idea that many people hold that God cannot be in the presence of sin is either wrong or our view of sin must be.

God is that which permeates and activates God's creation of thought that appears as the world around us. Paramahansa Yogananda put it beautifully when he said that creation is like a movie in a theatre, the illusion of light and form are projected upon the "screen" which is God. The screen can exist without the projection, but the projection would cease to be coherent without the screen and it would not be a movie without both.

The idea that God cannot be in the presence of wrongness is not supported in scripture. After Adam and Eve "sin" by eating of the "Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil", God speaks to them as if He were unaware they had sinned. In Job, there are scenes with the Devil in Heaven, apparently at the Throne of God, talking with God about Job. God speaks to Cain (a murderer), Noah (a drunkard), Moses (a murderer) and a whole host of prophets; their sins never seems to get in the way.

Mankind is the child of an eternal entity that can be seen in everyday events, if we are willing, and heard from in every moment if we will just open our ears and hearts to listen. As the children of God, we are part of him, inseparable.

What is Sin?

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When asked, most Christians will tell you that Sin is either an old archery term that means to miss the point (accurate, but not for the reasons they think) or to go against the will of God (like that could be possible).

The first definition is correct but not because God said not to eat of the tree, but in what happens immediately afterwards. When you read Genesis, you find that the very first thing that happens after Adam and Eve eat, is that they become body conscious, they know they are naked. God even plays along and asks who told them about their nakedness. It is in this that true sin is shown. Not the eating of forbidden fruit (I suspect God set that up for other reasons) but in the forgetting of our true natures and our delusional fixation of the physical and corporeal. It is in forgetting our souls and living for our bodies that we are born into sin, not some pending judgment from on high.

The predominant world view that we are all under the watchful eye of a most high deity that watches and assesses the goodness or badness of every thought and deed comes from an idea that says we are separate from God. Because we believe that we are separate, we do God a disservice by bringing him down to our level of petty judgments, conditional love and general vindictiveness fit more for a bad Hollywood movie than an all powerful deity.

Scripture References

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How does one choose from the plethora of Sacred Writings out there? The nice thing is that unless you want to, you don't have to. The secret is in the understanding of how it's particular representation of the truth is expressed. The Bible's Old testament (Tanakh: Torah, Prophets and Writings) is written from the perspective and culture of early Semitic nomadic tribes and there descendents. The Qur'an, the specific culture of the 7th century world of Arabia. The Bhagavad-gita is placed in the region of India and Buddha around the 5th century BCE.

Where I look everywhere for knowledge, the scripture I use most often are the Bible (KJV), The Bhagavad-gita, Upanishads and Bhagavata-Purana (Srimad-Bhagavatam) and the discourses of the Buddha (mainly the Sutta-Pitaka, for it's antiquity, and the Vinaya
for it's age as well in the early pre-differentiated status of its creation).

If I were to be dropped on a deserted island, I would take the Gospels of Matthew and John, the Yoga Sutras & the Bhagavad-gita. With those, I could still find the truth.

God, Man, Messiahs & Perverts

You ever look at the world and the people in it and wonder just how everything got so screwed up? How did man (to use the Genesis version) go from making the mistake of eating the forbidden fruit to teetering on the edge of self-annihilation?

In recent times, we in the United States hear a lot of rhetoric, both political and religious, about Fundamentalist Islamic Suicide Bombers. How do you create someone who not only thinks killing themselves is such a great idea that they plan it, but convince them that they are doing God's will?

I have read the Quran and while I don't consider myself to be an expert by any fancy of imagination, I can't see where it justifies this teaching. Sure, it talks about martyrdom and the blessings and after death benefits of it, but I don't see what is being taught to the young in parts of the Middle East in it.

A couple of years ago I read a translation of a service, given by I believe Yassar Arafat's Imam, where he started with a story of a young 14 year old boy walking up to him and proudly proclaiming that in 4 years, when he was old enough, he was going to be a martyr via bombing (implied). If that wasn't tragic enough, the Imam was actually proud of his youthful zeal and enthusiasm. So, for these people who wish to blow themselves up in the name of God as they understand Him, I have a question:

• You made the choice to become a bomber
• You made the choice to strap the explosives to your body
• You made the choice of the location to do it in
• You made the choice of when to do it
• You made the choice of how to kill as many as you might
• Where is God in all this?

As far as I can tell, this is all you and no one else. That's not God's will, it's yours! The simple fact is that you have decided to become a murderer and suicide and just because you do it with God's name on your lips, doesn't change jack, the Quran is quite explicit about the penalties for both.

Yes, I have a serious issue with these Imams that teach the young, dissatisfied and vulnerable that suicide, even in the name of God, is a career choice. Martyrdom is something God puts before you and you choose to accept or not.

But, this isn't about being anti or pro anything, it's about how we messed it up.

When you look at the core messages of the Teachers who claim to have messages from God or a technique for finding God from within, people just can't help but twist it to their sick little definitions of God to the exclusion of all others.

I am not a particularly strong fan of organized traditional religion, though I do understand it's intent. You can have a body of teaching and many examples of it in action, but for it to pass from generation to generation, you need to give it a form that can be explained or experienced. The problem is that the form tends to become more important than the purpose. A friend told me a story that illustrates this.

The abbot at a Buddhist monastery, high in the mountains had recently received a large group of young men to start their education as monks. He noticed that while the young men were enthusiastic and devout in their subjects, they seemed to be lacking something. After thinking and meditating on it for a while, he realized that being young men, they needed companionship and friendship, so the abbot took it upon himself to acquire a small puppy, which he introduced to the young acolytes.

Life in the monastery became more satisfying for the young men and the puppy slowly grew in size and love for his new home. The only problem with the arrangement became obvious when the young dog started attempting to play with the students while they were in temple and practicing their meditations.

To solve the problem, a stake was planted in the courtyard near a tree and it became the practice to tie the pup during meditation times. Now at first the pup didn't really care for the idea, but in a short time it became habit and all was calm.

As time went on, monks left the monastery and new acolytes entered as well as teachers leaving and passing, including a few abbots. Eventually, the dog had become long of tooth and finally passed on. This threw the monastery into a near case of chaos, since it was apparent to all that a new dog must be acquired immediately, since everyone knows you can't meditate without a dog tied out front of the temple.

Now this simple little story isn't much unto itself, but it illustrates a trend in religion throughout history. What starts out as a suggestion or an idea, after a while becomes tradition and then potentially ritual and cannot be changed by us mere mortals.

We do the same things with our teachers as well, look at Jesus as an example. Jesus was a good Jewish boy brought up in a less than ideal side of town, but he was blessed with an insight into both people and God and he later spent the last 3 years of his life being hounded by those who wanted to ride his coattails and those who were threatened by the "new" teaching that he was giving, the miracles probably didn't help on either of these fronts.

So what happened to him? His followers turned him into a god and put him on a pedestal so high that most of his teachings became inaccessible to the common, mere mortal, people and to incur his displeasure was a sure ticket to everlasting punishment by his father. Strange that none of this is referenced anywhere in his teachings.

I had a discussion with someone a while back about the Gospel of John regarding this (OK, I've had this discussion on many occasions). I was saying that John is probably the most misquoted and misunderstood book since the need of the people to insert their own egos into the expressions of the teacher. For example, what I think of as the most misrepresented verse in the Bible, John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

Now a little context here... Jesus and his disciples are in a room and are preparing for the last supper. Judas has just been given his charge to go quickly about his task and Peter has sworn his allegiance and been told he will betray Jesus three times before the cock crows. He then goes on to calm the disciples and tell them not to worry, that he goes to prepare a place for them and they may join him. Thomas asks where this might be, since (once again) the disciples do not understand what Jesus is talking about. Jesus' response is this verse, followed by "If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him."

This verse, John 14:6, is usually taken to be an egocentric statement of deity, but if that was the case, the following verse wouldn't be necessary.

I've always found that John was the disciple who got it. John is writing about the teachings of Jesus and seems to assume we are aware of the context. If you insert the ego that most people do, then Jesus is in direct opposition to most of the rest of the Gospels where he shows himself to be the most humble. What is happening here, as happens in other scriptures as well, is that Jesus has so aligned himself with God in the form of father that he speaks his teachings in the first person for the father. Jesus does this throughout the Gospel of John. In John, we have a definitive split between Jesus, the man, born of Mary and raised as a carpenter's son and Jesus, the Christ, who is aligned with the will of God.

How can one man be both without being crazy? One is the man, as we all are and the other is the will and spirit of the man aligned, not with his own ego but the will of the creator. This is what Jesus is pointing to us throughout his message, the Christ is within each of us and we are able to bring it into manifestation.

Some say that this is Gnosis, it is! Gnosis is just the idea that there is a knowledge that we must find, the truth of our creation, and that it is our responsibility to follow where that leads us which is eventually back to our souls and their direct relationship to God the Creator.

Sin, to miss the point, is exactly this. It's not the eating of the fruit in the Garden of Eden against the stated will of God, but what happens immediately after the eating, Adam and Eve forget their divine nature and become completely deluded by their bodies and the nakedness of them. They miss the point of what creation is actually about and become lost in the illusion of it.

So, the question becomes; if that's the case, why would this not be the teaching of the Church? You can't control people when you tell them they hold all the cards in the game and God just wants you to play them.

There is a very good historical example of this, reincarnation. Very early in the history of the Church, the idea of reincarnation is brought into question, many attribute this to Origen though there isn't a lot of evidence to support this. If this were as much of a cut and dried question as many state, this would have been quickly answered and been done with. This was actually debated for around 300 years before the official church policy was decreed. Now depending on whom you talk to, you get different reasons as to why the final removal of the idea was placed.

1. The church father's, knowing the vulnerability of man, removed the doctrine of reincarnation so people would not be tempted to misuse it and figure that since they have many lives, they can enjoy this lifetime and work the next. Of course the chances are, they would be doing this for many.
2. If people knew that they had many lifetimes and that salvation wasn't decided in a short time, the church would be impotent. The ability to sell indulgences and claim to stand in the place of God on Earth would be laughably ridiculous and the ability to control would be naught.

We could go on and on in the search for examples of this in many (read most) religions and the problem is not in the scriptures and teachings, but in the egocentric natures of the people and organizations that propagate them.

God gives man the truth through teachers and messiahs and we pervert it.

I find it amazing how in our expressed ignorance of the subject, of soul and spirit, we still insist on claiming exclusive knowledge of the correct path and way that God had intended from the beginning. I find that if I come to scripture and interpret it from the universally agreed point in all religions, that we are eternal spiritual entities who only inhabit these bodies temporarily, that the scripture all point in the same direction and have a universal teaching.

What and How pt 2 [Essay]

Where I ended this Sunday morning works really well. We had just come full circle and were able to come back to the scripture of my youth with a clean slate, so to speak.

I sometimes think that indoctrinating children into religion is both good and bad. It's good in that the young get exposure to the idea of something greater than themselves (which in the world of today, is sorely lacking any controls on their little, ahem, egos) as well as the idea that there is more to life than making money. But some churches go to far in the indoctrination for my taste. It's great to familiarize children with Bible verses and stories, but when you start instilling the religious zealousness we see growing around us, I think you do them harm.

Telling children about God is like the old story about children and sex:

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Little Billy walks up to his Mother and asks, "Where did I come from?"

Knowing that this would come up at some time, she had prepared and went on to tell her child about the birds and the bees.

Upon completion, she looked at Billy and said, "Does that answer your question?"

Billy paused for a second and then replied, "I don't know, Tommy's from Cincinnati; where did I come from?"

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Most children are not ready for deep theological arguments of creeds and doctrines and telling them that their little friends are going to Hell because they are not _______________ (fill with your denomination or religion) is actually quite hateful. It's bad enough that in the name of safety and concern we steal our children's innocence away from them, but must we start them down the road of closed minds regarding explanations of that which most of us don't understand?

After having made my way around the track and coming back to the Gospels, I could see what was there and even though the programmed interpretations still popped up on occasion, they were controllable since I knew them for what they were. It's one thing to believe what we are told and do it knowing that we are following another's teachings, but it's another thing completely to do it without realizing it. I run into so many people who spout theologies that they have learned in church from their pastors, but have no idea where they came from. Funny, though not one of Martin Luther's 95 Theses against the church; he translated the Bible from Latin to German so that the people should have access and the authority to read the scripture for themselves.

I sometimes wonder why people even give their children Bibles. Not the children's Bibles that are basically story books using scripture as the source, but actual Bibles. If these people ever actually read the book, they would never put one in the hands of a small, immature, child. There's murder, sex, nudity, hatred and other things that are not appropriate for kids.

Now don't get me wrong, I happen to love the Bible and find it to be an excellent body of work to learn from, I just think that it should get at least a PG-13 rating (Strange that the same people who feel that the Harry Potter books are too much for kids will hand a child a Bible that makes them look tame).

I have been accused of being very tough on Christianity and Christians in general, that I paint with a very broad brush. To some degree it is true, I am tough on the followers who make a general ass of themselves without taking the time and energy to understand what they are saying. I am also tough on it because it is the dominant religion in this country and (as has been seen lately) being publicly overrun by zealots who are not that different from the Fundamentalist Muslims they like to rant about.

I had someone say, when I made the above comment, that "at least Christians were not telling each other to blow themselves up in the name of God and take as many innocents with them." Currently, no (though a few have hinted at doing just as heinous acts) but our history as Christians is just as bloody and vile with Crusades, Witch-hunts and the Dark Ages. We have no business casting stones from our glass towers.

I have noticed in the study of Religious History that most groups tend to deify some aspect of the sources. The Jews deified the Law of Moses, the Christians--Jesus, the Muslims seem to be deifying the culture that the Prophet Mohammed lived in. The tendency is usually followed by an egocentric explosion to the "unclean" which certain sects of Muslims are currently experiencing. The only true difference between Christians then and these Fundamentalist Muslims now are the tools of destruction are infinitely more devastating.

I wrote someplace else the following:

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The origin of the problem lies in the egocentric idea that most religions and schools of thought promote in their students that they have the "one and only TRUE way" (emphasis usually implied). The difficulty is that when one questions their tradition, the assumption becomes that one is implying that their path is not a "true way", when actually the question should be; is it the "one and only?"

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When you get past the cultural referencetraditionsitions and get to the actual messages, you find that Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, Lao Tzu and a plethora of others all were saying the same thing: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Or as Krishna puts it in the Bhagavad-gita; "Just fix your mind upon Me, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and engage all your intelligence in Me. Thus you will live in Me always, without a doubt."

What and How pt 1 [Essay]

I'm sitting in Downtown Los Angeles on Olive, just south of 7th St, waiting for a customer who is at a wedding on the next block. Kind of boring, but it's what I'm paid to do as a chauffeur. At least I'm on the clock.

I was looking over the recent posts and if you were not aware of it, you might think that this blog is about being gay or gay rights. While I am gay and I do care about my rights and the possibility of meeting someone and getting married someday, it's not my main concern by a long shot. I guess it's because it is June. June has always been a big month for me as a gay man since it is when the majority of the Pride Celebrations take place and in response, the less open minded usually start doing their burning-in-hell dance.

This blog is mainly about Spirit and the day-to-day thoughts and experiences of exploring that Spirit.

I am a student (predominantly self-taught) of comparative religion, theology and philosophy. Basically, I am fascinated by the plethora of expressions of God, the Higher Power or whatever you want to call it/him/her.

Personally, I think English needs a new gender pronoun for expressing that which is beyond gender. "He" or "She" ends up alienating many people for a fair sized collection of reasons and "It" just seems insulting. I wouldn't be to surprised if I figure out and coin a new term, but I haven't a clue as of yet...

When I was a child, going to Rock Hill Baptist Church in St. Louis, MO, I found church interesting, but frustrating. On some level, I knew that the truth was there someplace, but it wasn't in what I was being told.

When I told my parents about my being gay, they didn't take it well and there was a bit of a backlash that I hadn't really expected. About the same time, our pastor gave a sermon that went something along the lines of how if one accepts one part of the Bible, one must accept the rest. Well, having been brought up in the Southern Baptist Convention, I knew there were many things in the Bible that the church not only disagreed with, but actively condemned.

When I left the church, initially I left God and all thoughts of Him as well. I was of the opinion that if any God was going to allow these things to be done in His name, screw Him. If this is where God was, I wanted nothing to do with it. I kind of threw the baby out with the bath water.

Not long after this, I started pursuing interests in religion that were out of the mainstream. About this time, I was introduced to the Hari-Krishnas, the Baha'i, some Japanese Buddhists and a couple of witches. Now at the time I wasn't really sure what to make of any of them, my Southern Baptist upbringing being somewhat offended, but they all seemed nice enough that I didn't walk away with any problems. In years to come, these introductions would be of great help in my growing understandings.

I spent some time studying witchcraft, probably because my father would start dropping solid gold ones if he ever found out. But through the study of witchcraft, I learned about the sub-conscience and the purpose and intent of ritual.

My studies of Shamanism was a continuation of the above, but more because I had heard that many shamanistic cultures had been quite accepting of homosexuals.

As time went on, I would work my way through scripture from many religions including the Bhagavad-gita which brought me back to the Gospels of the New Testament. By this time, I could read the Gospels without all the preconceived notions that I had been brought up with and actually see what was there. How wonderful that was for me. I could actually read what Jesus said and hear it and not hear my Sunday School teachers indoctrinating me to be a Southern Baptist.

I'll continue this later, I'm getting pretty tired and the bed is calling. Nighty night.

Pride and Gay Pride pt 2 [Essay]

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that there are basically 3 types of homosexuals:

1. Biological
2. Selective
3. Psychological
   

Biological homosexuals came into the world the way that they are. Be it God or genetics, they were decided from day one what they would grow into.

Selective homosexuals are people who have honestly chosen to be Gay. I know many women who have followed this path after horrid relations with men where they were raped, molested, abused, etc. I have met very few men that seem to fall into this category.

Psychological homosexuals are living in a mistaken state. People in this state usually grew up being called such things as "mamma's boy," "queer," "girlie boy" and such and after a time, they began to believe it, hence they never find true happiness since they are accidentally living a lie. These are the people who programs like Exodus, amongst others, get their claimed successes. Though, like the founders of Exodus, some of their success has not lasted due to the fact the an unhappy person can make himself do nearly anything for a while, just like gay men who marry women and later come out.

I think I am from the first category, biological.

I always sensed that I was different, but didn't know exactly how until I was about six or seven years old. About that time, a group of friends and I were playing in a local park when we came across a box of Playboys. Being young boys, we immediately took them off to someplace to inspect the booty, a tree house.

I saw the pictures of the naked women and thought most of them were quite pretty, but that was all. My friends were completely enamored and it was obvious that they found it much more interesting than I did. I really did read the jokes page and part of some interview and maybe a bit of Xaviera Hollander's column, I remember the lipstick in the shape of a penis as well as the title "The Happy Hooker".

I didn't think that much about it at the time, as it wasn't the first time that I had reacted to something differently than my friends.

A few months later, we were in the same park and we found another box of magazines, only this time, there were some Hustler and other more graphic magazines than Playboy.

I was looking through a Hustler and saw a spread of a couple all done up in silver lamé in various poses and it was the first time I ever saw a naked man with an erection. Immediately, I knew what my friends had been going on about the last time we had found these and after hearing the word "faggot" thrown around, I knew it would be most prudent to keep this to myself. Peer pressure and cultural prejudices had already been planted within and were bearing fruit (pun intended).

Now is going to come a confession that I never would have expected to make, the man in the photo spread was Ron Jeremy. Now I have nothing against the man and in fact have heard that he is a totally cool dude and amazingly real, but he has NEVER been my type in any way shape or form, but he was my introduction to men en rampant.

I remember my early crushes on boys from school and I nearly failed gym a few times because I was terrified of showering after class for fear of sprouting wood. I have known many girls and women in my life, but I have never found myself sexually attracted to one.

When I was about 14 or 15, after my mother died and my dad remarried, I had a few issues with what was going on, so we entered family counseling, but I was the only one that went on a regular basis. The psychologist one day asked me if I was gay, or a homosexual. I said "No!" You see at this time, the only images of gay men I had other than kid insults were sick old men in Chicago who molested little boys and then, after killing them, buried under the house. I couldn't kill anyone, so there was no way I could be a homosexual. So when he followed the first question with an inquiry as to if I knew what a homosexual was, I had the same answer. He explained it to me and I realized that was the word that described me; as well as faggot and queer.

At one time I thought I might think I was gay since I had never slept with a woman. So, I made the decision that if the opportunity presented itself and she was someone I could care about, I'd try it. Well, it did and so did I and well (my female friends: please don't be offended or upset with me) but I could have more fun with a bowl of warm Jell-O. It was what it was, but it was quite obvious to both of us that while I could function, I wasn't going to be happy about it, even though in that moment in time, I wanted to be.

I can't help but laugh when people call it a choice. While it might be for a small minority, for most of us, we spend a fair amount of our lives kicking and screaming against this piece of self-discovery. Why would anyone "choose" to be a social pariah? I had someone tell me (actually, I've heard this on many occasions) that homosexuals are in the business of recruiting people since we cannot breed on our own as if we were a dying race, slated for extinction. Strange, even when people have had to live amazingly closeted lives and barely acknowledged it to themselves, they came across others of like orientation.

We are VERY familiar with the pains of trying to live being what we are not. We would have to be amazingly hateful people to convince others via recruitment to live a life that isn't what they were intended to be by their maker. Sure, there are some people who are selfish enough to try that, but contrary to the idea that I was taught, that mankind is inherently evil due to original sin, I see too much evidence that is not truly the case.

On September 11th, 2001 the world watched a small group of people do amazingly terrible acts in the name of God as they saw him. From the majority of the world's view this was an incredibly selfish and misguided act that would be expected from the original sin, man is evil crowd. If man truly was that way, then there would have been no heroes out of firemen and police, amongst others, to try and save anyone or thing other than their own skin. You have to be truly good at the core of your essence and being to do that kind of a job, little less after watching the aftermath. Sure, man has a tendency to be amazingly selfish in the day-to-day living of his life, but I think that is truly a learned behavior than his true nature. People consistently show their inherent goodness when it really counts. Maybe, it's time that we learned to make it the core of our day-to-day life as well...

I sometimes wonder why there is so much animosity from straight men toward gay. Maybe I am just simple-minded, but I always assumed that the problem was rooted in the nature of humans to judge, fear and hate that which they do not understand.

I remember a few years ago during the early years of the Clinton administration when he was addressing the issue of gays in the military, we won't get into what I think of the outcome ("Don't Ask, Don't Tell"). I was listening to some radio talk show and I have no idea who was being interviewed, but when asked why straight men seem to hate gay men so much, the person being interviewed said "Straight men are afraid that gay men will do to straight men what straight men have been doing to women for thousands of years." I loved that.

Earlier this evening, I was thinking about it and I had an interesting thought. It occurred to me that in nearly every culture that has such strong religious taboos are very much patriarchal societies that control property, power and inheritance through the men. Women may own some property, but the men are the ones endowed with the ability to control it. Cultural taboos and religious morality laws usually have some justifiable reason behind them and I was thinking that the union of 2 men would result in the creation of a very powerful business interest in an early culture. With 2 power yielding individuals, both able to make binding arrangements and work together collectively, you would definitely have a force to be reckoned with and that in time could quite easily become taboo for all the wrong reasons.

It's worth thinking about.

I think of it this way: most of us 'noids are so bad at loving anything other than ourselves (and some barely do that) that who are we to judge how others love. I tell people that when mankind in general learns to truly love everyone and everything, then and only then might God grant us the privilege to judge what forms it may take. Until then, we're making fools of ourselves, showing just how far from God we have become.

Pride and Gay Pride pt 1 [Essay]

Yesterday was the Christopher Street West (a.k.a. The West Hollywood Gay Pride) Parade and Festival. As usual, I went to the parade but skipped the festival itself this year. For those who have never been, it's a blast and definitely worth checking out at least once.

I could go into it's history and how it came to be, but if you are interested, they seem to do a pretty good job of recalling all that on their site.

Also as usual, I started my day with stumbling across the fundies (as I so nicely call them) a group of people who like to say they are there to love me by pounding home the idea that I am going to Hell for being gay. Well, as to that, I figure if God didn't want me to be gay, he shouldn't have made me that way. Just as heterosexuals never chose to be straight, I never chose to be gay either.

As is usual, they had the normal selection of Bible verses to quote from, though 2 come from Leviticus, they feel its fine to eat shellfish and their wives let them leave the house wearing cottons and wools and when was the last time ANY of them declared their wives unclean during her monthly visitor little less after childbirth. But though they have little to no interest in following the vast majority of rules and regulations of the book of Leviticus, they have absolutely no problem judging the guests and participants of the festival with them. People like that give Christians a bad name in my book and I find it such a shame that the majority of Christians don't do something about them.

I see the majority of these same people here every year and would have thought they might have had enough experience at the parades to at least ask some questions of the ideas and assumptions they made very clear in the conversations.

The first gentleman (I use that term loosely) would make some jack-ass statement and paint himself into a corner and instead of re-trying, he just got louder and louder. The second was more polite and we at least discussed the differences in our positions and made an effort at civility, if not courtesy. The third was as bad as the first except instead of getting loud, he would start throwing insults and really vile assumptions.

He would say that being gay meant that I was a drunkard and a lascivious sex pervert. I may have an occasional glass of wine with dinner and once in a while have a cocktail when I go out with friends, but I very rarely get plastered or even a bit tipsy, so drunkard is taking it a bit far. As far as being a sex pervert, I've been celibate (mainly) for the last 7 years. I have always been a bit old-fashioned in my dating in that I actually like knowing someone before I go to bed with them. Albeit, in West Hollywood, that makes dating a bit difficult but I don't spend much time there.

A friend had gone to the festivities with me and thought I was crazy for wasting my time in such a futile pursuit. I told him that I wasn't actually expecting any of them to become gay tolerant, little less friendly, but that you do it for the one single individual that later might actually look into the things I had said and have his heart, if not his mind, opened a bit more. Hence, why I get called a Spiritual Johnny Appleseed.

So what is being Gay? It's about being the person God made me and if that means being attracted to and loving those of the same gender as myself, so be it. For myself, Gay Pride is being just that and celebrating the diversity of God's creation by not letting simple and hateful people force me to be ashamed of something that I have little to no control over (I've decided to do a part 2 of this entry that will go into my personal history a bit on finding out about my being Gay).

To many people, being Gay is about going to bars and getting laid every day. That's a community activity that happens to most people when they come out of the closet. When you become aware that others are the same as you, that you are not a freak of nature and all alone, people have a tendency to over-compensate for the perceived loss of the experiences that most people get during adolescence. Though a hedonistic lifestyle has become a common and well publicized aspect of Gay life, these are nearly as prevalent in the heterosexual community, not a great idea for a central focus to a life beyond the crotch.

Though I am sure that many disagree with me, as far as I've been able to determine, the morality of nearly all activities is in the why, not the what. If I sleep with someone because I want to use them as a life-sized, 98.6 degree, breathing sex toy, I demean both them and myself. On the other hand, if I sleep with someone because I wish to share myself body and soul with them and they likewise with me, that's a beautiful thing and should be celebrated, not berated.