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Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

July 4, 2013

A Constitutional Preamble for the 21st Century

Today is the 4th of July, also known as Independence Day.
Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain.
Wikipedia - Independence Day (United States)
Sadly, as the years have gone by and the dumbing-down of the masses has continued, Independence Day is quickly becoming the American equivalent to "Cinco de Mayo" with bar-b-ques and fireworks. Yes, I do know that Cinco de Mayo is not the Mexican Day of Independence, but in the U.S. it has become the Mexican equivalent St. Patrick's Day, basically a reason to get plastered, but since it is a federal holiday many get holiday pay for it.

As much as that is somewhat to be expected, what is actually much more sad is that the promise that many aspects of the foundation of the United States foretold, freedom, justice and this wonderful experiment in Representational Democracy, is in danger of falling to the wayside in the near future.

As a nation, there is what appears to be a very dangerous formula in the works and the outcome would be the destruction of the shining beacon that is the potential for a nation.

I was recently re-reading Baird T. Spalding's "Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East" and I was touched by how one of his guides on the trip was so enamored with the United States and its promise to the world for the future.

In recent years though, we have been witness to a fundamental shift in how America runs and the goals for which it appears to be pursuing, sadly from my perspective, they are as "Un-American" as anything Joseph McCarthy would have come up with.

I could go into detail on where we stopped being President Lincoln's vision of a "government of the people, by the people, for the people," and his belief that it "shall not perish from the earth." We have allowed ourselves to become a government of the Rich, by the Powerful Media Conglomerates and for profits at all costs without even thinking about the consequences of these changes.

So I have decided that the Preamble to the US Constitution, which was ratified nearly 12 years after the Declaration of Independence and is the highest law of the land, should be modified to address the view of those who have been given the country on a silver platter as follows:
We the [Rich and Powerful] People [and Corporations] of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union [for the protection of our profit margins], establish Justice [based on Christian Sharia], insure domestic Tranquility [through mind-numbing mass media], provide for the common defense [against the proletariat], promote the general Welfare [when we absolutely must or their labor is needed], and secure the Blessings of  Liberty  [Profitability] to ourselves and our Posterity [only], do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America[, Inc.].

August 1, 2011

Oh no the Devil didn't

I was brought up with the idea that the Devil was out there in a spiritual war with God and that all people were the pawns in this cosmological warfare. Later I learned about how I would spend eternity in either Heaven or Hell based upon how I fared in the above battle. I also became aware that unless I turned into Linda Blair's character in "The Exorcist" that a comedic punchline of my youth was impossible, "the Devil made me do it."

Short of possession, the Devil, or any other spirit, cannot make you do anything, at best they can suggest, lure or tempt. Think about it for a moment, if you are possessed, you are not in control, so how can you be responsible for your actions, the possessor is.

The awkward fact is that we are responsible for our actions because, like it or not, conscious or not, we made the choice to do the act. This choice is why we are "damned" by our actions.

I cannot help but laugh at this idea of being damned, it is so like us to create our gods in our own image. Judgment and punishment are what we would do, so of course our gods have to do likewise.

Salvation comes from our learning of such things so we can make better choices. Grace comes from the simple idea that no matter how lost we get in the "illusion" of this reality, our true selves are unaffected, we remain a part and parcel of God's totality.

So awaken to your choices and by becoming aware, you will do better with each attempt. Just remember when you slip up, be kind to yourself, learn from it and remind yourself, "Oh no the Devil didn't."

June 12, 2011

The Gloves Come Off...

Someone once said something along the lines of "The true fear is not that the Universe is unjust, but that it is truly just." This idea can strike fear into the heart of the stoutest human and cause the Earth to tremble on its foundations.

Religion, Philosophy, Theology and (sadly) Politics fall into the same vein.

The Orthodoxy is in the business of keeping the status quo and I have recently realized that much of the work I have done in the last few months has been very dissatisfying because I have neglected being authentic to myself and the way I express.  Instead, I have been trying to not "rock the boat" when what I want to do is tip it over and make everyone swim for a bit, even if only to awaken them a little.

I have nearly finished my current book, "10 Secrets to the Secret", but on reading it, where it's pretty good and will likely fit well on the bookshelf at what few bookstores remain open in today's world, I do not really want to put my name on it, It is just not my book on the Law of Attraction.

The same has been true for a while on this blog and my newsletter, they get the message across, but I see so little of me in it, I almost wonder if I am outsourcing it (now there is an idea, how much to get some Indian to write my blog? Hmmmm, they are likely to get the Sanskrit parts right a lot easier than I do).

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I, first, want to apologize for not having been true to my inspirations, and secondly, warn you that the tone around here is likely to change.  The part of my writing that I dislike the most is the lack of humor and fun.  I teach that Life is supposed to be an entertainment for the Spirit, I have been suffocating my chance to be fun in the name of "fitting in," screw that, it is not only making my writing boring, but it is beginning to kill me, literally and figuratively.

So the gloves come off! (Pass the hand cream!)

One of the inspirations I list on my website is Dr. euGene Scott, I realize now that not only was he right to present what was on his heart in his own way, but as I heard someone say earlier today, "God created you as you are, He celebrates when you are the you He made you to be."

So I am going to finish this entry off with the wisdom of a child, a young girl from Oprah Winfrey's school in Africa by the name of Lesego;
You are an individual. Act like an individual. Don't try to blend in. Blend out.

June 14, 2009

Gay Pride vs Robert's

Warning:
The following contains some language that may offend some...

It's officially Gay Pride Sunday in Los Angeles... The festivities are in full swing and the parade starts in about 10 hours and I am going with a group of wonderful friends.

But as much as I enjoy Gay Pride, there are two aspects of it that really yank my chain.
  1. I've never exactly understood what it is that I am supposed to be so proud of. To me, being gay is like being Caucasian, it's just who and what I am.

    I'm not proud of being 5'8" (172 cm), I'm not proud of naturally blond hair (though it's now turning grey/silver) and I'm definitely not proud of a genetic tendency to be short and stocky... If I'm not proud of those genetic traits, why should I be proud of the one that makes me gay?

    Those who think it is some kind of choice are either too stupid to awaken to the fact they didn't choose their heterosexuality and they obviously have never been on the receiving end of one of their rants of hatred, thinly veiled behind a "philosophy" of love, you know, the hate the sin but love the sinner... Right...

    To wake up one day and say to oneself, I think today, I will make myself a second class citizen, a pariah of society and unwanted by my family... If that truly were true, I would DEFINITELY be in need of a therapists help.

    The simple fact is that God made me the way that I am and he shows this particular paintbrush of uniqueness all over nature, so it is only "unnatural" as far as people judge it.... Screw 'em!

    Many people tell me that I should be proud of having survived everything being gay has brought into my life, while it is true they actually had a lot to do with me becoming the person I am today, but what a sucky way to go about it (guess I may be a spiritual drama queen after all).

  2. The other aspect of Gay Pride that gets to me is that I am so not the typical fag. I cannot dance, I couldn't care less about fashion (I actually found out that Jimmy Choo is a designer and not an accent issue for "Jimmy's Shoes" from "The Devil Wears Prada") and I am completely un-color coordinated.

    All the things people seem to think I should be as a gay man are completely outside my genetic makeup, I just don't have those genes...

    I don't know much about them, but I like cars, I also like computers, stereos and tearing stuff apart to see how it works.

    As far as sex goes, the straight-boy fantasy of the gay-sex-life is something I have NEVER really been either capable of, little less comfortable with.

    I live in LA where 9's and 10's run around like crazy and I am a 40+ cute, but nothing that's going to grab your attention and lets face it, men are visually stimulated creatures.

    There are times when I see the guys in the clubs and I feel like an alien visiting from another dimension since NONE of it makes any sense to me.

    As much as I would love to get laid more often, like a few times a decade, I just cannot become part of the 2AM discount sale at the local gay watering hole, I can't stay up that late and I want to choose or be chosen, not stuck with as the best option left (this isn't third grade dodge ball team selection).
So, I guess I will enjoy the Pride Parade, torment a few fundies by knowing their Bibles better than they do, and celebrate that we had the courage to tell the judgemental assholes out there to just go fuck off and be what we were made to be.

The simple fact seems to be that gay or straight, we all have our issues.

I think I got the gay genes that turn into shamans and others of service to their community, kind of lonely a lot of the time, but ultimately rewarding in the long run, even when it seems futile...

Guess God does have a sense of humor after all.

April 29, 2009

Do Humans Prove or Disprove Evolution?

I recently put the following up on my facebook page; "Are humans REALLY a viable proof of evolution? My cat seems smarter than most..."

I was specifically referring to how people believe themselves to be the ultimate form of life that exists on this planet, but is just as likely to destroy himself as to survive this adolescence our species is going though.

I think Douglas Adams put it very well when he wrote something like:

Man thinks he is the most intelligent of creatures because he has developed agriculture, civilization and cool little LED watches.

Dolphins know they are the most intelligent since they just did not worry about it.

My dad is a creationist. As I understand it, they believe that the world was literally created in 6 24-hour days approximately 6,000 years ago and that such theory should be taught in schools along with the Theory of Evolution as the source of life in this universe. I accept evolution as a process of life adapting and changing which can be seen around us to a certain degree.

It brings up 2 points for me:
  1. When I was in school, it was technically called the "Theory of Evolution" but you would have thought it was proven law if you dared to raise anything that questioned it. Ben Stein recently discussed this in his documentary "Expelled"

    The simple fact is that there is as much evidence to call the Theory of Evolution, as THE source of life, into question as tends to support it...

    Many items used to prove only work to a certain degree. One example that I remember was the creatures used to show the evolution of a horse' hoof. The hooves looked convincing, but I was dismayed when the skeletons were constantly changing size and other aspects of the animals had nothing that looked related, like ribs that changed number randomly.

  2. As much as I believe in a Creator that is outside of creation, to teach it in a science class would be questionable.

    Sadly, those who are somewhat anti-religious have a perfectly valid point when they point out that there is little to no direct evidence to support or disprove a creator.

    Also, since the above is somewhat true, I tend to think that such things truly due belong in a philosophy rather than a science class
So I begin to wonder if Darwin's theory, as far as Origins of life is concerned, may be disproving itself through human beings.

If we did evolve up through the species as Evolution claims, it would seem to me that we would have a more closely guarded relationship with the world around us.

As I told my dad once, my cats have enough sense to clean themselves, co-exist with their environment and not take a poo in their food dish, can we say the same about people?

We have been the indirect and sometimes direct cause of several of history's plagues though our beliefs in "dirt is from God and to wash it off would be offensive" to cats being the familiars of witches, destroy them and let the rat population grow unchecked and spread the Black Plague.

We rampage through what we KNOW to be limited resources, pollute the environment of the only place we have to live, for the time being at least, and in the name of convenience and profitability poison ourselves even if we bury our collective head into the sand like an ostrich.

So I'll ask it again, are we proof of the evolutionary origins of life or must we be something different?

August 3, 2007

Narcism, Einstein and a Little Extra

The other day, a friend sent me a joke that goes as follows:
Q: How many narcissists does it take to change a light-bulb?

A: One, he holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
Narcism is defined basically as "inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity." Now anyone who has seen Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt's movie "Se7en" knows that vanity, as pride, is one of the "Seven Deadly Sins" along with lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath and envy.

I read a few ears ago about a respected child psychologist that believed that children should never be reprimanded since it could, and likely would, damage their little egos. When we look around us at some of the stories that inundate us on the news about young and pretty people who seem to think that they are above the standards that are required of the rest of us. Some say it has to do with their celebrity, or as Stephanie Miller puts it "Celebu-tard", status.

We have created a world in Western Culture that cannot sustain itself without learning to become aware that the selfish, vain and single-minded view will lead to our destruction. We praise and adore those who are basically distract us from what we need to become aware of, truth and Truth. It's not hard to understand, but we can only run for so long. Like an alcoholic or drug addict, we can sedate ourselves into forgetfulness but eventually we have to deal with what issues were there in the first place.

The good news is that we, as the children of God, have the ability to change the reality when we are truly ready. Our Father created us in His image or so scripture says, unless we are not his children but just a toy, part of our birthright is the ability to create.

Einstein once said that if we learned to use our complete capacity of mind, we would no longer require physical bodies to interact with.

Let's learn to find the Truth that lies within and truly make the promises of the Messiahs a reality, Jesus reminded us by quoting Isaiah when he said, "Do you not know that ye are Gods?" but he also commanded us to "be ye perfect as your Father in Heaven is Perfect." I happen to believe he meant this, not as some lofty and unattainable goal but as a literal idea.

Being in fascination with ones self only becomes a problem when we forget that it's not our outer self, the body and position within society, that should be the subject of that fascination, but that which outlives the body it manifests that we are to look toward. In finding our REAL self, do we find Truth.

And now for something completely strange and different.

As many know, I am a Star Trek geek as well as a huge fan of the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and when I saw this this afternoon, I just had to put it on here as an s&g (for those who don't know, s&g is S@!ts and Giggles). As I have said on many occasions, life is supposed to be fun, so have some! Here's a little something to start you off on the right foot.

April 1, 2007

GodHatesShrimp.com

My friend Michelle has no idea what she has leashed out onto the the Christian Right next June.

Here in Los Angeles, we have several Gay Pride celebrations, Long Beach (which is usually right around my birthday), West Hollywood, LA Leather Week (I may have to check this one out...), LA Valley Pride & Pasadena's San Gabriel Pride.

Every year there is a contingent of (self proclaimed) Christians, aka "fundies", who show up to protest and generally make a nuisance of themselves. If you look at the entries from last June, you will see my usual trend to either ignore them or see if it is possible to have a conversation that doesn't degrade into a shouting match or something as ludicrous..

This year, I think we should play their game the same way they do, that's where GodHatesShrimp.com comes in. On their site, they had the following photo, as well as a few others...
GLBT Protest's Counter Protest
In one of the other images, the sign can be read better... Is says the following:
STOP THE SHRIMP-EATERS AGENDA
If we allow Shrimp, we allow Crab
If we allow Crab, we allow Lobster
If we allow Lobster, we allow Clams
and then Oysters...And then
Mussels... and Crayfish
STOP THE INSANITY
What a great idea... In another picture, someone else is holding a sign that references the appropriate scripture:
These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat: And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.
What a fantastic idea, either infiltrate them as this guy did, or have a segment where everyone has signs of different Levitican law that Christians ignore and make a point of passing them in the parades or other events and show their hypocrisy.

Another idea would be to have a large entry banner that says something like "Leviticus may say God hates Homosexuals, but what about..." and have each sign carry something and it's scriptural reference(s)... A thought in it's early stages, but it would be SOOO much fun.

July 13, 2006

BRB

As I let you know previously, I found an amazing apartment in Sherman Oaks and am trying to get everything packed and moved ASAP. No reason except that I just want it over with, I truly hate moving.

I'll be back as fast as I can since I have Internet Access already set up at the new place...

A little something for you to chuckle at... Enjoy...

 

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