A Eulogy for Ms. Birdie

OK, this is not the blog entry I was planning to write today, I will finish and publish it later, but today, I am in a dark space, I saw it coming, but I ignored it, we all tend to.

There is one thing that we all tend to avoid, the passing of friends, loved ones and family. Many do not accept the idea that pets can be friends, loved ones and family, they obviously have never loved an animal that does nothing but love you back, even when you probably do not deserve it.

My oldest, Ms. Birdie, is on her way to her next life.

I find myself going through all the questions about what to do, how to react, what to respond as we all do when these times come up. It is a fact of life, as Wayne Dyer quotes Deepak Chopra:

“Life is a sexually transmitted incurable decease”

All living things in time pass to be returned to the star-stuff of which their bodies are made and Spirit continues to advance on its journey of education and experience on its way back to Source.

I ask myself if I should do this or that, what is most helpful, what is respectful and appropriate? My two girls are the closest thing I expect to ever have in the realm of children and at my age, possibly the closest thing to a lover.

I have a good day and they are waiting for me to share it, I have a bad day and they are waiting to help me get a grip and give me an outlet for whatever I need to expel.

It is a shame that people spend so much time "not loving", it is such a gift. I am currently working on an inspirational piece and in one of my notes I was contemplating the difference between angels and humans;

Angels are designed around Service at their core while Humans are designed around Love. For an Angel, fulfillment is found through the performance of whatever task has been handed to them. Humans find fulfillment through the manifestation of the Love that is at their core.

I spend so much time writing and talking about how much time and effort we put into judging EVERYTHING! Imagine how much joy we would have time for if we lived life like our pets, loving everything and just being what we are at our core?

Oh, I know that the religions like to tell us that we are evil at the core, that darkness is our nature, and that God will only love us if we live by ideals that even most of his teachers (little less their followers) can live up to. Even Jesus has his moment of doubt, look at the Garden of Gethsemane. If that were not enough reason to question the "official" proponents of the assorted gods of hatred, sadly, that is where a lot of the followers are taught to take their religion.

Love just is, it has no strings attached, no rules to be followed, no "things" that earn it, it is eternally free and is not only abundant, but in unlimited supply. The more of it that you give away, the more that it will find its way back to you and the more avenues you allow it to enter, the more unique places you will find it.

Like a pet who is at the door, love just wants to be let in, love will never desert you, it will never turn its back on you, only you can turn your back on it and I think the biggest travesty is that those who should be telling you this, instead, hold it out like the gold ring on a carnival ride. That is not love, that is a power grab.

So Ms. Birdie, please forgive me for those days I was not the loving being that you were so trying to teach me to be. Thank you for spending such a large piece of your life trying to get through my hard-assed head and thank you for sharing my life, know that you go with love.

Is Gay the new Jew?

Not long ago, while DOMA and California's Prop. 8 were being heard by the U.S. Supreme Court, there was also a collection of stories in the news from around the world, same-sex marriage bans, criminalization of saying anything pro-gay and in some places, the possibility of being imprisoned for life for being honest about it in one's own life. Russia has since declared open season on gay men.

About the same time, I saw a collection of stories that asked the question, "Is Gay the new Black?" The population of Americans of African Ancestry sometimes come across as if they hold some unique history of suffering in their past, similar to speaking with Jews about the Holocaust, as if only 6 million Jews were killed and not 5-6 million non-Jews as well. We really seem to love and take pride in our pain.

While I was working on the previous blog entry, "Judas Iscariot & Adolf Hitler", I was really re-awakened to how the Nazi Party and Adolf Hitler used longstanding cultural hatreds to persuade people to do and allow despicable things to be done to others.

I am often amazed at the things people are willing to justify to validate their need to demonize those who think, feel, believe or love differently then themselves. There seems to be a nearly pathological need in the human ego to be right and to make others conform to its view of rightness.

While thinking about the one and hearing about the other, I started to compare the three: Black, Jew and Gay. In many ways I found them to be surprisingly similar from a "haters" perspective.

All three have collections of people who deny their personhood because of aspects of themselves, the hated, are not in control of; yes, it is possible to convert your religion, but Germany was interested in bloodlines and you can deny your sexual orientation, but I cannot imagine that is ever a happy and fulfilling relationship for either party.

From the specific view of the fight for civil rights, Black and Gay have many similarities, but I think in many ways, Jew and Gay are much more in alignment. Race, somewhat cannot be hidden. A light-skinned person may choose to pass for whatever reason, but most do not have that option open to them.

Jew and Gay are both things that in the "predominant society" can be kept quiet and hidden away into those secret places, both require a statement of self to make others aware.

Both have suffered from cultural and historic misunderstandings and persecutions for standing up for who they are. In many places, it takes serious personal strength to admit to those around you what you are, and if you come from a more Orthodox background, to wear the clothing that will mark you as an outsider, how much less to be a "girlie-boy" and just be what God made you.

The lies of Jewish persecutors have ranged from the ridiculous to the laughably insane, with the need to demean another to justify the hatred and invalidation of another; Christian babies are slaughtered for their blood for Jewish religious rituals, get real. Homosexuals have likewise been slandered in the need of an unquestioning majority to justify the ability to validate bashing; Gay men cannot procreate so they must recruit your children. Gay men cannot be near small boys as they will want to molest them, but the fact that most men on boy sexual assaults take place by self-proclaimed heterosexual men.

As far as Germany goes, in the concentration camps, Jews were given the golden Star of David to demarcate them from the other populations, but in the hierarchy of the social structure, as much as the Jews were hated by Germans and other prisoners, there was a group of lower status, they wore a pink triangle to show them as homosexual.
Either way, Black, Jew or Gay, the simple fact is that "if you can hate one, you can easily hate another" (if you know who said that, please let me know) and yet:

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.”

Herman Hesse
I often wonder what aspect of race, religion or orientation triggers within ourselves and what place that self-love/loathing inhabits? I firmly believe that to be truly human, will eventually require each of us to look within and find those self-loved spots that we have been taught to feel shame for that allows us to deny personhood to another, whatever the reason.

“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”

Michael Jackson

American Fantasy #1 - The Republican Party Supports Christian Values

I really have no interest in writing about politics, as far as I'm concerned George Carlin got it right years ago;

Poli: Latin for many
Tics: Small blood sucking creatures

In today's world though, politics and religion have become so intertwined that to talk about the one requires thinking of the other (just where did Separation of Church and State go?!?).

In some ways, I guess the current religio-political nightmare has shown some improvement; in the election of John F. Kennedy it was wondered about electing a Catholic and now we have a Mormon running and making it through the "Christian Litmus Test" (that may have more to do with the Mormons being overwhelmingly Republican and voting in line with the Christian Right than with Christian acceptance).

The Creation of the Modern Neo-Conservative Republican/Christian Alliance

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In the late '70's and into the '80's the United States the influence of Francis Schaeffer [ Correction: where Francis Schaeffer was also instrumental with these Christian Leaders, I meant to reference Paul Weyrich ] began to grow within the Christian Right and he has often been referred to as the Father of the Modern Christian Political Movement. He is often credited by many of the "players" of the movement such as Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and Gary Dobson as a major inspiration.

When I think about the union of these two groups, I have always wondered about what a strange set of bedfellows they make. Both are absorbed in value systems that seem on fundamental levels to be at odds with the other.

The Republican Party has been solidly a pro-business party since 1896 in the eyes of many. As a party there is the fundamental belief that business should be given a freehand and as little interference from government as possible (a dangerous idea to my view if you have no consequences for bad behavior).

This view has laid the fundamental groundwork for two financial crashes, though some say the Market Crash of 1929 and the Great Depression may have also been manipulated into being by the supported business interests of the party, greed often appears to run hand-in-hand with many of these policies.

The Party's stance on Personal Responsibility is another area where they seem to be at odds with the ideals of the Christian theology. I agree that people should be responsible for themselves as much as possible, but even with the best planning and intentions, things can go wrong and a safety net to help one recover would seem to be in line with Christian values.

The business policies of the party the last few decades has been such that many people have been forced out of their jobs and yet the party feels no compulsion to help them through the transition, seeming to take a "it's their own fault" attitude. The more extreme members seem unable to see any link between the policies and the results.

The Riding of Christian Voters for Republican Aims

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With the underlying core values of the party of late, I have always thought that unbeknownst to the Christian Right, the Republican Party has been taking them for a ride. Many members of the party may subscribe to Christian Values, but the aspect of the party that is all about business, money and corporate culture are only interested in the voting blocks, not the issues if one looks at how they run their businesses. My Dad often said that "actions speak louder than words" and in this case, what are their actions?

• Closing employment opportunities here and shipping them where they can basically get away with slave wages
• No regard for those that have been harmed by their actions
• Destruction of resources in the name of profit and little to no regard for the damage caused
• Negligence in their operations where it was in the interest of the "bottom line"

The people who operate in such a fashion likely find the Christian Conservatives easy bedfellows, the vast majority of things that the Christian voting blocks ask for cost little to nothing. The Christian voting block is not asking for money to feed the poor, educate their children, supply health care, redress the damages caused in the service of business' bottom-line (you would think those who follow a teacher who says things like; when you feed the poor, you feed me, would want these things).

In the last few years we have seen that these voters will often vote against their own best interest in support of candidates that are clearly owned by the business interests. If a candidate does not cut the financial mustard, they are accused of being pro-choice, anti-Israel, pro-gay rights or same-sex marriage. The "dog and pony show" kicks into high gear and sadly the voters drink the Kool-Aid with a smile on their lips and a song on their heart.

So I repeat, I do not think that the Republican Party leadership is Christian any more than they absolutely feel they have to be so they can manipulate a large block of votes on election day. I have noticed several leaders of the Christian Political Arm starting to admit to thinking the same thing.

So look at the actions of the party, outside the realm of religious thought and see if it truly supports the philosophy that Christianity teaches. See if the party will support you when you cost it money.

Many people consider Fox News to be the voice of the Republican Party,  a friend of mine recently told me that that is an illusion. Fox News, in his opinion, is the mouthpiece of Corporate Culture and the Mega-Rich and will drop the Republican Party the moment the party is no longer in step. Is it possible that the Republican Party feels the same way about the Christian Right?

Loving an Opposing Inspiration

Earlier today, I ran into someone on Facebook that I had not heard from in ages, Joni Eareckson Tada. Now it turns out that it is really more of a fan-page as she does not actively participate from the look of it.

When I was a kid, I ran across the book "Joni" which touched me in a way that few books ever have. It is the story of a young woman, Joni Eareckson, with everything ahead of her that has a diving accident one summer and ends up a quadriplegic and her coming to grips with that and the skills she found after-wards. I was so impressed with her artwork that I used to own a piece many years ago.

I had the pleasure of meeting her in 1981 during my great Southern California adventure that I have written about in the past.

One of the things that surprised me was the near immediate response that I received from several friends that were shocked that I would "Like" her since she is a signer on the Manhattan Declaration, a call for assorted Christian members to not comply with laws against their religious beliefs in areas like abortion and same-sex marriage. I believe that I had heard about it on the news, but I did not pay it any heed, why should I?

One of the areas that the Christian Right has never understood is that a law saying such things may happen do not require you to partake in them. I have always found it somewhat laughable to listen to people who act as if legalizing same-sex marriage means straight men are going to be required to do so or that Roe v. Wade is going to force women to have abortions.

We seem to have developed a culture in this country where if someone disagrees on any one subject, especially a hot button topic, that we are supposed to shun them and disavow any knowledge, friendship or support. I will not do it.

I have found Joni to be a shining star in my life who made me rethink many things in my life over the years and a pillar of strength when I have had tough times, no matter how bad, I still have functional arms and legs.

One of the pieces of the book I have always remembered was a place where Joni's power-wheelchair tipped over in a parking lot and she scraped her face quite badly. Her reply was something like; "why my face, the only place I can feel?" I have had days like that where it was like why this one thing when it was so important, at least in that moment.

I may not agree with everything she thinks and may even be diametrically opposed in some, but that will never take away from the respect I have for her in so many other areas of her life.

Many of the friends that responded badly felt that I had betrayed them, I would say that I have proven my worthiness as a friend in that I will stand by them when they do something I disagree with, it will take more than one thing to get rid of me.

I would say that it is more Christian to show love and compassion for someone against you on some issue than many self-proclaimed Christians offer to those who differ from them. It is easy to love someone who is always with you, but it takes a bit of work to get beyond some disagreement and still be there for them. I believe Jesus commented on this when he talked about loving ones enemies.

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To Joni,

My heartfelt appreciation for your story, your beautiful artwork and for making a young man feel welcome when the opportunity presented itself nearly 30 years ago.

My prayers and hopes, along with Reiki healing energy, to help you get through this troubling time with your recent diagnosis.

Shanti,

Robert

The 2 Best and Worst Things for Your Sex Life

If I had known that it was that easy to get your attention, I would have started writing about sex ages ago... ;-)

I have been thinking about sex a fair amount lately. Partially since my dance card has been so empty, but partially because I really haven't found what I'm looking for. Let me explain...

I recently discovered the two greatest things that happen to your sex life (no, it is not a little purple pill or topical ointment).

1. Finding someone on the same "frequency"
   
   For those who have never experienced this, boy are you in for a pleasant surprise...
   
   The physical act of sex is immensely pleasurable and all, but the first time you meet someone that you are able to connect with on a higher level, a compatible vibe, a harmonic spiritual frequency, you'll know when it happens.
   
   In my practice I have had many people who have wondered what I was talking about until they experience it.
   
   It is because this seems to be rarer that I realized that I no longer judge people that get labeled as promiscuous (my favorite quote on this goes like this... Promiscuous is anyone getting laid more than you.).
   
   
2. Finding the above is not just a single individual
   
   As much as I am a romantic at heart and am searching for the one that I wish to share the rest of my life with who feels the same way about me, I eventually realized the was not much point in being a depressed involuntary celibate.
   
   I have been fortunate to meet a few people that I could connect with in this way. Not only have I apparently been very lucky, but it opened my mind to the fact that there may be one soul-mate, but many soul-friends and some of them want it to be friends-with-benefits.

We, as humans, seem to be instinctively aware of something greater than our daily existences and while some are just looking for pleasure in the short term, I have begun to wonder if many people either have not been so fortunate or were once and are trying to recapture the high, kinda like drugs, as much as one may seek to numb the pain, the subsequent highs never quite match the original.

Many of the teachers would likely comment that this was due to looking in the wrong place, hunting pretty faces and nice bodies when what you are actually looking for is a favorable and harmonic soul. This would also explain why so many of us fall in love with someone completely outside what we thought we were looking for.

In the gay community of Los Angeles in general and West Hollywood in particular, the sexual culture seems to be to sift people by sex and if you find someone remotely harmonic, date them after the fact. Fine, but not something I am personally comfortable with for reasons that are about to become clear.

Now the other side of the coin, the two worst things for your sex life:

1. Finding someone on the same "frequency"
   
   
2. Finding the above is not just a single individual

So how can they be both the best and the worst? It is because once you taste something better, the old stuff just doesn't really cut it any more, it pales so much in comparison that it makes the other seem like a waste of time. It ceases to be satisfying. BUMMER!!!!!

Some would say that it is growing up; to which I say, "Do I have to?!?"

It makes me think of the line from the New Testament;

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11 (KJV)
There are times that I would like to tell the Apostle Paul where to stick it...

An Open Letter

I don't know what insanity took over me to actually send this, but I just mailed the following letter to 365Gay.com's submission department, the Human Rights Campaign and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

Hello,

I am a life coach and spiritual teacher, not a legal scholar in any sense of the word, but I have been wondering about this legal question ever since I heard about the ballot initiative that became Prop. 8 after the California Supreme Court overturned Prop. 22.

If there is any validity to the questions, I would appreciate if this could be forwarded to someone who could put it to good use.

As you know, in 2000 California voters passed Proposition 22 which placed the following text into the California Family Code as Section 308.5:

Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

This single line of text was overturned by the California Supreme Court as a violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the California Constitution.

Proposition 8 placed the exact same text, literally, into the State Constitution as Article I, Section 7.5. Now the questions are as follows...

1. Since this line of code has been determined to be in violation, does it cease to be in violation now?
   
   
2. Does it make a difference that this exact code was found to be invalid before it was even qualified as a ballot initiative? I think this may be the first time that a law has been added after being declared unconstitutional.
   
   
3. In what ways would this invalidate Proposition 8 and if nothing else, does this create any kind of Constitutional Crisis since it introduces an ambiguity into the Constitution?
   
   
4. If the above is correct, how does one go about bringing this to the attention of of the Supreme Court, or whatever process this has to go through to have it ruled upon?

I have heard several cases are being brought into the court, but they seem to the same old cases that never seem to go very far very fast. This would seem to be the most direct and expedient path if it is valid.

Once again, if this is of any validity, would you please send it on to anyone who can make use of it.

Thank you,

Robert A. Burgener

We will see if I get any responses...

Politics, Religion and I – pt 1

This blog is not really about politics, but in today's world, with religion and politics becoming more and more intertwined; I spend a lot of time discussing politics with clients, students and practitioners. I am always reminded of the following line:

When religion and politics ride in the same cart, the whirlwind follows.

Rev. Mother Romallo
"Dune" by Frank Herbert

So lets get into it and see what we can make of things...

First of all, I am neither a Republican or a Democrat, I am what George Carlin used to refer to as a free thinker. I find out as much as I can about the issues and/or the candidates and then make my own decisions.

I will listen to the corporate media in this country for their perspective, but I am quite aware of the fact that they tend to slant their presentations and their coverage based upon their own needs, read financial. I have no doubts that the media in America has a vested interest in politics for both access and financial reasons.

The access can be many things, but one that I became aware of in 2001 was from several friends at Disney who said that the ABC News division had been made aware that if they presented stories that were not in the interest or perspective of the Bush administration, they would find access restricted. What does that mean? Two quick examples...

1. Every media outlet, supposedly, has members in the White House Press Core. While the administration would not evict a reporter from a network or outlet, they may never be called upon to ask questions during a press conference or just very late into it.
   


2. We all see those lovely interviews on Sunday morning and other times with the big players in Washington. What does a network do when they can only get 2^nd or 3^rd string interview?

I think the part of this that bothered me the most was that I have always been a firm believer in the concept of a free press and this was a slap in that ideal's face. It became even more frightening to me after September 11, 2001 and the things that happened in Washington and the media afterwards.

The Republican fall from grace

I was raised in a Southern Baptist Republican home. I was taught many things that have stayed with me until this day and in many ways find myself agreeing with many policies of "conservative" politics. Now before you freak out about this, understand that when I speak of "conservative Politics" I am referring to it as it was by Barry Goldwater, the father of conservatism.

This form of conservatism involved the concepts of self-responsibility and government staying outside of the privacy and sanctity of the home. Funny, the neo-conservatives of today would classify Goldwater as a left-leaning liberal by their current stances.

For me, the Republican Party started to fall out of favor during the Reagan/Bush administration. I became quite aware that many of my friends were getting ill with GRID, as AIDS was called at the time, and the administration did not care. The people getting this strange illness were homosexuals, drug addicts and immigrants; people the Ronald Reagan didn't count as part of his America.

I always found it a touch ironic that he later cut the funding for Alzheimer's disease and the same disease would be a substantial player in his own later life and death. There was a joke (?) that went around for a while that went something like: He forgot 100,000 Americans during his presidency and later forgot everyone else as well. A touch crass, but many people still hold strong feelings about the lack of care by the "Compassionate Conservatives" of the time.

During the Clinton Presidency, the Republican Party continued to show its true colors by spending years and millions trying to remove Clinton from office. The looked into and screamed about every appearance of impropriety. Basically they came across, to me at least, as a bunch of spoiled children that were unhappy they did not get their way.

Later, as a nation, we were told that when President Clinton wanted to do something about Osama bin Laden, that there was nothing to it and all he was trying to do was divert attention from the Monica Lewinsky scandal that was going full force at the time, August 1998. Three years later we would find that the target had been valid.

By the time the current administration came into power, sic, I had pretty much lost all respect for the party as a whole, but I also realized that the party has been co opted by two differing factions with completely different goals, one though was more than willing to manipulate the other. These two opposing forces that seem to have united are the Religious Right and the Corporate Elite, for lack of a better name.

The Religious Right has a morality that is based upon its belief structure and the only aspect of it that gets to me is their attempts to encode these beliefs into the law of the land. I support the privilege to live as one chooses, but forcing others to abide by it is just wrong. Sadly, these people tend to believe that morality is about rules and regulations; if this is the case, then lawyers are the most moral individuals out there.

The other group that has seized power in today's Republican Party is the Corporations and "Special Interests." Now I have no problem with business making its voice heard, but it has been a serious mistake to allow Corporate culture all the rights and privileges of the citizenry with none of the responsibilities or moral ethics required of individuals. Corporations only do the right thing when it is profitable to them; this has been mandated by the Supreme Court in some of their decisions.

I think that the Religious Right is in for a rude awakening when they awaken to the fact that they have been used as a voting block and the "Business" side does not share their morality and will dump them as soon as they become a burden or less than profitable.

To be continued...

And so it begins...

A month ago, I wrote about the fact that the California Supreme Court determined that discrimination along the lines of "separate but equal" had been overturned and Same-Sex Couples would be allowed to legally use the term "marriage" and as of 5:01pm today, it has taken affect.


I just finished watching the first same-sex couple in Los Angeles, Diane Olson and Robin Tyler, together for over fifteen years, get married on the steps of the Beverly Hills courthouse where they had been denied a marriage license every Valentines Day for the last eight years they had applied for it.

In San Francisco, the mayor of that city was also performing a marriage of a couple that had been together for fifty-five years; Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 84.

Of course some closed-minded pin-head, not very enlightened of me, but when you hear someone yell "you will be burning in Hell" during a ceremony, I loose my perspective a bit. Agree with it or not, have some respect, but if there is anything that the Religious Right (ick - they are not right and if they would actually read their Bibles, they would know it.) has shown, neither respect for differing opinions or common courtesy can be expected from them, sad is it not?

The part of this whole argument that really gets to me from the, self-proclaimed, moralists is that with all their arguments, they obviously have no idea what a marriage is supposed to be. It's not about the genders of the parties involved, but commitment to become two who come together as one.

May all those in the Gay and Lesbian community that decide to enter into marriage do so for the right reasons, love and commitment, and in time, maybe we can show these closed-minded individuals what a marriage is supposed to be.

Would it not be hilarious if we turned out to be better at keeping marriages together than our Christian brothers and sisters who think we will be the death of marriage?

Same-sex Marriage & the Conservative Right

The California Supreme Court today overturned California Proposition 22, from the 2000 election, which attempted to define that only marriages between a man and a woman would be recognized by the state.

SECTION 1. This act may be cited as the "California Defense of Marriage Act."

SECTION 2. Section 308.5 is added to the Family Code, to read:

308.5. Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

Of course the traditionalists and the religious right are not going to be happy in the slightest about this and I completely expect that the usual claims that this is going to destroy marriage is on the horizon. I also expect that Pat Robertson will be having a mental meltdown on Friday's edition of the 700 Club, more on him and a few of his recent statements later.

I am sure that the religious right was not taken completely by surprise since they have been gathering 1.1 million signatures to qualify a state constitutional amendment to deny same-sex marriage, Initiative 07-0068.

SECTION 1. This measure shall be known and may be cited as the "California Marriage Protection Act."

SECTION 2. Article I, Section 7.5 is added to the California Constitution, to read:

Section 7.5. Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

The actual text is identical, but by adding it to the state's Constitution, the current ruling would be trumped.

We could go into the lower arguments that the very people that claim same-sex marriage will destroy the institution also have some of the highest divorce rates and little regard for marriage outside their personal interest, but let's look at a few of the "better" arguments that I have heard as of late.

Pat Robertson has never really been one of my favorite people, but as of late he has developed a near Ph.D. in "hoof in mouth" disease. Here is an excellent example...


Other than the usual fear tactics of what "gay and trans-gendered" people are going to do and the other usual verbal diarrhea, my favorites are as follows with the time marks for interesting places to look.

1:04-1:50	:	Pat feels that maximum of 2% of the population is "gay" and 1% are "lesbian" so it is acceptable to discriminate against this nominal number since they do not make up 10-20%.
2:21-2:47	:	Though he hasn't the courage to actually say it, he feels that marriage is only about reproduction since he has repeatedly stated that when two men or two women can procreate, he would be willing to reconsider his objection to same-sex marriage. This argument has always made me wonder why these people claim this argument when they would never refuse a heterosexual couple the privilege of marriage if they had no intent to have children, by choice, biology or age...
2:47-3:10	:	"The reason we protect marriage is children." OK, so let's change the laws so that marriage is only available to couples having children and dissolve said marriages when the children are no longer at home.

These so called objections are not really arguments, but simple excuses that non-thinking individuals will accept. Pat and those like him are more than happy to condemn people in "cults" for drinking the arsenic laced kool-aid, but when it comes to there own poison laden kool-aid, drink and be happy...

oh yes and "saved."

Morality, What or Why?

The following is a post I made this morning on InterfaithForums। I thought you might like to comment on it as well.

Enjoy the holiday!

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I was reading another thread here earlier today and ran into one of those arguments that just makes my blood boil sometimes. Maybe it was just a touch too close to home, but as much as part of it had to do with closed-mindedness regarding something that is an integrated part of my life, it brought up a question that I run into on a regular basis.

Morality, is it about What or Why?

In the dictionary, Webster defines morality as:

1. a : a moral discourse, statement, or lesson b : a literary or other imaginative work teaching a moral lesson
2. a : a doctrine or system of moral conduct b plural : particular moral principles or rules of conduct
3. : conformity to ideals of right human conduct
4. : moral conduct : VIRTUE

Merriam-Webster

Most moralists claim to believe that morality is some combination of 2 through 4 but they tend to be most closely tied to definition #3. Traditionally, moralists think that they have a set of rules, divinely inspired or otherwise, and as long as you abide by them you are a good and moral person. I seriously question that since if that were the case, it would seem that the act that is immoral in one situation would be immoral in all situations.

Lets start with the example of killing another person. If my nation-state or recognized group is at war with your nation-state and I kill you in the execution of that war, I am not only moral, I may well be a hero, unless I break some rule of engagement. On the other hand, if I kill you because you looked at me the wrong way and I felt you had slighted (dissed) me, I am not only immoral, but likely to become incarcerated if I am found out. So the morality is not about the act of killing, but in the why I performed it.

We run into similar arguments regarding sexual orientation which is a much stickier subject. Some feel that if you are attracted to someone of the same gender as yourself, that you are by definition an immoral person. Somehow I suspect that God, who has been claimed to have chimed in with agreement to this position depending on whose interpretation you follow, is likely to be more concerned with why I am sleeping with someone rather than if they have an X or Y chromosome.

If I, a male, go to a bar and pick up another guy and we go home to get it on, am I immoral? If so, would I still be immoral if I had picked up a girl instead? I tend to think the morality come in the why. If I use you as a life-sized 98.6 degree sex toy for the purpose of getting my rocks off, I would say their are likely to be moral issues there, especially if I have alluded to having something more than a hook-up in mind as my intention.

So the questions I am putting out there are these:

1. Is morality about what or why?
2. If morality is about what, how can something be moral in one sense but immoral in another?
3. If Why, by what basis do you determine the morality of a situation

Examples to show your case would be appreciated...

Gay Pride and Sour Grapes (maybe...)

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING
Some harsh language is in this post

Last weekend was the Christopher Street West Pride Festival in West Hollywood. I skipped the parade and only went to the festival for a couple of hours which also means that I skipped the annual attack of the "fundies" aka Christian Fundamentalists.

I just wasn't in the mood to be swamped by, a reported, 300,000 people. On top of that, I have really felt a bit out of sync with the WeHo gay community the last few years.

As much as I enjoy having it there and available for those infrequent occasions that I feel like drinking and dancing, the fact is that is that as far as WeHo is concerned, I have been categorized as completely un-fuckable. Since I am over 30, don't have a perfect body and/or more money than God, the boys want to play with with other little playthings like themselves.

As much as I like to stick it to the Christian Right in this country about their judgemental bullshit, their argument of homosexuality and immorality has a basis in fact, though not in the way they think of and some of it is their own fault as well.

If there is an inherent immorality in being gay, it's not in the gender of whom you sleep with, but why. With the fundie fight to deny gay people the right of marriage and in many places the attempts to deny them even the rights of a civil-union, the fundamentalists leave gay people with no way to be anything but fornicators. With the laws being what they currently are, there is no solution except to maybe be celibate (I don't think so).

If anyone has any doubts that heterosexuals would be just as sexually promiscuous if they didn't have to worry about pregnancy, well they are just kidding themselves. Straight or Gay, men are men and as someone once said, "A stiff prick hath no morals."

Back when President Clinton was attempting to open military service to openly gay and lesbian people, I heard a radio talk show where someone called in and asked why straights hated gays so much. No I can't remember who it was that said it, but their response was amazing, it went like this:

Straight men are afraid that Gay men will do to them,
what Straight men have been doing to women for the past 10,000 years.

Now, I know no straight men that would admit it, but I do know a few who have commented that gays have it lucky to get laid and not have to worry about creating the proverbial "bun in the oven."

I chat with many people on the internet and amongst the gay ones, they nearly always tell me that they would love a long-term, committed relationship with that someone special. The sad part is when you meet them in person, they fall back into the trappings of gay cultural ideas such as needing to get laid on the first date or there is no second one. Too bad, I rarely sleep with someone I don't know.

Such things kind of remind me of a scene from the movie "Latter Days". One of the characters, a pretty party-boy named Christian has brought some guy, named Mort, home and Mort started rimming him and Christian asks if they could talk a bit. Mort misunderstands and starts talking dirty. Christian tells him that isn't what he meant and explains that he wants some conversation. Mort seems to think that would be a bit to intimate to which Christian responds; "a moment ago you were practically tonguing my spleen, but a little conversation is too intimate?" Mort thinks Christian is too kinky and leaves, as strange as that sounds, it's not that far from the truth in a strange sort of way.

Now don't get me wrong, I couldn't care less what others choose to do in the privacy of their own lives, but if we are going to fight for the rights and privileges of marriage, wouldn't it be a good idea to show some personal responsibility in our community?

There are some who say that part of it has to do with our stunted sexual growth as gay people in a predominantly straight world. Straight guys just can't seem to get the idea that while they were changing from girls being gross and vulgar "things" to something of attraction, they could stare, flirt and work their way through whatever personal issues they may have had and work their way to asking them out. At the same time, gay youth are going through much the same, but they are quickly finding out that those unlike themselves are potentially dangerous to them socially if not in some cases physically. They learn to hide and do not get to grow through the "awkward" stages. When they finally get to the point where they come out and find a community of like people, they tend to act out with a vengeance. Sadly, many never really grow out of it and end up feeling like an outcast amongst the young and beautiful.

Let us as gay, lesbian and trans-gendered people start to grow beyond what we have been and grow into what we may be. In many cultures, homosexuality was not only accepted, but celebrated. In some cultures, the trans-gendered were celebrated and considered to be an omen of goodness. Let us remember we don't have to be the stereotypical "gay" anymore than we were the expectation of heterosexuality.

Mixed Feelings...

It may be a mistake to put this online since many will find it disturbing to read and might question how I could feel this way, but after thinking about it, I wanted to be honest about things.

Many years ago, I was watching Joyce Meyer when she commented that people in the public eye only show their good side. I decided that if I ever was in the position that people wanted to know me, they would know all of me and that includes things like this and these feelings, to only show the nice and pleasant side would make me a hypocrite in the highest manner and I don't want that.

---

I was driving earlier today when I heard about the passing of Jerry Falwell this morning. I must admit that it has really made me pause as I have REALLY disliked this man for over 20 years.

When I first came out to California in 1981 and was in a religious half-way house off Hollywood Blvd, he was one of the many people we were allowed to watch on television, only the local TBN (Trinity Broadcasting) and Dr euGene Scott on whatever station he was on at the time.

I became a fan of Scott when the infamous "Amazing Grace" scandal took place and Falwell was one of the many ministers that blasted Scott for not being able to sing worth a darn. I always got the feeling that Falwell was a stick in the mud and a few years later became convinced that my original opinion had been correct. Around late 1983 to early 1984, the AIDS epidemic was taking hold and Falwell in his usually tactless fashion stood in his pulpit and declared AIDS to be "God's judgement on homosexuality" while claiming it was due to Gay people's flaunting the will of God. Two of my personal favorites that are attributed to him are:

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh's charioteers.

After he said such things, I became part of the collection of people who would request his information and then stuff it full of junk mail or paper shreds and send it back to him so that he would have to pay the postage. It must have worked since not long after, he stopped sending postage paid envelopes.

My first car had a bumper sticker on it that read:
The Moral Majority
is neither
I have been trying to think of something nice to say since I have always felt you should say something kind of the dead and the only thing I can think of is that he died quickly and didn't linger.

As much as I feel for his family and those who will miss him, I find it nearly impossible to find any sorrow for him. The fact is that he made his bed of hatred and will spend some time dealing with the repercussions that will have upon his soul and its karmas. It is apparent to me that I have been infected with his hatred and will have to work on that and make sure that I never fall into the trap of it that he seems to have.

As much as this bothers me to write this, I find it amazing to know that I really have that much animosity towards him. I would never have wished him harm, but that doesn't mean I'm going to miss him in the slightest. I heard a little while ago that former President Jimmy Carter once said of Jerry Falwell that "he could, in a most Christian manner, go to hell." Jimmy Carter is such a kind man that it really tells you what kind of man this must have been to elicit such a comment. The sickening part is that in the name of "political correctness" everyone will be saying such nice things about someone that many despised so heavily.

The saddest part is that this man had the opportunity to lead many souls to God and instead, though I'm sure he would have thought otherwise, he damaged many and I know a few that he and those like him have basically killed with their hatred and closed-mindedness, if there is anything that I am sad about, these lost chances would be it.

A Restoration of Faith...

I just finished breakfast and was thinking about last night. For those who are not familiar, I work for a small car service in Los Angeles as a driver and though we don't do much in the way of "industry" business, we do some directly and via "farm outs" from other companies, going to the Spirit Awards.

Yesterday, I spent the day on one such farm out. I went to one of the Hotels on West Hollywood to pick up someone I had never heard of, a "Suzanne Davis" (not really, but it was something similar, we must protect the innocent). I called up to let them know that I was downstairs and waiting, to which I was told they were running a bit behind and would be down in about 30 minutes. Something about that voice sounded familiar, hmmm.....

About 30 minutes later, a young couple came down and came over to my car, God, they sure looked familiar. I asked, "Ms. Davis?" and she smiled and said "yes" and they got into my car. As they got in, Ms Davis said "Hi, my name is Neve and this is my brother Christian."


We drove to Santa Monica Beach where a collection of large white tents had been set up and I dropped them off and found a parking spot a short distance away. As I got out of the car, I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a few years as well as received an invite to lunch from one of our other drivers at the event.

I'm not going to go into exhaustive details on the day and everything that happened, but after the end of the show and the after party at the Shutters Hotel, we were joined by Alan Cumming and his partner Grant Shaffer. Alan had helped produce and acted in "Sweet Land", which won the Best First Feature award.

When we left the party, we went back to the hotel in West Hollywood so Neve could get something a little warmer to wear. They decided to grab some dinner in the restaurant and Christian came out to move his car, a good idea in West Hollywood with the "Parking Nazis".

While he was out, we chatted for a bit and I just knew that I knew him from somewhere. I mean, he's an actor, so I'm sure I've seen him before but this was something more, either it's on a personal level or something he was in that I truly loved. I had felt familiar since I picked them up and it was REALLY starting to get under my skin and bug me.

I called a friend and asked her to help me since she had a computer handy with an Internet connection. It didn't take long for me to feel like a complete ass. It turns out that Christian was in one of my favorite gay films of all time, "Trick".

It's the story of a young musical theatre writer who meets a gogo-boy and spends the rest of the night looking for a place to trick (catch a quickie). Needless to say, they don't have an easy time of it, between bitchy drag queens, broken hearted piano bar singers and a best friend who is completely clueless and self absorbed (played beautifully by Tori Spelling). Definitely worth seeing in my personal opinion.

I really wish I had gotten an opportunity to tell Christian just how much that film has meant to me over the years and that it will always hold a special place in my heart.

As a driver in Los Angeles, you meet a lot of people, some rich and famous and some just regular people who need to get somewhere. Most are decent people who couldn't care less. Of those who are famous or quite wealthy, they tend to be a bit wrapped up in their own little worlds and a bit dismissive of those they perceive to be their inferiors, like anyone not worth what they are or outside their circle of "special People". It's not just actors in this town, but it kind of like high school with all it's little cliques and such.

The funny thing is it kind of reminds me of when I lived in Long Beach many years ago. A friend and I would go to this club full of snotty, ego-centric pretty boys who wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire in the parking lot. The funny part was that when we would go to the bath-house and I would run into the same little stinkers who would practically drag me into their rooms to make out, fun if slightly bewildering, it was the early 80's.

When I have found myself past the guard gates, people assume that you belong there and accept you as an equal. If they only knew...

This was not an issue of any kind for me yesterday with the Campbells and Mr. Cumming and his partner, they were all so very nice and pleasant and made me feel glad to be spending the evening with them. If I were to try to describe the situation from a movie, I would guess that "54" would have the right scene, in the New Jersey coffee house on Christmas day, watch it and see what I mean.

After seeing so much of the vile and nasty behavior that many people do toward each other in the name of greed, selfishness and ego, it was an amazing breath of fresh air to spend an evening with such nice, real and authentic people that it truly helped to restore my faith that under all our silly nastiness as people, we can still be civil human beings and some of the best can still be famous at the same time.

Life, Love and Lance Bass

OK, I'm going to start off with the disclosure that Lance Bass has always been my favorite member of 'N Sync and once again, my gaydar was complete right about someone I don't know (strange, why can't it do that when I cruise in real life?). In case you are wondering, the first one was Greg Louganis and not in '84 when everyone fell for him. I first ran into Greg many years earlier when he was on the cover of the Boy Scout's magazine "Boy's Life" sometime in the late 70's. I had such a crush on him... Who knew years later, we would both grow up to be gay and former scouts?

I happened to be wandering around the internet the other day, when I noticed that there was a blurb that Lance Bass and his boyfriend, Reichen Lehmkuhl, had broken up. I dropped him a note via his myspace page with my condolences and holiday greeting as well as a congrats on his coming out (takes more guts then any straight can imagine, even in today's world). Now they, TMZ, say they may be getting back together. Hope springs eternal for 2 reasons that immediately come to mind.

Firstly, they make a really cute couple and it would be nice to see Lance beat the odds on his first(?) relationship actually lasting and not falling apart, but that might just be the hopeless romantic in me.

Secondly, depending on what he wants, Lance as a single man would either be the luckiest or unluckiest man in LA (OK, others are in the same position as well). LA (OK, West Hollywood in particular) is a city where everyone dances with their eye on the door looking for the next "best thing" to walk in.

If he's looking for "hook-ups", he's going to have the easiest time getting cute, hot guys to be able to bed. Good-looking guys will be falling all over themselves to sleep with him (Am I just a little jealous? Oh, hell yes! ;-P ).

If he's looking for something else, say a real relationship, he's going find it difficult to say the least. Los Angeles has never been the best place to find a good man, as Cameron Diaz's character says in "Charlie's Angels" during a fight scene with the bad girl, who has just broken her cell phone:

"Do you know how hard it is to find a quality man in Los Angeles?"

Dear, if you think it's tough as a straight woman, you should count your blessings you are not gay.

I sometimes wonder if the real reason straight men are so terrified of gay men (OK, they wouldn't call it that) is really from jealousy that, reputedly, gay men are about getting laid constantly. Now, I will be the first to admit that a lot of men are in that mental place, gay or straight (look at Tom Leykis). It can be fun for a while and as long as one plays safely, I think it's a natural part of growing up. For a gay man, having had to suppress one's true identity, seems to explode with an attempt to reclaim our lost youth via our sexual escapades.

Eventually, hopefully, we realize that sex for sex' sake is not really going do it in the long run. If we don't learn it, we get awfully depressed when we can't get laid to save the world as we get older. As much as I hate to admit it, in my 20's I was completely screwed up about sex and in my 30's fairly disinterested and now in my 40's looking for what it is I was really looking for in sex, companionship and someone to share a life with.

As a mystic, I am quite aware that there is little that this world can offer that would bring true happiness, but there is one item that I will continue to want, even when it makes me miserable; a partner. The rest of it you can have, money, fame and all the other crap that this world offers. I know it for the illusion that it is and while having "things" isn't so bad, I've been without them in the past and somehow I managed to survive.

If thinking about Lance wasn't enough, now Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter Mary is expecting and because she is a lesbian, many members of the Religious-Right (neither) are voicing their objections. I heard one say that she was denying her child the "god-given right to both a father and a mother." Somehow, I suspect that the baby won't care what chromosomes the parental units have, he/she will just enjoy being loved and that is what "family values" are all about.

The question of same sex marriage comes up and think about what it would mean when it comes to both of these.

For Lance and every other gay man, we would have something more than sexual prowess to strive for since there would be a goal that could be looked toward. If you are going to label people perverts for having sex outside of marriage, you have to allow them something more, otherwise, you are talking out your ass.

For Mary Cheney, her child will never have the legal protections for the family that a straight couple would have. They reside in Virginia and with the laws there and in several other states, Mary's partner, Heather, will have no legal claim to the child if something should happen to Mary. This is family values? God, I hope not.

Well, if nothing else, we wish our best for Lance in the future and give our congrats to Mary and Heather on their expected bundle of joy.

What and How pt 2 [Essay]

Where I ended this Sunday morning works really well. We had just come full circle and were able to come back to the scripture of my youth with a clean slate, so to speak.

I sometimes think that indoctrinating children into religion is both good and bad. It's good in that the young get exposure to the idea of something greater than themselves (which in the world of today, is sorely lacking any controls on their little, ahem, egos) as well as the idea that there is more to life than making money. But some churches go to far in the indoctrination for my taste. It's great to familiarize children with Bible verses and stories, but when you start instilling the religious zealousness we see growing around us, I think you do them harm.

Telling children about God is like the old story about children and sex:

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Little Billy walks up to his Mother and asks, "Where did I come from?"

Knowing that this would come up at some time, she had prepared and went on to tell her child about the birds and the bees.

Upon completion, she looked at Billy and said, "Does that answer your question?"

Billy paused for a second and then replied, "I don't know, Tommy's from Cincinnati; where did I come from?"

---

Most children are not ready for deep theological arguments of creeds and doctrines and telling them that their little friends are going to Hell because they are not _______________ (fill with your denomination or religion) is actually quite hateful. It's bad enough that in the name of safety and concern we steal our children's innocence away from them, but must we start them down the road of closed minds regarding explanations of that which most of us don't understand?

After having made my way around the track and coming back to the Gospels, I could see what was there and even though the programmed interpretations still popped up on occasion, they were controllable since I knew them for what they were. It's one thing to believe what we are told and do it knowing that we are following another's teachings, but it's another thing completely to do it without realizing it. I run into so many people who spout theologies that they have learned in church from their pastors, but have no idea where they came from. Funny, though not one of Martin Luther's 95 Theses against the church; he translated the Bible from Latin to German so that the people should have access and the authority to read the scripture for themselves.

I sometimes wonder why people even give their children Bibles. Not the children's Bibles that are basically story books using scripture as the source, but actual Bibles. If these people ever actually read the book, they would never put one in the hands of a small, immature, child. There's murder, sex, nudity, hatred and other things that are not appropriate for kids.

Now don't get me wrong, I happen to love the Bible and find it to be an excellent body of work to learn from, I just think that it should get at least a PG-13 rating (Strange that the same people who feel that the Harry Potter books are too much for kids will hand a child a Bible that makes them look tame).

I have been accused of being very tough on Christianity and Christians in general, that I paint with a very broad brush. To some degree it is true, I am tough on the followers who make a general ass of themselves without taking the time and energy to understand what they are saying. I am also tough on it because it is the dominant religion in this country and (as has been seen lately) being publicly overrun by zealots who are not that different from the Fundamentalist Muslims they like to rant about.

I had someone say, when I made the above comment, that "at least Christians were not telling each other to blow themselves up in the name of God and take as many innocents with them." Currently, no (though a few have hinted at doing just as heinous acts) but our history as Christians is just as bloody and vile with Crusades, Witch-hunts and the Dark Ages. We have no business casting stones from our glass towers.

I have noticed in the study of Religious History that most groups tend to deify some aspect of the sources. The Jews deified the Law of Moses, the Christians--Jesus, the Muslims seem to be deifying the culture that the Prophet Mohammed lived in. The tendency is usually followed by an egocentric explosion to the "unclean" which certain sects of Muslims are currently experiencing. The only true difference between Christians then and these Fundamentalist Muslims now are the tools of destruction are infinitely more devastating.

I wrote someplace else the following:

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The origin of the problem lies in the egocentric idea that most religions and schools of thought promote in their students that they have the "one and only TRUE way" (emphasis usually implied). The difficulty is that when one questions their tradition, the assumption becomes that one is implying that their path is not a "true way", when actually the question should be; is it the "one and only?"

---

When you get past the cultural referencetraditionsitions and get to the actual messages, you find that Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, Lao Tzu and a plethora of others all were saying the same thing: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Or as Krishna puts it in the Bhagavad-gita; "Just fix your mind upon Me, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and engage all your intelligence in Me. Thus you will live in Me always, without a doubt."

What and How pt 1 [Essay]

I'm sitting in Downtown Los Angeles on Olive, just south of 7th St, waiting for a customer who is at a wedding on the next block. Kind of boring, but it's what I'm paid to do as a chauffeur. At least I'm on the clock.

I was looking over the recent posts and if you were not aware of it, you might think that this blog is about being gay or gay rights. While I am gay and I do care about my rights and the possibility of meeting someone and getting married someday, it's not my main concern by a long shot. I guess it's because it is June. June has always been a big month for me as a gay man since it is when the majority of the Pride Celebrations take place and in response, the less open minded usually start doing their burning-in-hell dance.

This blog is mainly about Spirit and the day-to-day thoughts and experiences of exploring that Spirit.

I am a student (predominantly self-taught) of comparative religion, theology and philosophy. Basically, I am fascinated by the plethora of expressions of God, the Higher Power or whatever you want to call it/him/her.

Personally, I think English needs a new gender pronoun for expressing that which is beyond gender. "He" or "She" ends up alienating many people for a fair sized collection of reasons and "It" just seems insulting. I wouldn't be to surprised if I figure out and coin a new term, but I haven't a clue as of yet...

When I was a child, going to Rock Hill Baptist Church in St. Louis, MO, I found church interesting, but frustrating. On some level, I knew that the truth was there someplace, but it wasn't in what I was being told.

When I told my parents about my being gay, they didn't take it well and there was a bit of a backlash that I hadn't really expected. About the same time, our pastor gave a sermon that went something along the lines of how if one accepts one part of the Bible, one must accept the rest. Well, having been brought up in the Southern Baptist Convention, I knew there were many things in the Bible that the church not only disagreed with, but actively condemned.

When I left the church, initially I left God and all thoughts of Him as well. I was of the opinion that if any God was going to allow these things to be done in His name, screw Him. If this is where God was, I wanted nothing to do with it. I kind of threw the baby out with the bath water.

Not long after this, I started pursuing interests in religion that were out of the mainstream. About this time, I was introduced to the Hari-Krishnas, the Baha'i, some Japanese Buddhists and a couple of witches. Now at the time I wasn't really sure what to make of any of them, my Southern Baptist upbringing being somewhat offended, but they all seemed nice enough that I didn't walk away with any problems. In years to come, these introductions would be of great help in my growing understandings.

I spent some time studying witchcraft, probably because my father would start dropping solid gold ones if he ever found out. But through the study of witchcraft, I learned about the sub-conscience and the purpose and intent of ritual.

My studies of Shamanism was a continuation of the above, but more because I had heard that many shamanistic cultures had been quite accepting of homosexuals.

As time went on, I would work my way through scripture from many religions including the Bhagavad-gita which brought me back to the Gospels of the New Testament. By this time, I could read the Gospels without all the preconceived notions that I had been brought up with and actually see what was there. How wonderful that was for me. I could actually read what Jesus said and hear it and not hear my Sunday School teachers indoctrinating me to be a Southern Baptist.

I'll continue this later, I'm getting pretty tired and the bed is calling. Nighty night.

A Personal History of these X-ians

The following is a copy of a post that I made to a site I stumbled across called God Hates Westboro Baptist Church. The sight is a recent startup commenting on the collection of "God Hates..." sites this so called church runs.

Enjoy!

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I use the title of X-ians in the same way that X-mas is used to remove Christ from the holiday. These people are not Christians (meaning to be Christlike) by any teaching of Jesus' that I am aware of.

I have had a fairly long history with these people over the years. I believe the first time I heard from them was from a group of Fundies at the West Hollywood Gay Pride Fest where I was given a tract and if the name hadn't been so offensive, I would most likely thrown it away.

At the time, I had a job that allowed me plenty of time to surf the web and work on my personal projects. One night I spent several hours going through their website and seeing many things I remembered from telling my parents about me...

I grew up a Southern Baptist on the northern edge of the Bible Belt.

After reading the vast majority of the site, I realized a few interesting details:

• They subscribe to the theology of predestined salvation. Basically, this idea says that we come into the world with salvation predetermined and if you are not one of the selected, too bad. You will never be able to get into heaven.


• The quote: "God does not hate them because they are homosexuals; they are homosexuals because God hates them."


• The quote: "When people go to funerals, they have thoughts of mortality, heaven, hell, eternity, etc., on their minds. It's the perfect time to warn them of things to come."

After the last 2 in particular, I was curious about an apparent contradiction in their theology. So, like the trusting idiot I have been known to be on occasion, I sent them a very polite e-mail asking how they justified it.

Basically, I asked "if I'm Gay because God hates me and there is no way for me to get into heaven because he has washed his hands of me as you state in your FAQ, why show up at funerals and basically rub salt into the wound, little less depriving me of what little joy I might find in this life since, by your understanding of the scripture, I'm damned eternally?"

Now, to be honest, I never really expected a conversation or much beyond maybe a curt thank you with a few misrepresented verses. What I got instead was an e-mail account that started being flooded with junk mail till my provider asked me to change the address. Now I can't prove it came from them, but most of it was of the same high-brow caliber as the site itself.

For those of you who may not be familiar, these are the people that showed up at Matthew Shepard and is currently showing up at fallen soldiers funerals (with their recent site GodHatesAmerica.com) since as a nation we are now hated by God for being tolerant of homosexuals amongst other ideas.

The sad fact is that these people actually mean well, they just worship a god of hatred and judgment and are in need or our love and saintly attempts not to squish them into oblivion. 8-P Seriously, they need our pity more than our retaliation.

If we judge them as harshly as they judge others, what do we do but lower ourselves to their level and become infected with the same venom that has won their hearts and souls?

Spirit Geek

Pride and Gay Pride pt 2 [Essay]

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that there are basically 3 types of homosexuals:

1. Biological
2. Selective
3. Psychological
   

Biological homosexuals came into the world the way that they are. Be it God or genetics, they were decided from day one what they would grow into.

Selective homosexuals are people who have honestly chosen to be Gay. I know many women who have followed this path after horrid relations with men where they were raped, molested, abused, etc. I have met very few men that seem to fall into this category.

Psychological homosexuals are living in a mistaken state. People in this state usually grew up being called such things as "mamma's boy," "queer," "girlie boy" and such and after a time, they began to believe it, hence they never find true happiness since they are accidentally living a lie. These are the people who programs like Exodus, amongst others, get their claimed successes. Though, like the founders of Exodus, some of their success has not lasted due to the fact the an unhappy person can make himself do nearly anything for a while, just like gay men who marry women and later come out.

I think I am from the first category, biological.

I always sensed that I was different, but didn't know exactly how until I was about six or seven years old. About that time, a group of friends and I were playing in a local park when we came across a box of Playboys. Being young boys, we immediately took them off to someplace to inspect the booty, a tree house.

I saw the pictures of the naked women and thought most of them were quite pretty, but that was all. My friends were completely enamored and it was obvious that they found it much more interesting than I did. I really did read the jokes page and part of some interview and maybe a bit of Xaviera Hollander's column, I remember the lipstick in the shape of a penis as well as the title "The Happy Hooker".

I didn't think that much about it at the time, as it wasn't the first time that I had reacted to something differently than my friends.

A few months later, we were in the same park and we found another box of magazines, only this time, there were some Hustler and other more graphic magazines than Playboy.

I was looking through a Hustler and saw a spread of a couple all done up in silver lamé in various poses and it was the first time I ever saw a naked man with an erection. Immediately, I knew what my friends had been going on about the last time we had found these and after hearing the word "faggot" thrown around, I knew it would be most prudent to keep this to myself. Peer pressure and cultural prejudices had already been planted within and were bearing fruit (pun intended).

Now is going to come a confession that I never would have expected to make, the man in the photo spread was Ron Jeremy. Now I have nothing against the man and in fact have heard that he is a totally cool dude and amazingly real, but he has NEVER been my type in any way shape or form, but he was my introduction to men en rampant.

I remember my early crushes on boys from school and I nearly failed gym a few times because I was terrified of showering after class for fear of sprouting wood. I have known many girls and women in my life, but I have never found myself sexually attracted to one.

When I was about 14 or 15, after my mother died and my dad remarried, I had a few issues with what was going on, so we entered family counseling, but I was the only one that went on a regular basis. The psychologist one day asked me if I was gay, or a homosexual. I said "No!" You see at this time, the only images of gay men I had other than kid insults were sick old men in Chicago who molested little boys and then, after killing them, buried under the house. I couldn't kill anyone, so there was no way I could be a homosexual. So when he followed the first question with an inquiry as to if I knew what a homosexual was, I had the same answer. He explained it to me and I realized that was the word that described me; as well as faggot and queer.

At one time I thought I might think I was gay since I had never slept with a woman. So, I made the decision that if the opportunity presented itself and she was someone I could care about, I'd try it. Well, it did and so did I and well (my female friends: please don't be offended or upset with me) but I could have more fun with a bowl of warm Jell-O. It was what it was, but it was quite obvious to both of us that while I could function, I wasn't going to be happy about it, even though in that moment in time, I wanted to be.

I can't help but laugh when people call it a choice. While it might be for a small minority, for most of us, we spend a fair amount of our lives kicking and screaming against this piece of self-discovery. Why would anyone "choose" to be a social pariah? I had someone tell me (actually, I've heard this on many occasions) that homosexuals are in the business of recruiting people since we cannot breed on our own as if we were a dying race, slated for extinction. Strange, even when people have had to live amazingly closeted lives and barely acknowledged it to themselves, they came across others of like orientation.

We are VERY familiar with the pains of trying to live being what we are not. We would have to be amazingly hateful people to convince others via recruitment to live a life that isn't what they were intended to be by their maker. Sure, there are some people who are selfish enough to try that, but contrary to the idea that I was taught, that mankind is inherently evil due to original sin, I see too much evidence that is not truly the case.

On September 11th, 2001 the world watched a small group of people do amazingly terrible acts in the name of God as they saw him. From the majority of the world's view this was an incredibly selfish and misguided act that would be expected from the original sin, man is evil crowd. If man truly was that way, then there would have been no heroes out of firemen and police, amongst others, to try and save anyone or thing other than their own skin. You have to be truly good at the core of your essence and being to do that kind of a job, little less after watching the aftermath. Sure, man has a tendency to be amazingly selfish in the day-to-day living of his life, but I think that is truly a learned behavior than his true nature. People consistently show their inherent goodness when it really counts. Maybe, it's time that we learned to make it the core of our day-to-day life as well...

I sometimes wonder why there is so much animosity from straight men toward gay. Maybe I am just simple-minded, but I always assumed that the problem was rooted in the nature of humans to judge, fear and hate that which they do not understand.

I remember a few years ago during the early years of the Clinton administration when he was addressing the issue of gays in the military, we won't get into what I think of the outcome ("Don't Ask, Don't Tell"). I was listening to some radio talk show and I have no idea who was being interviewed, but when asked why straight men seem to hate gay men so much, the person being interviewed said "Straight men are afraid that gay men will do to straight men what straight men have been doing to women for thousands of years." I loved that.

Earlier this evening, I was thinking about it and I had an interesting thought. It occurred to me that in nearly every culture that has such strong religious taboos are very much patriarchal societies that control property, power and inheritance through the men. Women may own some property, but the men are the ones endowed with the ability to control it. Cultural taboos and religious morality laws usually have some justifiable reason behind them and I was thinking that the union of 2 men would result in the creation of a very powerful business interest in an early culture. With 2 power yielding individuals, both able to make binding arrangements and work together collectively, you would definitely have a force to be reckoned with and that in time could quite easily become taboo for all the wrong reasons.

It's worth thinking about.

I think of it this way: most of us 'noids are so bad at loving anything other than ourselves (and some barely do that) that who are we to judge how others love. I tell people that when mankind in general learns to truly love everyone and everything, then and only then might God grant us the privilege to judge what forms it may take. Until then, we're making fools of ourselves, showing just how far from God we have become.

Pride and Gay Pride pt 1 [Essay]

Yesterday was the Christopher Street West (a.k.a. The West Hollywood Gay Pride) Parade and Festival. As usual, I went to the parade but skipped the festival itself this year. For those who have never been, it's a blast and definitely worth checking out at least once.

I could go into it's history and how it came to be, but if you are interested, they seem to do a pretty good job of recalling all that on their site.

Also as usual, I started my day with stumbling across the fundies (as I so nicely call them) a group of people who like to say they are there to love me by pounding home the idea that I am going to Hell for being gay. Well, as to that, I figure if God didn't want me to be gay, he shouldn't have made me that way. Just as heterosexuals never chose to be straight, I never chose to be gay either.

As is usual, they had the normal selection of Bible verses to quote from, though 2 come from Leviticus, they feel its fine to eat shellfish and their wives let them leave the house wearing cottons and wools and when was the last time ANY of them declared their wives unclean during her monthly visitor little less after childbirth. But though they have little to no interest in following the vast majority of rules and regulations of the book of Leviticus, they have absolutely no problem judging the guests and participants of the festival with them. People like that give Christians a bad name in my book and I find it such a shame that the majority of Christians don't do something about them.

I see the majority of these same people here every year and would have thought they might have had enough experience at the parades to at least ask some questions of the ideas and assumptions they made very clear in the conversations.

The first gentleman (I use that term loosely) would make some jack-ass statement and paint himself into a corner and instead of re-trying, he just got louder and louder. The second was more polite and we at least discussed the differences in our positions and made an effort at civility, if not courtesy. The third was as bad as the first except instead of getting loud, he would start throwing insults and really vile assumptions.

He would say that being gay meant that I was a drunkard and a lascivious sex pervert. I may have an occasional glass of wine with dinner and once in a while have a cocktail when I go out with friends, but I very rarely get plastered or even a bit tipsy, so drunkard is taking it a bit far. As far as being a sex pervert, I've been celibate (mainly) for the last 7 years. I have always been a bit old-fashioned in my dating in that I actually like knowing someone before I go to bed with them. Albeit, in West Hollywood, that makes dating a bit difficult but I don't spend much time there.

A friend had gone to the festivities with me and thought I was crazy for wasting my time in such a futile pursuit. I told him that I wasn't actually expecting any of them to become gay tolerant, little less friendly, but that you do it for the one single individual that later might actually look into the things I had said and have his heart, if not his mind, opened a bit more. Hence, why I get called a Spiritual Johnny Appleseed.

So what is being Gay? It's about being the person God made me and if that means being attracted to and loving those of the same gender as myself, so be it. For myself, Gay Pride is being just that and celebrating the diversity of God's creation by not letting simple and hateful people force me to be ashamed of something that I have little to no control over (I've decided to do a part 2 of this entry that will go into my personal history a bit on finding out about my being Gay).

To many people, being Gay is about going to bars and getting laid every day. That's a community activity that happens to most people when they come out of the closet. When you become aware that others are the same as you, that you are not a freak of nature and all alone, people have a tendency to over-compensate for the perceived loss of the experiences that most people get during adolescence. Though a hedonistic lifestyle has become a common and well publicized aspect of Gay life, these are nearly as prevalent in the heterosexual community, not a great idea for a central focus to a life beyond the crotch.

Though I am sure that many disagree with me, as far as I've been able to determine, the morality of nearly all activities is in the why, not the what. If I sleep with someone because I want to use them as a life-sized, 98.6 degree, breathing sex toy, I demean both them and myself. On the other hand, if I sleep with someone because I wish to share myself body and soul with them and they likewise with me, that's a beautiful thing and should be celebrated, not berated.