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Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts

August 11, 2009

WTF and Y?

I get asked many things by people, I seem to attract the questions. That's cool, I actually like it, usually.

One of the questions I get asked a lot, particularly by people that actually read what I write here and in other places, is just what kind of f'n trip am I on?

I have previously mentioned how one of my early teachers, Joyce Meyer, made mention to the fact that people in the public eye tend to show just the "good" side of their personalities. It is this "show" of their goodness and the repression of everything else that makes them look like hypocrites when the "dark side" is exposed. Like the Apostle John says;

And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.

John 3:19-20 (KJV)
There have been many thing that have occurred in my life and actions that I have taken that I am not necessarily proud of, but I am not ashamed of any of them. Lessons come in all sizes and packages and the only thing I would be ashamed of would be to have learned nothing from them.

That's the past and simply put, there's not a whole hell of a lot that I can really do about it. I could try to hide things, but unless they are unknown to any and all living beings, there's always the chance that they may come out eventually, so why not beat them and just be straightforward about them all?

As far as some of the day-to-day stuff that I write about and some of the more outlandish things, they are all part of who and what I am. I am a human, I have wants and some things I tend to think of as needs, I feel love and pain, joy and sorrow and, God forbid, I am a healthy male who makes use of those "evil" parts down south.

I get such a kick out of those self-proclaimed purists who think to be spiritual that you have to give up all the joys and pleasures of the physical world. It's like I tell my spiritually vegetarian friends, "God gave me k9s to rip into meat and I like to on occasion." The same thing with sex, God gave me a dick and what sometimes feels like an overabundance of testosterone and I'm going to make use of it when appropriate (OK, and sometimes when it may not be...).

...where Life and Spirit become One!™

The tag-line on my page really is the essence of what I teach and how I live. Integrating Spirit into one's daily life isn't about depriving yourself, but in learning about the Truth of who and what you are.

Some people need to become ascetic in their path, at least for a while, so they can develop an understanding that they have been mistaken about things, but it's like the (slightly updated) adage about meditation; "Anyone can meditate in the quiet of a temple, but when you can do it during the half-time at the Super Bowl, then you know you can meditate."

Some of the less than traditional things I write and talk about are to express this idea, and to be honest, sometimes it's just to elicit a response, I like to yank people's chains to get their attention sometimes. It can be amazing to see what people do when you come at them from a 90° angle.

Like I have written so many times, Life was meant to be an entertainment for the Soul, not a trap or prison. As one finds Spirit and begins to integrate the two back into a single whole, that which is illusion and unnecessary will fall away on it's own.

For an example of what I am referring to check out an earlier blog entry called "The 2 Best and Worst Things for Your Sex Life" which gives an excellent example of what I'm talking/writing about.

Someone once wrote that when one finds their relationship to God and the whole of creation, things like the 10 Commandments become self evident. Why would one want to steal from another when they realize that they are really stealing from themselves, the whole collection goes from "Thou Shalts and Shalt Nots" to "no duhs" that seem obvious.

July 8, 2009

The 2 Best and Worst Things for Your Sex Life

If I had known that it was that easy to get your attention, I would have started writing about sex ages ago... ;-)

I have been thinking about sex a fair amount lately. Partially since my dance card has been so empty, but partially because I really haven't found what I'm looking for. Let me explain...

I recently discovered the two greatest things that happen to your sex life (no, it is not a little purple pill or topical ointment).
  1. Finding someone on the same "frequency"

    For those who have never experienced this, boy are you in for a pleasant surprise...

    The physical act of sex is immensely pleasurable and all, but the first time you meet someone that you are able to connect with on a higher level, a compatible vibe, a harmonic spiritual frequency, you'll know when it happens.

    In my practice I have had many people who have wondered what I was talking about until they experience it.

    It is because this seems to be rarer that I realized that I no longer judge people that get labeled as promiscuous (my favorite quote on this goes like this... Promiscuous is anyone getting laid more than you.).

  2. Finding the above is not just a single individual

    As much as I am a romantic at heart and am searching for the one that I wish to share the rest of my life with who feels the same way about me, I eventually realized the was not much point in being a depressed involuntary celibate.

    I have been fortunate to meet a few people that I could connect with in this way. Not only have I apparently been very lucky, but it opened my mind to the fact that there may be one soul-mate, but many soul-friends and some of them want it to be friends-with-benefits.
We, as humans, seem to be instinctively aware of something greater than our daily existences and while some are just looking for pleasure in the short term, I have begun to wonder if many people either have not been so fortunate or were once and are trying to recapture the high, kinda like drugs, as much as one may seek to numb the pain, the subsequent highs never quite match the original.

Many of the teachers would likely comment that this was due to looking in the wrong place, hunting pretty faces and nice bodies when what you are actually looking for is a favorable and harmonic soul. This would also explain why so many of us fall in love with someone completely outside what we thought we were looking for.

In the gay community of Los Angeles in general and West Hollywood in particular, the sexual culture seems to be to sift people by sex and if you find someone remotely harmonic, date them after the fact. Fine, but not something I am personally comfortable with for reasons that are about to become clear.

Now the other side of the coin, the two worst things for your sex life:
  1. Finding someone on the same "frequency"

  2. Finding the above is not just a single individual
So how can they be both the best and the worst? It is because once you taste something better, the old stuff just doesn't really cut it any more, it pales so much in comparison that it makes the other seem like a waste of time. It ceases to be satisfying. BUMMER!!!!!

Some would say that it is growing up; to which I say, "Do I have to?!?"

It makes me think of the line from the New Testament;

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11 (KJV)
There are times that I would like to tell the Apostle Paul where to stick it...

June 14, 2009

Gay Pride vs Robert's

Warning:
The following contains some language that may offend some...

It's officially Gay Pride Sunday in Los Angeles... The festivities are in full swing and the parade starts in about 10 hours and I am going with a group of wonderful friends.

But as much as I enjoy Gay Pride, there are two aspects of it that really yank my chain.
  1. I've never exactly understood what it is that I am supposed to be so proud of. To me, being gay is like being Caucasian, it's just who and what I am.

    I'm not proud of being 5'8" (172 cm), I'm not proud of naturally blond hair (though it's now turning grey/silver) and I'm definitely not proud of a genetic tendency to be short and stocky... If I'm not proud of those genetic traits, why should I be proud of the one that makes me gay?

    Those who think it is some kind of choice are either too stupid to awaken to the fact they didn't choose their heterosexuality and they obviously have never been on the receiving end of one of their rants of hatred, thinly veiled behind a "philosophy" of love, you know, the hate the sin but love the sinner... Right...

    To wake up one day and say to oneself, I think today, I will make myself a second class citizen, a pariah of society and unwanted by my family... If that truly were true, I would DEFINITELY be in need of a therapists help.

    The simple fact is that God made me the way that I am and he shows this particular paintbrush of uniqueness all over nature, so it is only "unnatural" as far as people judge it.... Screw 'em!

    Many people tell me that I should be proud of having survived everything being gay has brought into my life, while it is true they actually had a lot to do with me becoming the person I am today, but what a sucky way to go about it (guess I may be a spiritual drama queen after all).

  2. The other aspect of Gay Pride that gets to me is that I am so not the typical fag. I cannot dance, I couldn't care less about fashion (I actually found out that Jimmy Choo is a designer and not an accent issue for "Jimmy's Shoes" from "The Devil Wears Prada") and I am completely un-color coordinated.

    All the things people seem to think I should be as a gay man are completely outside my genetic makeup, I just don't have those genes...

    I don't know much about them, but I like cars, I also like computers, stereos and tearing stuff apart to see how it works.

    As far as sex goes, the straight-boy fantasy of the gay-sex-life is something I have NEVER really been either capable of, little less comfortable with.

    I live in LA where 9's and 10's run around like crazy and I am a 40+ cute, but nothing that's going to grab your attention and lets face it, men are visually stimulated creatures.

    There are times when I see the guys in the clubs and I feel like an alien visiting from another dimension since NONE of it makes any sense to me.

    As much as I would love to get laid more often, like a few times a decade, I just cannot become part of the 2AM discount sale at the local gay watering hole, I can't stay up that late and I want to choose or be chosen, not stuck with as the best option left (this isn't third grade dodge ball team selection).
So, I guess I will enjoy the Pride Parade, torment a few fundies by knowing their Bibles better than they do, and celebrate that we had the courage to tell the judgemental assholes out there to just go fuck off and be what we were made to be.

The simple fact seems to be that gay or straight, we all have our issues.

I think I got the gay genes that turn into shamans and others of service to their community, kind of lonely a lot of the time, but ultimately rewarding in the long run, even when it seems futile...

Guess God does have a sense of humor after all.

August 30, 2007

Morality, What or Why?

The following is a post I made this morning on InterfaithForums। I thought you might like to comment on it as well.

Enjoy the holiday!


I was reading another thread here earlier today and ran into one of those arguments that just makes my blood boil sometimes. Maybe it was just a touch too close to home, but as much as part of it had to do with closed-mindedness regarding something that is an integrated part of my life, it brought up a question that I run into on a regular basis.

Morality, is it about What or Why?

In the dictionary, Webster defines morality as:
  1. a : a moral discourse, statement, or lesson b : a literary or other imaginative work teaching a moral lesson
  2. a : a doctrine or system of moral conduct b plural : particular moral principles or rules of conduct
  3. : conformity to ideals of right human conduct
  4. : moral conduct : VIRTUE
Merriam-Webster
Most moralists claim to believe that morality is some combination of 2 through 4 but they tend to be most closely tied to definition #3. Traditionally, moralists think that they have a set of rules, divinely inspired or otherwise, and as long as you abide by them you are a good and moral person. I seriously question that since if that were the case, it would seem that the act that is immoral in one situation would be immoral in all situations.

Lets start with the example of killing another person. If my nation-state or recognized group is at war with your nation-state and I kill you in the execution of that war, I am not only moral, I may well be a hero, unless I break some rule of engagement. On the other hand, if I kill you because you looked at me the wrong way and I felt you had slighted (dissed) me, I am not only immoral, but likely to become incarcerated if I am found out. So the morality is not about the act of killing, but in the why I performed it.

We run into similar arguments regarding sexual orientation which is a much stickier subject. Some feel that if you are attracted to someone of the same gender as yourself, that you are by definition an immoral person. Somehow I suspect that God, who has been claimed to have chimed in with agreement to this position depending on whose interpretation you follow, is likely to be more concerned with why I am sleeping with someone rather than if they have an X or Y chromosome.

If I, a male, go to a bar and pick up another guy and we go home to get it on, am I immoral? If so, would I still be immoral if I had picked up a girl instead? I tend to think the morality come in the why. If I use you as a life-sized 98.6 degree sex toy for the purpose of getting my rocks off, I would say their are likely to be moral issues there, especially if I have alluded to having something more than a hook-up in mind as my intention.

So the questions I am putting out there are these:
  1. Is morality about what or why?
  2. If morality is about what, how can something be moral in one sense but immoral in another?
  3. If Why, by what basis do you determine the morality of a situation
Examples to show your case would be appreciated...

April 1, 2007

GodHatesShrimp.com

My friend Michelle has no idea what she has leashed out onto the the Christian Right next June.

Here in Los Angeles, we have several Gay Pride celebrations, Long Beach (which is usually right around my birthday), West Hollywood, LA Leather Week (I may have to check this one out...), LA Valley Pride & Pasadena's San Gabriel Pride.

Every year there is a contingent of (self proclaimed) Christians, aka "fundies", who show up to protest and generally make a nuisance of themselves. If you look at the entries from last June, you will see my usual trend to either ignore them or see if it is possible to have a conversation that doesn't degrade into a shouting match or something as ludicrous..

This year, I think we should play their game the same way they do, that's where GodHatesShrimp.com comes in. On their site, they had the following photo, as well as a few others...
GLBT Protest's Counter Protest
In one of the other images, the sign can be read better... Is says the following:
STOP THE SHRIMP-EATERS AGENDA
If we allow Shrimp, we allow Crab
If we allow Crab, we allow Lobster
If we allow Lobster, we allow Clams
and then Oysters...And then
Mussels... and Crayfish
STOP THE INSANITY
What a great idea... In another picture, someone else is holding a sign that references the appropriate scripture:
These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat: And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.
What a fantastic idea, either infiltrate them as this guy did, or have a segment where everyone has signs of different Levitican law that Christians ignore and make a point of passing them in the parades or other events and show their hypocrisy.

Another idea would be to have a large entry banner that says something like "Leviticus may say God hates Homosexuals, but what about..." and have each sign carry something and it's scriptural reference(s)... A thought in it's early stages, but it would be SOOO much fun.

March 4, 2007

Why Religions Hate?

The other day, I received a response from Rev. Don Spitz who was not happy about my previous entry where I mentioned the "Army of God." I put down a bit of a flippant comment of my own to his, but I did go check out his blog and see what he has to say.

There is currently just one entry where he has a single entry where he expresses his disgust for PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals ). They seem to have a couple of campaigns where they use a bit of tongue in cheek humor to put forth the idea that we should not eat meat which he feels is worshipping the created over the creator by quoting:

Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
Romans 1:25(KJV)
Cute choice since the verse is talking about the people who worship animal forms as gods as in idols and such forms. He seems to think that to respect life is to disrespect God. Sad...

After reading the entry and the article it points to, on the Army of God website, I sent him the following comment:

I am sure you found my blog by searching for the, oh so Christian, "Army of God" reference in my latest entry. Other than throwing accusations that I am refusing Jesus, based on what? I have no clue... I may not agree with your theologies, interpretations and dogmas, but I have no denial of Jesus, just the deified idol that people like yourself have turned him into.

As far as the Army of God is concerned, do you really think killing abortionists is any morally higher than being a "baby killer" yourself? Personally, I think it just makes you sound like a complete hypocrite, one reason to kill is immoral, but your reasoning is an acceptable reason... NOT!!!

In the context of the entry that you commented on: I do believe that Radical Christianity, such as groups like yours, are far more dangerous to this country than Radical Islam, which was the question (“Do you believe that Radical Islam is any threat to the world or us?”).

Your PETA complaints regarding their ads show that you are definitely in need of cultivating a sense of humor. I bet Jesus would have found them quite cute and humorous. Strange that his wrath in the Gospels was always aimed at people like yourself, Pharisees and Sadducees, who are so full of themselves and their holiness, that they had forgotten the spirit of the law for the letter (which brings death, if I remember correctly).

I am sure you mean well, but I will pray that some love for your fellow man might work its way into your heart sometime. If Jesus is nothing but a validation to justify your sense of superiority and judgment, I feel sorry for you.
Sadly, to many people the Reverend, and those like him, are what they believe Christianity is about. The word Christian means to be Christlike. Unfortunately, to most who use this title, it has become a badge of their superiority over their neighbors and others.

Why must we use God and religion to tear ourselves apart? The word religion originally meant "to bind fast" as in the "bond between humans and gods." Some have defined Religion as originally meaning "to re-link with God." I have always been tickled that the word "yoga" is Sanskrit for basically the same thing, "to join God."


I tend to be tough on Religions and Religionists since they have a tendency of turning religion into a justification for self-superiority and degradation of their fellow people, or worse; the local social club. Where this seems to have come in is via personal ego. When we follow one religious path or another, we tend to say "We have THE Truth" instead of saying, more properly, "We have an expression of the Truth." I have spent nearly two decades studying the scripture and teachings from as many religions as I can get my hands on, and after a while, you see direct correlations between them all. Religion is like a well cut diamond, each facet is another expression of the whole, no single facet entails the whole. When used properly, diamonds can be useful and beautiful, misused it can hurt, damage and in some cases even kill.

When we realize that we are all not separate, but part and parcel of God, that we are all encompassed by the totality of God, we loose the need to be in a seat of judgement over our neighbors. If you believe in the supremacy of and the omnipotence of God, the idea includes that God must be able to determine His/Her will and doesn't need us to go around killing our fellow humans, physically of spiritually.

December 7, 2006

Life, Love and Lance Bass

OK, I'm going to start off with the disclosure that Lance Bass has always been my favorite member of 'N Sync and once again, my gaydar was complete right about someone I don't know (strange, why can't it do that when I cruise in real life?). In case you are wondering, the first one was Greg Louganis and not in '84 when everyone fell for him. I first ran into Greg many years earlier when he was on the cover of the Boy Scout's magazine "Boy's Life" sometime in the late 70's. I had such a crush on him... Who knew years later, we would both grow up to be gay and former scouts?

I happened to be wandering around the internet the other day, when I noticed that there was a blurb that Lance Bass and his boyfriend, Reichen Lehmkuhl, had broken up. I dropped him a note via his myspace page with my condolences and holiday greeting as well as a congrats on his coming out (takes more guts then any straight can imagine, even in today's world). Now they, TMZ, say they may be getting back together. Hope springs eternal for 2 reasons that immediately come to mind.

Firstly, they make a really cute couple and it would be nice to see Lance beat the odds on his first(?) relationship actually lasting and not falling apart, but that might just be the hopeless romantic in me.

Secondly, depending on what he wants, Lance as a single man would either be the luckiest or unluckiest man in LA (OK, others are in the same position as well). LA (OK, West Hollywood in particular) is a city where everyone dances with their eye on the door looking for the next "best thing" to walk in.

If he's looking for "hook-ups", he's going to have the easiest time getting cute, hot guys to be able to bed. Good-looking guys will be falling all over themselves to sleep with him (Am I just a little jealous? Oh, hell yes! ;-P ).

If he's looking for something else, say a real relationship, he's going find it difficult to say the least. Los Angeles has never been the best place to find a good man, as Cameron Diaz's character says in "Charlie's Angels" during a fight scene with the bad girl, who has just broken her cell phone:
"Do you know how hard it is to find a quality man in Los Angeles?"
Dear, if you think it's tough as a straight woman, you should count your blessings you are not gay.

I sometimes wonder if the real reason straight men are so terrified of gay men (OK, they wouldn't call it that) is really from jealousy that, reputedly, gay men are about getting laid constantly. Now, I will be the first to admit that a lot of men are in that mental place, gay or straight (look at Tom Leykis). It can be fun for a while and as long as one plays safely, I think it's a natural part of growing up. For a gay man, having had to suppress one's true identity, seems to explode with an attempt to reclaim our lost youth via our sexual escapades.

Eventually, hopefully, we realize that sex for sex' sake is not really going do it in the long run. If we don't learn it, we get awfully depressed when we can't get laid to save the world as we get older. As much as I hate to admit it, in my 20's I was completely screwed up about sex and in my 30's fairly disinterested and now in my 40's looking for what it is I was really looking for in sex, companionship and someone to share a life with.

As a mystic, I am quite aware that there is little that this world can offer that would bring true happiness, but there is one item that I will continue to want, even when it makes me miserable; a partner. The rest of it you can have, money, fame and all the other crap that this world offers. I know it for the illusion that it is and while having "things" isn't so bad, I've been without them in the past and somehow I managed to survive.

If thinking about Lance wasn't enough, now Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter Mary is expecting and because she is a lesbian, many members of the Religious-Right (neither) are voicing their objections. I heard one say that she was denying her child the "god-given right to both a father and a mother." Somehow, I suspect that the baby won't care what chromosomes the parental units have, he/she will just enjoy being loved and that is what "family values" are all about.

The question of same sex marriage comes up and think about what it would mean when it comes to both of these.

For Lance and every other gay man, we would have something more than sexual prowess to strive for since there would be a goal that could be looked toward. If you are going to label people perverts for having sex outside of marriage, you have to allow them something more, otherwise, you are talking out your ass.

For Mary Cheney, her child will never have the legal protections for the family that a straight couple would have. They reside in Virginia and with the laws there and in several other states, Mary's partner, Heather, will have no legal claim to the child if something should happen to Mary. This is family values? God, I hope not.

Well, if nothing else, we wish our best for Lance in the future and give our congrats to Mary and Heather on their expected bundle of joy.

June 24, 2006

A Personal History of these X-ians

The following is a copy of a post that I made to a site I stumbled across called God Hates Westboro Baptist Church. The sight is a recent startup commenting on the collection of "God Hates..." sites this so called church runs.

Enjoy!




I use the title of X-ians in the same way that X-mas is used to remove Christ from the holiday. These people are not Christians (meaning to be Christlike) by any teaching of Jesus' that I am aware of.

I have had a fairly long history with these people over the years. I believe the first time I heard from them was from a group of Fundies at the West Hollywood Gay Pride Fest where I was given a tract and if the name hadn't been so offensive, I would most likely thrown it away.

At the time, I had a job that allowed me plenty of time to surf the web and work on my personal projects. One night I spent several hours going through their website and seeing many things I remembered from telling my parents about me...

I grew up a Southern Baptist on the northern edge of the Bible Belt.

After reading the vast majority of the site, I realized a few interesting details:

After the last 2 in particular, I was curious about an apparent contradiction in their theology. So, like the trusting idiot I have been known to be on occasion, I sent them a very polite e-mail asking how they justified it.

Basically, I asked "if I'm Gay because God hates me and there is no way for me to get into heaven because he has washed his hands of me as you state in your FAQ, why show up at funerals and basically rub salt into the wound, little less depriving me of what little joy I might find in this life since, by your understanding of the scripture, I'm damned eternally?"

Now, to be honest, I never really expected a conversation or much beyond maybe a curt thank you with a few misrepresented verses. What I got instead was an e-mail account that started being flooded with junk mail till my provider asked me to change the address. Now I can't prove it came from them, but most of it was of the same high-brow caliber as the site itself.

For those of you who may not be familiar, these are the people that showed up at Matthew Shepard and is currently showing up at fallen soldiers funerals (with their recent site GodHatesAmerica.com) since as a nation we are now hated by God for being tolerant of homosexuals amongst other ideas.

The sad fact is that these people actually mean well, they just worship a god of hatred and judgment and are in need or our love and saintly attempts not to squish them into oblivion. 8-P Seriously, they need our pity more than our retaliation.

If we judge them as harshly as they judge others, what do we do but lower ourselves to their level and become infected with the same venom that has won their hearts and souls?


 

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