a Giving Thanks list

Last Thursday was Thanksgiving and as much as I appreciate the traditional overindulgence in foodstuffs, like Christmas, there is more going on than inducing a L-triptophan overdose of napping.

Where I grew up, the big thing was the annual football game between between my high-school, Kirkwood, and our rivals from across town, Webster Groves, (life was a blast the year I transferred into that school just before the game). From what I hear, Kirkwood won this year which was the 100^th Turkey-day game between them. Congrats to the Kirkwood Pioneers.

But as much as football and food are plentiful on this day, what I try to do every year is make a list of things that I have to give thanks for. It's one thing to set aside a day, but I find it helpful to actually list them out and look at them, cherishing each for a moment so as to actually give some thanks.

• My friends -- more like family...
  
  • * -- my best source of reality slaps when I need one in short order. Gifted by the Gods to be able to see though my self-indulgent BS whenever I need it.
    
  • *-- probably the person in Los Angeles that knows me better and longer than anyone else. Why she puts up with me, I don't know but I love her for it.
  • * -- likely my best friend, we fight on occasion and yet we always are there for each other.
• The learned lessons of the previous year
  • "The difference between a rut and a grave is only a matter of depth."
    My great-grandfather told me this when I was a kid, it has taken until lately to realize the truth of it and be willing to climb out of my rut before it falls in and becomes that grave.
  • Follow your heart and the universe will be there for you.
    I have lived this unintentionally on many occasions, but now I live it on a daily basis with intention.
  • I have finally become truly aware of the fact that what I have is of some value to the world and that it is not wrong to want to share it with those who want it. Follow that small voice inside and it will tell me when and with whom.
• My health
  • My Doctor is always freaking out about my cholesterol levels. This year we have finally gotten it under control and all is well. I am not going to have a heart-attack anytime soon, at least not from cholesterol levels...
  • My other condition is absolutely fantastic and seems to be completely under control.
• My new employment arrangements
  • No longer at the limo company
    As much as I liked my job and loved the people I was meeting at the company, I never realized how much of my life was dedicated to the job to the expense of everything else. I think on some levels, I was hiding from both life and what I really wanted to become. I still love the people I worked for and with, but after several years of 3,000 miles per month in LA traffic, enough is enough.
  • Computer services
    While this is not my final goal in the universe, I have spent years learning skills that have a nice value to them and without having to work for someone else or full time, I can make enough money to work on my true goals and desires. What a blessing this has turned out to be.
  • Life Coaching and Spiritual Teaching
    Not only has the last few months allowed me to create the basic site for this, but I have been inspired in so many ways as to how to proceed with it. Things are starting slowly, but in a way that is a good thing since I have the opportunity to plan the directions in which I and it will go.

This list is nowhere near complete, but it is a beginning.

Everyday, be thankful for the gifts and blessings that show up in your life. By acknowledging them, you not only give blessings, but they tend to grow into greater and greater things to be blessed by. This is one simple way in which the Law of Attraction or "the Secret" can be used to improve our lives in directions we want to go in.

To be or not to be (insane that is)

I am sitting in the Grounded Cybercafe having a mocha and trying to get some things done. I've managed to invoice a computer client and get that on it's way and decided to write a blog entry as well as try to get some writing done on at least one of the several projects that I am working on.

I have been thinking about the incarnation of Spiritgeek.com as far as how I want it to go. I am torn between extremes, at least from my perspective. I am trying to decide between two different forms.

1. A Traditional model -- the calm and mellow teacher
   This is the image most people seem to have of a spiritual teacher, Mr. Miyagi from "The Karate Kid", someone who is basically unfazed by anything that happens around him. Lets be honest, nice but kinda dull and boring.
2. Less Traditional -- more actual "living"
   

As much as I appreciate and respect the more sedate, traditional teacher, I tend to lean more toward the more "active" type teacher.

I'm not sure I want to be part of the "crazy" school, but if the universe is perfect and all things are perfect for their time and place and if life was meant to be an entertainment, it just seems wrong to be bored with it all. No matter where you are on the spiritual evolutionary spectrum, I would think that boredom is a sign that you either "want" to be bored or you are missing something (at least that is what seems to be the case when I get bored, I usually find I have missed something).

So, I guess now that I have been thinking about it to write this, I have my answer, be true to who and what God made me to be and if there are those who don't like it, well, screw them!

Why did I have to write this bit to determine that? Probably since it is a way in which I put my thoughts in order and analyze them. I could easily erase this and never let anyone know this thought pattern ever existed, but part of the reason for the blog is the documentation of the mental and spiritual musings of a soul in this universe.

Om Shanti

...it ain't for sissies

I have been out of the limo company now for nearly 2½ months and while being quite busy, I have also become aware of several things to be looked into and learned about and/or from.

Change, it ain't for sissies
A friend of mine watched me have some toaster waffles a while back and thought it a touch odd that I would cut them into 8 pieces before I would eat them, 4 bisecting cuts into a circle. From my perspective, it seemed logical in that I tend to read while eating and cut my food for easy access while staring at my book. My friend found it of interest and commented that my life had been so out of control for so long that this was possibly a small routine that gave me the feeling of control.

At the time I did not really think about it much, but since leaving the limo company, I have begun to be confronted with the fact of just how much of a creature of habit I really have allowed myself to become.

Another friend commented recently that they thought it would be good for me to "step out of my comfort zone." Let me tell you, when you go from being a slave to a job for 10 - 16 hours a day and 6 or 7 days a week to self-employed and completely responsible for nearly every dime you make, I am so far out of my comfort zone that I would be surprised if they are in the same dimension.

After taking a break for a couple of weeks, I became nearly paralyzed with fear and anxiety about what I was going to be doing. I am still dealing with these to an extent, but at least I am not feeling physically ill every morning.

Blazing an Independent Path, it ain't for sissies
I have always been reasonably comfortable that the Life and Spiritual paths I have followed were off the beaten track but have become aware of just how difficult it can become when a philosophy goes from something you believe in and is tested by actually living it. Some philosophies come along as easier than others to follow but mine is not easy, but once I realized that I was missing my previous patterns more than actually fearing the "process", it got easier.

I am a firm believer in the Law of Attraction, but I still find myself limiting it by trying to dictate how it will manifest. As an example, with this change in work from employed to "gainfully unemployed," I have set certain goals that I want to reach regarding the amounts of cash I want to make. The first few weeks, nothing happened and I was starting to freak-out about my finances, or apparent lack there-of.

I tried to meditate, but I was such a nervous wreck that I wouldn't have heard Gabriel blow his trumpet, little less the quiet still voice of inspiration. I had to relax as much as I could and realize that all was actually perfect and would come unto itself. It took a little longer and I resigned myself to the idea that I was going to have to take a job, at least temporarily, and suddenly I received a few calls for computer services and a short-term contract that not only paid my bills in a week, but next months as well.

It reminds me of an old Indian story, told many ways, but here's how I tell it.

Narada, the musician of the gods, was walking along a path when he came upon a swami that had quite obviously been sitting and meditating in this spot for many years.

The swami noticed Narada and asked what he was up to.

"I am on my way to see Krishna and play a beautiful song for His enjoyment."

The swami asked for the following favor, "When you see Krishna, would you please ask Him how much longer I must sit in meditation before I find Realization and need not return to this world of sorrows again?"

Narada agreed and continued on his way. A little later, he came upon a young neophyte who was having some difficulty holding his concentration and when he saw Narada also asked for the favor of how long he must meditate before finding enlightenment.

Once again, Narada agreed and went on his way.

Much time passed and Narada was again on the road when he came upon the aged swami.

The swami asked if Narada has spoken to Krishna and asked his question.

Narada responded, "My Lord Krishna says that in 4 lifetimes you will reach Realization and return home to Him, never to return."

This answer infuriated the swami who thought it grossly unfair that after his many lifetimes of devotion and meditation that he would still have to bear 4 more lives.

Narada continued on his way and after a while came upon the neophyte monk who also asked if Narada had finished his previous journey and what Krishna's response was to his inquiry.

Narada looked up into the tree over the young monk and said, "My Lord Krishna says that a lifetime for every leaf in this tree it will take for you to reach enlightenment."

The young monk looked into the tree and said, "Well at least it is a finite number and there are not that many leaves in this tree." At this point the young monk started to return to his meditations when The Lord Krishna appeared with his eagle, Garuda, and asks the young monk to join Him in heaven.

The young monk, surprised at such a glorious offer, asks "how could this be? I thought I had many lives to go first."

Krishna is pleased at the question and tells him, "To sit in meditation and ponder upon Me would take you many lifetimes to reach enlightenment, but in your heart of hearts, you were so surrendered to My will that you were willing to submit, and for this, you may return home now."

This ancient story reminds us that of our own will and efforts, we will eventually learn the simple fact that it is through surrender that we find our goals put before us, we cannot make them on "our" schedule and when we try, we make the wait even longer by the delaying that which is already waiting to come to us.

Traveling Life Alone, it ain't for Sissies
Like most people, I have the wish for someone to share my life with as a partner and friend. A spouse, life-partner or at least a significant other.

In those times when we forget that we are never truly alone, it is so easy to become lost in the appearance that there is no one to share it all with. When we become aware that we are never truly alone, unless you believe that God is not omni-present, it becomes obvious that "aloneness" is only an illusion of our forgetfulness.

When I get lonely, all I have to do is remember that since I am a small spark of God, I can never truly be alone unless I want to project the illusion. Remember this simple fact and know that aloneness will never be a problem again if you are willing to see the truth.