Decisions, Blame and Joy

So much to do, so many decisions to make and questions about it all. What to do next, what direction to take, which road is the one I want to be on and is it what it appears to be?

This is my current place in life, I expected it, I think I actually wanted it and now I have it, woo-hoo!

Do not get me wrong, I am not complaining about it, much, but one thing I realized on my trip was the answer for a question that I have been asking for many years and I often hear from friends, family and clients, "What am I supposed to be doing, what direction should I be going in?" Personally, I tend to throw in the "G" card as if it makes it a more valued question and not just the bigger excuse it really is.

On rare occasions, I find that the Universe has a specific plan set up for an individual, usually it is about following a general path of character and the one thing so many of us, myself included, seem to hate; making a decision.

Some of us like to get the opinions of others and then internally shift any responsibility or blame onto those who we listened to, God gets this one a lot I am sure...  LOL

Simply put it is all our choice and our decision to make, everything, every day.

What we forget is that, as Joseph Campbell used to say, "Follow your Bliss!" Your bliss is your Spirit passing along what is the correct answer, and only becomes problematic when we ignore it.

One thing to be aware of, bliss is not always what brings the easiest or happiest path in the short-term, in fact I find that from the short view it is often the harder and more painful of the options, at least at first. Most often it is the fear we have placed into our decision making process that causes our next step to seem so difficult.

I am in one of those places right now, I want to pursue my writing; both the Spiritgeek in general, like this blog, and the work with people in one-on-one settings, but I also need to come up with that lovely stuff called cash which seems to push toward getting a more traditional job, at least in the short-term.

So while I stall in making my final decision, not really final as I can always change it, I am working on both paths to see where they both may lead in the next week or so. I am actually open to either as one appears to be more direct, but the other may just be a way of taking care of other things that I may need before the other is quite ready.

So what am I going to do? I will know soon enough, I have been getting my personal little signs, I call them my déjà vu moments so I am reasonably comfortable with where I am and what I am doing. I find my inspiration to be a great help and am SLOWLY learning to trust it.

I know that joy is mine and that all things are perfect for their time and place and as much as I like to think otherwise; that includes me. If it includes me, it includes you as well!

ॐ शान्तिशान्ति
Robert Allen

The West Valley and Santa Susana Pass

OK, lets start with the down side of the last two days...

1. San Fernando Rd from Burbank to Mission Hills
   What a desolate road to walk along.  If you were to call Central Casting and ask for the most boring piece of road in the history of the planet, I suspect San Fernando Road would definitely get a call back. With the right angles, you could cast this street as any lonely highway through the desert.
   
   
2. Devonshire St across the Valley
Mostly residential and mainly middle to upper-middle class, there is just no life to this street and on a warm Valley day, well it could give Dracula a run on it's ability to suck the life out of living beings (of course it may just be that I don't like the Valley, Fer Shuure).

Mission San Fernando Rey de España

I had been to this mission once before, I cannot remember exactly why or when.  I arrived late Sunday evening and it was too late to get my passport stamped so I was going to have to spend the night.

Now tell me just how crazy this is, I actually called LAPD and told them what I was doing and that I needed to crash, where could I go and not be harassed for it. I had a very nice officer that not only offered to pray for the success of my quest, but basically told me that unless someone called to complain, anywhere was pretty much fine.

I asked about the park, unlike other LA Parks, there was no notice about hours and trespassing, so I thought it was worth checking.  He said that unless they had a complaint about something they would not be checking the park, so not only did I find a decent place to crash, but I found a spot with no sprinklers to worry about.  Sore butt was another issue!

In the morning I wanted to clean up before I went to the mission and there was a bathroom in the park to use. Now I have been asked on several cases about sleeping and bathing, so let me tell you that for the most part you can clean up anywhere if you have a washcloth, I do, soap, supplied or your own, and a sink of any kind. What I had not thought about was how to wash my hair; I did not have a cup and trying to use one of my water bottles was a recipe for frustration, so I decided to see if I could fit my big-assed head into this little sink, with a few bumps, bruises and words I am not going to repeat here, I determined I could and managed to de-skunk myself, sadly the question turned out to be, for what.

I went over to the mission and there were two ladies working the desk, one around 18-20 and an older lady who was definitely in charge. I asked if she would stamp my passport and she told me that there was a $5 charge for the museum and then basically threatened to withhold my stamp until I coughed up the money. I just didn't have it on me.

Though this weekend had been an interesting experience with people who were definitely the priests of the temple of money.

On this trip and with the warming weather, I do not take any chances with my water supply.  I keep two one-liter bottles on my pack and when the opportunity comes up to top them off, I do.  Most of the time I ask if I can get water, from fast-food restaurants, 7-Elevens, the occasional liquor store and/or gas stations, basically any place that has a soda dispenser because they most often do have a plain water dispenser (strange, who knew?).

I had a lady at a 7-Eleven tell me it would cost me 75¢ for about 16-ounces and at a small liquor store the gentleman said that the sink does not work, and yet he was drying a plate as I walked in, large industrial kitchen sink in the back of the joint. A few other places just looked at me as if I were speaking a different language.

None of these were huge impositions, so I really did not concern myself with it, but when I got to the mission and this woman tried to extort me for the five-dollars, I just thought (I think out loud), "How commercial."

Starbucks and Santa Susanna Pass

I was about to start the cross out of the valley via the Santa Susana Pass, but since I was not exactly sure how long this would take and my phone needed a charge, I stopped at the local Starbucks, Lassen and Topanga Canyon.

As luck would have it, one of my back-up batteries was taking its dear sweet time to the point I finally decided to just take what charge I had and get going.  Santa Susana Pass has a bit of a reputation for crazed drivers and some of its most remembered guests were the Manson Family while staying on the old Spahn Ranch in 1968, apparently the energy is still there.

I had been talking with some of the staff and what my plan was when Klarissia informed me that there was a bit more danger than I had anticipated and gave me details on where and how far to go to be safe.  She then asked if I would like a ride to someplace that she was sure I could camp the night as she lived in the area. I said sure (what, you thought I was going to say no?).

Here is one of those places where the Universe likes to mess with me.  As I was setting up the tent and getting ready to crash in short order, a young couple came walking toward me and asked what I was up to. I did not get a threatening vibe, so I explained that a friend had recommended the location for a one-night camp. They told me that I was right out in the open and some of the local homeless might mess with me and that it might be better to go behind the treeline.

My experience in such situations over the years is that people tend to get concerned when you look like you are trying to hide, so I tend to be right out in the open and it puts them at ease since nothing sketchy is possible.  We also talked about my trip a little and they decided that I was ok and they would go intercede on my behalf so that no one would mess with me. Cool!

About 15 minutes later, they came by again to inform me that the police would likely be coming by sometime in the morning as the group that lived further back had been given an eviction and tomorrow was the day they would be there to remove them, great...

Well, either the date was off, or I just happened to leave before the police showed up, but I got my first horizontal sleeping done in about a week and I got to use my tent, I like my tent, weird? I also managed to do some dreaming, my first on this trip, not anything I could make sense of, but dreaming none the less.

Ventura and Mission San Buenaventura

So today I am in Ventura and fellow El Camino Walker has opened his home to me for a short respite. I am finding my feet in much better shape than they have been and I have decided to take tomorrow off and continue on to Mission San Buenaventura on Thursday morning.  It is only about six or seven miles away and supposed to be an absolutely lovely walk. Then I start heading up the coast for Santa Barbara and all points north.

I am entering into an interesting phase of the trip.  I have been to Mission Santa Barbara and Mission Santa Inés, in Solvang, but I have never been further north in California than that, all unexplored country for me, a new beginning and a new place. I officially exit the known for the unknown and I am looking forward to it.

See you soon,

Robert

Fear and Laughter in the Apocalypse

I grew up in the Southern Baptist Church on the northern edge of the Bible Belt, St. Louis, Missouri.  Sometime in the late 70's, I was introduced to the Christian Apocalypse films and then in '81 the Jack Chick tracks and comics (I still read "The Crusaders" series on occasion), and the "End of Days" writings of authors like Hal Lindsey with his "The Late, Great Planet Earth" and other such media.

What is the Christian Apocalypse?

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The basic theology of the Christian Apocalypse is that the prophesies of the books of "Daniel" and "The Book of  Revelation" with a spattering of other verses from around the Bible that foretell the end of the world and the beginning of the new kingdom of Jesus for a thousand years.

If you read any of the "Left Behind" Series or saw the films (the first was pretty good, the second was OK, but the last one SUCKED) then you have some background in the Apocalypse as they did tell the most popular view of the Christian End of Days.

In short, you have the following events taking place:

• The Rapture - the followers of Jesus will be removed from having to experience the seven years of the tribulation. (Some believe that the rapture will occur either 3.5 years into the seven years or later)
• The rise of the Beast/Antichrist a world leader who ushers in a one world government
• Signs a peace treaty between Israel and its enemies for seven years
• The Beast will rebuild the Jewish Temple then blaspheme in it by declaring himself to be God
• The above-mentioned peace treaty will fail after 3½ years
• The armies of the world will meet on the plain of Megiddo, often called the Battle of Armageddon, and attack Israel to end mankind, except...
• Jesus will have his Second Coming and save mankind, set up his kingdom for 1000 years and have the Day of Judgment for all mankind

Apocalyptic Fear

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People frighten me more than the idea of the apocalypse or the end of the world, actually. What does frighten me though is the collection of people that think if they destroy the planet enough, they can hasten the Second Coming.

Somehow, I really doubt that it works that way, but I have heard a few preachers allude to it, which would explain so much of what we see in the world around us.

Many self-proclaimed Christian Republicans fight tooth and nail to remove all restrictions on business and any type of oversight on environmental destruction. It is very likely that a lot of this mentality is just good old-fashioned greed, but I cannot help wonder what stops a person from destroying the world around them when they believe that their God will rescue them from dealing with the repercussions of their actions, frightening thought that.

Apocalyptic Laughter

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One of the more humorous and interesting trends in popular Christian Apocalyptic stories is the idea that in Post-Rapture society, those Christians that were not "real Christians" and those who accept Jesus during the Tribulation will be social pariahs. One of the best examples is Cloud Ten Pictures 4-films series "Apocalypse" where they are constantly referred to by the masses as "Haters".

I find this label of "Haters" for the Christians to be humorous when one looks around at the world of today and we see, self-described Fundamentalist Christians hating anyone and everyone that they do not agree with while trying to create a Christian Theocracy to enshrine their beliefs as the law of the land (yes, it is a bit redundant).

I am so often saddened by the behavior of (self-proclaimed) religious people and the directions they choose, or are guided toward, to show their faithfulness. We see those who claim to follow a teacher that taught Love demonizing others for having the audacity to love in a different way. We have people willing to kill others for every perceived slight, no matter how small, of a teacher or prophet. The saddest to me are groups that teach their children to kill themselves and others in the name of God for their faith.

So I wonder sometimes if these authors are actually making a statement about the failings of their churches or if they are just oblivious to why people might look back and ask if their religion should be abolished?

Respect, not Tolerance

In today's world, we are often told that tolerance is a good thing, I disagree. Tolerance should be a good thing, but as I see it, there is an inherent judgement in the term that the dictionary definition only hints at.

Tolerance

1. capacity to endure pain or hardship : endurance, fortitude, stamina
   
   
2. a: sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own
   b: the act of allowing something : toleration
   
   
3. the allowable deviation from a standard; especially : the range of variation permitted in maintaining a specified dimension in machining a piece

Merriam-Webster.com
When we talk about people being tolerant of others, we are usually referring to the second definition, to have sympathy or to indulge, do you not see a judgement in there? Both imply that you are allowing something lesser than yourself or position. When we say Group A should tolerate Group B the implication is that Group A is right and the other is lacking but must or should be allowed.

Strangely, this often requires the members of Group B to make use of the first definition, to endure the scorn of Group A.

Recently, in the fields of Politics and Religion, we often see the third definition employed in an attempt to negate the need for the second definition. Group A believes it has the truth or some perceived standard that should be enforced upon the rest (not that they often live up to it themselves).

So what is the alternative?

²Respect - verb

1. a: to consider worthy of high regard : esteem
   b: to refrain from interfering with <please respect their privacy>
   
   
2. to have reference to : concern

Merriam-Webster.com
When others disagree with your positions, beliefs or lifestyle, do not judge them to be inferior to yourself by tolerating them, but respect them for what they believe.

In the gospels of the Christian New Testament, Jesus said to love those who persecute you, fantastic idea though rarely practiced in today's world. You cannot love something or someone you do not respect, so tolerating others is to demean them.

You may not agree for whatever reason, but not only is that difference what is supposed to make the United States so great, but if you respect vs tolerate their opinions, you leave an open space to discuss those differences. What an idea, an opportunity to learn, to grow and to better one's self through expanding your frame of reference.

So Respect differences, not Tolerate them.

Oh no the Devil didn't

I was brought up with the idea that the Devil was out there in a spiritual war with God and that all people were the pawns in this cosmological warfare. Later I learned about how I would spend eternity in either Heaven or Hell based upon how I fared in the above battle. I also became aware that unless I turned into Linda Blair's character in "The Exorcist" that a comedic punchline of my youth was impossible, "the Devil made me do it."

Short of possession, the Devil, or any other spirit, cannot make you do anything, at best they can suggest, lure or tempt. Think about it for a moment, if you are possessed, you are not in control, so how can you be responsible for your actions, the possessor is.

The awkward fact is that we are responsible for our actions because, like it or not, conscious or not, we made the choice to do the act. This choice is why we are "damned" by our actions.

I cannot help but laugh at this idea of being damned, it is so like us to create our gods in our own image. Judgment and punishment are what we would do, so of course our gods have to do likewise.

Salvation comes from our learning of such things so we can make better choices. Grace comes from the simple idea that no matter how lost we get in the "illusion" of this reality, our true selves are unaffected, we remain a part and parcel of God's totality.

So awaken to your choices and by becoming aware, you will do better with each attempt. Just remember when you slip up, be kind to yourself, learn from it and remind yourself, "Oh no the Devil didn't."

Be an original, swim upstream

I find it amazing how we change as we grow up (ewww) and older (ick). Since I wrote my last entry I have been looking back over my life and I have been very surprised at some of the things I used to do that I would not even consider doing now (as a pseudo grown-up).

One of the best dates I ever had came from a ride home. When we arrived at my place, I leaned over and kissed a nearly complete stranger. I don't know why, I wanted to and instead of being terrified of the outcome I just did it, predating Nike's "Just Do It" campaign by 4 years (Spring of 1984 vs July 1^st, 1988). I got a date out of it since the party kissed was so surprised by it they remembered me and later asked me out.

Some would say with age comes wisdom, I say they should stick that back in their butt where it came from and admit it for what it is, conformity.

We often hear about school students, particularly high school, and how far many will go to fit in, to be accepted and the lengths some are driven to by bullying and by being social outcasts.

As humans, we have a natural tendency to want to be accepted, particularly by our peers, but there are often times when the individual must stand up and say "I WILL or WILL NOT do (fill in the blank) because it is right or what I think or believe."

I am realizing as of late just how much strength and courage it takes to be an original, to swim upstream when everyone else is "going with the flow."

Get in the habit of being an original before you get older, it may be difficult now, but it is much harder to reclaim it later when you have created a life out of conformity.

Once you loose you voice it is even harder to find it again as I have recently become aware.

The Gloves Come Off...

Someone once said something along the lines of "The true fear is not that the Universe is unjust, but that it is truly just." This idea can strike fear into the heart of the stoutest human and cause the Earth to tremble on its foundations.

Religion, Philosophy, Theology and (sadly) Politics fall into the same vein.

The Orthodoxy is in the business of keeping the status quo and I have recently realized that much of the work I have done in the last few months has been very dissatisfying because I have neglected being authentic to myself and the way I express.  Instead, I have been trying to not "rock the boat" when what I want to do is tip it over and make everyone swim for a bit, even if only to awaken them a little.

I have nearly finished my current book, "10 Secrets to the Secret", but on reading it, where it's pretty good and will likely fit well on the bookshelf at what few bookstores remain open in today's world, I do not really want to put my name on it, It is just not my book on the Law of Attraction.

The same has been true for a while on this blog and my newsletter, they get the message across, but I see so little of me in it, I almost wonder if I am outsourcing it (now there is an idea, how much to get some Indian to write my blog? Hmmmm, they are likely to get the Sanskrit parts right a lot easier than I do).

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I, first, want to apologize for not having been true to my inspirations, and secondly, warn you that the tone around here is likely to change.  The part of my writing that I dislike the most is the lack of humor and fun.  I teach that Life is supposed to be an entertainment for the Spirit, I have been suffocating my chance to be fun in the name of "fitting in," screw that, it is not only making my writing boring, but it is beginning to kill me, literally and figuratively.

So the gloves come off! (Pass the hand cream!)

One of the inspirations I list on my website is Dr. euGene Scott, I realize now that not only was he right to present what was on his heart in his own way, but as I heard someone say earlier today, "God created you as you are, He celebrates when you are the you He made you to be."

So I am going to finish this entry off with the wisdom of a child, a young girl from Oprah Winfrey's school in Africa by the name of Lesego;

You are an individual. Act like an individual. Don't try to blend in. Blend out.

Authenticity

About a year ago, I went to a weekend seminar called "The Forum" as part of the Landmark Education Series. I really enjoyed the seminar and left with many interesting insights into the workings of the mind, defined by the context of the Forum as the bio-chemical brain, I define this as the part that acts as a signal processor from the physical world to the Spiritual one, a communications interface between the Physical and Astral bodies.

One of the areas the went into is the idea of "Authenticity" and how most people are inauthentic in their day-to-day lives. I understand this perspective, it is the same one that makes people like Bill Maher feel that all Religion is sheer foolishness and dangerous. When you judge something by the external representations given by men, it is amazingly obvious that many people would feel this way.

I think though, that Landmark and many others are looking in the wrong place for their perspective. The question is not if people are authentic, but WHAT they are authentic to? Simply put, EVERYONE is always authentic to something, but are they aware and/or honest about what it is they are being authentic to?

From the day-to-day perspective of people giving their word to something and then following through, most of us have become so bad at this that we come off as being quite in-authentic, hence the perspective of Landmark et al.

I had a discussion with someone a while back that was the most direct statement of authenticity that I can remember hearing, not only for the direct honesty, but because I truly doubt the person giving the statement had any clue just how honest they were being about the subject.

The details of the conversation are unimportant, but it had to do with the possible drastic measures that could be put into effect if people were not willing and/or capable of following through on their word. The received response was that if that happened that they would quit. The simple and direct statement was not only just a statement of pure authenticity, but showed that they were willing to put themselves through all sorts of extra efforts rather that follow through on the subject.

So what we need to do is not judge ourselves and others as being inauthentic, but to determine what it is that we are being authentic to. I will give you an example from my experience at the "Forum."

I wanted to take Spiritgeek.com from a side project and turn it into the central focus of my life, thus putting myself into the targeting sights of my Forum leader. At the time, I thought she was being really tough on me and not really listening to what it was that I was saying, but the issue was not hers, but mine. I was so listening to the justifications and reasons for what was happening that I had lost focus on what I was being authentic to.

In this particular case and time, I was being authentic to keeping a paycheck coming in, the stability of having my basic needs met by a job that was really beginning to cause me problems. I was becoming more and more unhappy with the current arrangements, but I was willing to pay for my stability, in a mundane sense, with the added stress of the work situation and the lack of peace that I was having in my day-to-day existence.

So the issue was not that I was being in-authentic, but what it was I was being authentic to. What areas are you authentic to that you are not necessarily aware of? Find them, decide if that is where you wish to be authentic in your existence and if not, change it.