What and How pt 1 [Essay]

I'm sitting in Downtown Los Angeles on Olive, just south of 7th St, waiting for a customer who is at a wedding on the next block. Kind of boring, but it's what I'm paid to do as a chauffeur. At least I'm on the clock.

I was looking over the recent posts and if you were not aware of it, you might think that this blog is about being gay or gay rights. While I am gay and I do care about my rights and the possibility of meeting someone and getting married someday, it's not my main concern by a long shot. I guess it's because it is June. June has always been a big month for me as a gay man since it is when the majority of the Pride Celebrations take place and in response, the less open minded usually start doing their burning-in-hell dance.

This blog is mainly about Spirit and the day-to-day thoughts and experiences of exploring that Spirit.

I am a student (predominantly self-taught) of comparative religion, theology and philosophy. Basically, I am fascinated by the plethora of expressions of God, the Higher Power or whatever you want to call it/him/her.

Personally, I think English needs a new gender pronoun for expressing that which is beyond gender. "He" or "She" ends up alienating many people for a fair sized collection of reasons and "It" just seems insulting. I wouldn't be to surprised if I figure out and coin a new term, but I haven't a clue as of yet...

When I was a child, going to Rock Hill Baptist Church in St. Louis, MO, I found church interesting, but frustrating. On some level, I knew that the truth was there someplace, but it wasn't in what I was being told.

When I told my parents about my being gay, they didn't take it well and there was a bit of a backlash that I hadn't really expected. About the same time, our pastor gave a sermon that went something along the lines of how if one accepts one part of the Bible, one must accept the rest. Well, having been brought up in the Southern Baptist Convention, I knew there were many things in the Bible that the church not only disagreed with, but actively condemned.

When I left the church, initially I left God and all thoughts of Him as well. I was of the opinion that if any God was going to allow these things to be done in His name, screw Him. If this is where God was, I wanted nothing to do with it. I kind of threw the baby out with the bath water.

Not long after this, I started pursuing interests in religion that were out of the mainstream. About this time, I was introduced to the Hari-Krishnas, the Baha'i, some Japanese Buddhists and a couple of witches. Now at the time I wasn't really sure what to make of any of them, my Southern Baptist upbringing being somewhat offended, but they all seemed nice enough that I didn't walk away with any problems. In years to come, these introductions would be of great help in my growing understandings.

I spent some time studying witchcraft, probably because my father would start dropping solid gold ones if he ever found out. But through the study of witchcraft, I learned about the sub-conscience and the purpose and intent of ritual.

My studies of Shamanism was a continuation of the above, but more because I had heard that many shamanistic cultures had been quite accepting of homosexuals.

As time went on, I would work my way through scripture from many religions including the Bhagavad-gita which brought me back to the Gospels of the New Testament. By this time, I could read the Gospels without all the preconceived notions that I had been brought up with and actually see what was there. How wonderful that was for me. I could actually read what Jesus said and hear it and not hear my Sunday School teachers indoctrinating me to be a Southern Baptist.

I'll continue this later, I'm getting pretty tired and the bed is calling. Nighty night.