Growth can be such a pain...

There are times that we have to do things that we may not really want or like, but if we REALLY had to do them, they are for the best and eventually we will see that.

Today is turning out to be one of those days. I have needed to deal with a relationship (business and personal) that has been going downhill for the last couple of years.

The failure of the relationship is no one's fault, over the years we just grew apart and had less and less in common. Personality traits that were only annoying but cute turned into major issues and certain communication issues became apparently immutable.

I should not really call it a relationship "failure," there is no failure in it, just a growing apart that eventually had to be severed for the benefit of both parties. I hope that they will be aware of this in time, if they don't already, and in time our paths may cross again and maybe a new relationship can grow from the ashes of this one, like the Phoenix rising.

What most would call "failure" is nothing but a preparatory for the "success" we crave. Perceived failures are a requirement for success; one cannot exist without the other. It is as Thomas Edison said when asked about his previous failed experiments with inventing the light bulb.

"If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward".

Thomas A. Edison, Encyclopaedia Britannica

It is one of those things that is part of the growth process. The last year or so has been SOOO about growth in many ways from me.

Several years ago, I had a friend who introduced me to Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati who is a follower of the Indian Deity of Mother Kali. My friend began praying to Kali to help her break the bonds that were keeping her from the growth that she wanted. Almost immediately, she lost her job, her apartment and nearly everything she owned. At the time, she thought it was a disaster, how could things possibly get worse.

As time went on, and in a surprisingly short amount of time, she had a new job that she both loved and scheduled her with hours that allowed her to do the things she wanted.A new living arrangement came up in a place with everything she could ask for and a roommate that was of the same spiritual mindset as she. What looked like a disaster was just a clearing so she could be ready for her next step.

While this separation of a longtime friend is going to include a period of mourning, I have to believe that in the end it will be for the best. In the short run, a fair amount of stress has been dispersed with

I guess in this moment, I will have to agree with Mother Theresa;

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

A warning between now and November 4, 2008

The California Supreme Court's lifting of the Same-Sex Marriage ban and its expected repercussions, both in California and Nationwide this November, reminded me of a joke I heard as a kid...

A farmer was at the market and while passing some livestock, looked down and saw a large, masculine rooster with wonderful plumage and features. The gentleman selling the chickens assured the farmer that the animal of his affection was an excellent replacement for the elderly one he had at home.

The farmer bought the animal and upon arriving home, set the rooster loose in the yard. After a short while, it spotted the old rooster and started to attack and become the head of the flock.

The other rooster may have been old and past his prime, but his intelligence was still sharp. As the young rooster approached he managed to stop him and said, "Listen, you don't have to kill me. I won't get in your way, I just want to live out the rest of my days in peace."

The younger rooster was stopped for a moment, but then asked, "and how do you expect to do that?"

"I'll tell you what I have in mind," the elder went on, "I cannot fight you, so lets do this the easy way and we both can get what we want. When the farmer comes out, you start chasing me around the yard and after a bit, I'll fall down and play dead. The farmer will throw me out and onto the trash heap, voilà, we both win. I can sneak away and enjoy my golden years and you get this lovely brood of hens."

The young rooster thought about this for a moment and decided that it was a lot easier than having to fight this old-timer. So he agreed.

Later that afternoon, the farmer came out of the house and almost immediately, the young rooster started chasing after his elder while squawking and making all sorts of noises.

The farmer seeing this cussed under his breath and went back into the house and grabbing his shotgun, took aim and bang shot the young rooster.

While reloading the gun, the old rooster heard the farmer muttering to himself, "Damn it, third queer bird this month."

Though this blog is not really about politics, the fact is that between the Religious Right (ick) and the Republican Party, both have learned that is much easier to manipulate the public through their fears and hatreds than to take a chance by stating actual positions and take the chance of making a mistake or alienating someone.

The upcoming elections will likely be a PhD in manipulation and the fear of "Radical Muslim" attacks is likely to be brought up and I wouldn't be surprised if we start having changes in the "Terror Alert" system, you remember that do you not? Just before any vote that would benefit the Republican platform and be debated out easily, would be proceeded by the latest raising of the "Terror Alert Level," we spent nearly 3 years being conditioned like Pavlov's dog to do whatever Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld wanted by this technique. It's basic Fear 101.

If this were not despicable enough behaviour, now the Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell clones can spend the next several months going on about how we must save marriage from the homosexual agenda and such silliness.

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The point I am trying to get across is that no matter what your beliefs, religious or political, expect many people to try and sway your position, including this piece. At least I am honest about it and I am only trying to warn you that others will use much more "knee-jerk" techniques that have shown to be very effective in this country.

Elections and voting in general are serious things, take the time to get more than sound bytes that do not give a complete position. If a political message evokes a strong response, whichever way, look into it, find out who put it out and what are their objectives. Many corporations are going to be gunning for Democrats because they fear the reversal of tax credits and possible increased taxation on some of their insane profits, like the energy companies in particular.

So be awake, be aware and definitely engage your brain, unless you think that those decisions should be taken out of your hands. There are many people and groups out their who are interested only in their positions and don't care about anything else, don't help them unless you agree with those positions.

And so it begins...

A month ago, I wrote about the fact that the California Supreme Court determined that discrimination along the lines of "separate but equal" had been overturned and Same-Sex Couples would be allowed to legally use the term "marriage" and as of 5:01pm today, it has taken affect.


I just finished watching the first same-sex couple in Los Angeles, Diane Olson and Robin Tyler, together for over fifteen years, get married on the steps of the Beverly Hills courthouse where they had been denied a marriage license every Valentines Day for the last eight years they had applied for it.

In San Francisco, the mayor of that city was also performing a marriage of a couple that had been together for fifty-five years; Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 84.

Of course some closed-minded pin-head, not very enlightened of me, but when you hear someone yell "you will be burning in Hell" during a ceremony, I loose my perspective a bit. Agree with it or not, have some respect, but if there is anything that the Religious Right (ick - they are not right and if they would actually read their Bibles, they would know it.) has shown, neither respect for differing opinions or common courtesy can be expected from them, sad is it not?

The part of this whole argument that really gets to me from the, self-proclaimed, moralists is that with all their arguments, they obviously have no idea what a marriage is supposed to be. It's not about the genders of the parties involved, but commitment to become two who come together as one.

May all those in the Gay and Lesbian community that decide to enter into marriage do so for the right reasons, love and commitment, and in time, maybe we can show these closed-minded individuals what a marriage is supposed to be.

Would it not be hilarious if we turned out to be better at keeping marriages together than our Christian brothers and sisters who think we will be the death of marriage?

Happy Birthday... a new year begins

It has been a VERY busy couple of weeks. I had decided to move back to the westside of Los Angeles, back to Mar Vista, after the summer was over when a friend made an offer that I could not refuse. (why am I hearing the theme from "The Godfather?")

I spent the last two week packing up and moving myself and have finally finished that job. I keep swearing to myself that every time I do this that it is the last time and next time I will hire movers to do the labor. I am still recovering but the exercise was good and good for me.

2008 has gotten off to an interesting start as the universe and I get onto a first name basis with each other. I have met some interesting clients as I grow my Life Coaching practice and last month I completed my Reiki II program and am adding that to my list of services that I offer my clientelle.

Reiki, pronounced ray-kee and meaning universal life force energy, originated in Japan in the mid-19th century by Dr. Mikao Usui, a physician and monk. Reiki belongs to what is called energy medicine because it works with subtle energies of the body, believing that disturbances, imbalances, or depleted energy (ki) cause illness. It is an art that is passed from master to student. Reiki works so well with my intuitive nature and has been such a wonderful blessing in my life as both a recipient and a practitioner.

Usually, the month before my birthday is a tough one to deal with, but this year has been actually helpful. My mood has been very high, I found and had a simple move, I actually had a friend help me move the large items with his truck (that's a small miracle as anyone who has truck owning friends knows).

Life is good and, as always, getting better if we will just allow it. So happy birthday to me and may this new personal year continue as one of growth and prosperity.

Peace and joy to all those who would read this and wish me a happy day and/or peace and joy...

Same-sex Marriage & the Conservative Right

The California Supreme Court today overturned California Proposition 22, from the 2000 election, which attempted to define that only marriages between a man and a woman would be recognized by the state.

SECTION 1. This act may be cited as the "California Defense of Marriage Act."

SECTION 2. Section 308.5 is added to the Family Code, to read:

308.5. Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

Of course the traditionalists and the religious right are not going to be happy in the slightest about this and I completely expect that the usual claims that this is going to destroy marriage is on the horizon. I also expect that Pat Robertson will be having a mental meltdown on Friday's edition of the 700 Club, more on him and a few of his recent statements later.

I am sure that the religious right was not taken completely by surprise since they have been gathering 1.1 million signatures to qualify a state constitutional amendment to deny same-sex marriage, Initiative 07-0068.

SECTION 1. This measure shall be known and may be cited as the "California Marriage Protection Act."

SECTION 2. Article I, Section 7.5 is added to the California Constitution, to read:

Section 7.5. Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

The actual text is identical, but by adding it to the state's Constitution, the current ruling would be trumped.

We could go into the lower arguments that the very people that claim same-sex marriage will destroy the institution also have some of the highest divorce rates and little regard for marriage outside their personal interest, but let's look at a few of the "better" arguments that I have heard as of late.

Pat Robertson has never really been one of my favorite people, but as of late he has developed a near Ph.D. in "hoof in mouth" disease. Here is an excellent example...


Other than the usual fear tactics of what "gay and trans-gendered" people are going to do and the other usual verbal diarrhea, my favorites are as follows with the time marks for interesting places to look.

1:04-1:50	:	Pat feels that maximum of 2% of the population is "gay" and 1% are "lesbian" so it is acceptable to discriminate against this nominal number since they do not make up 10-20%.
2:21-2:47	:	Though he hasn't the courage to actually say it, he feels that marriage is only about reproduction since he has repeatedly stated that when two men or two women can procreate, he would be willing to reconsider his objection to same-sex marriage. This argument has always made me wonder why these people claim this argument when they would never refuse a heterosexual couple the privilege of marriage if they had no intent to have children, by choice, biology or age...
2:47-3:10	:	"The reason we protect marriage is children." OK, so let's change the laws so that marriage is only available to couples having children and dissolve said marriages when the children are no longer at home.

These so called objections are not really arguments, but simple excuses that non-thinking individuals will accept. Pat and those like him are more than happy to condemn people in "cults" for drinking the arsenic laced kool-aid, but when it comes to there own poison laden kool-aid, drink and be happy...

oh yes and "saved."